By 
© Eugenio MarongiuThere’s some not-so-great stuff that’s become far too common in relationships. We’re talking about those things we see in movies, on social media, or even with our friends who make us think, “Oh, that’s just how it is.” But honestly? A lot of this stuff is far from healthy and can lead to some serious issues down the line. Here are some toxic relationship trends and start setting some better standards for ourselves and our partners.
1. Playing mind games or manipulating your partner
Look, relationships should be built on trust, honesty, and open communication. Intentionally trying to confuse, mislead, or control your partner is a major red flag. It creates an unhealthy power dynamic and can lead to emotional distress for both of you. Instead of resorting to manipulative tactics, focus on fostering a genuine connection based on mutual respect and understanding.
2. Expecting your partner to be your “everything”
It’s unrealistic to expect one person to fulfil all your needs and desires. Having a healthy relationship means maintaining your individuality and having a support system outside your partner. This could include friends, family, hobbies, or personal interests. Placing all your emotional and social needs on your partner can create an unhealthy dependency and put a strain on your relationship.
3. Believing jealousy is a sign of love
Jealousy often stems from insecurity and lack of trust, and it can quickly escalate into controlling or possessive behaviour. A healthy relationship allows for independence and trust, and it doesn’t involve constant suspicion or monitoring. If you find yourself feeling excessively jealous, it’s important to address those underlying insecurities and communicate openly with your partner instead of letting it fester.
4. Normalising constant fighting and drama
Every couple has disagreements, but if your relationship is marked by constant arguments, yelling, and emotional turmoil, it’s not healthy. Respectful communication and conflict resolution are essential for a sustainable partnership. If you find yourselves constantly fighting, it might be time to seek professional help or re-evaluate whether the relationship is serving both of you well.
5. Dismissing your needs and boundaries
Your needs and boundaries are valid, and it’s not selfish to communicate them to your partner. A healthy relationship involves mutual respect and a willingness to compromise. Ignoring your own needs can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction in the long run. Learn to assert yourself and set clear boundaries with your partner. It’s okay to say “no” and prioritise your well-being.
6. Making excuses for your partner’s bad behaviour
Love shouldn’t blind you to your partner’s flaws or hurtful actions. If they consistently disrespect you, lie, or engage in other harmful behaviours, it’s not your responsibility to make excuses or justify their actions. Hold your partner accountable and expect them to treat you with kindness and respect. If they are unwilling or unable to change, it’s okay to walk away.
7. Sacrificing your happiness for your partner
While compromise is important, it shouldn’t come at the cost of your own happiness. A fulfilling relationship should enhance your life, not diminish it. If you consistently find yourself sacrificing your own needs and desires to please your partner, it’s a sign of an unbalanced dynamic. Remember, you deserve to be happy too. Don’t be afraid to prioritise your own well-being and advocate for your needs within the relationship.
8. Staying in a relationship out of fear of being alone
Being single can be scary, but it’s important to remember that it’s better to be alone than in a bad relationship. Settling for a partner who doesn’t make you happy or fulfil your needs out of fear of loneliness will only lead to long-term unhappiness. Take the time to focus on yourself, build healthy friendships, and pursue your passions. When you’re happy and confident on your own, you’ll be better equipped to attract a fulfilling and supportive partnership.
9. Thinking grand gestures make up for consistent neglect
Sure, a surprise weekend getaway or an expensive gift can be nice, but they shouldn’t be used to compensate for a lack of everyday affection, support, and communication. A healthy relationship involves consistent effort and attention, not just occasional grand displays.
10. Believing you can change your partner
People can change, but only if they’re willing to do the work themselves. It’s not your responsibility to fix or change your partner, and attempting to do so will only lead to frustration and disappointment. Accept your partner for who they are, and if their behaviour is a dealbreaker, it’s okay to move on.
11. Comparing your relationship to other people’s
Every relationship is unique, and comparing yours to those of your friends, family, or people on social media is a recipe for unhappiness. What works for one couple might not work for another, and focusing on what you perceive as “lacking” in your own relationship can breed resentment and dissatisfaction.
12. Staying silent about important issues
Open and honest communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. If you’re harbouring resentment, feeling unheard, or have concerns about your partner’s behaviour, it’s crucial to speak up. Sweeping issues under the rug will only lead to them festering and causing bigger problems down the line.
13. Prioritising your partner’s happiness over your own
While it’s natural to want your partner to be happy, it shouldn’t come at the expense of your own well-being. A healthy relationship involves a balance of giving and receiving, and both partners should feel valued and supported. If you constantly put your partner’s needs above your own, you’re setting yourself up for burnout and resentment.
14. Using social media as a tool for revenge or to make your partner jealous
Posting cryptic messages, flirting with people online, or sharing private details about your relationship as a way to get back at your partner is immature and harmful. If you have issues in your relationship, address them directly with your partner instead of resorting to passive-aggressive tactics on social media.
15. Ignoring red flags early in the relationship
It’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of a new relationship, but it’s important to pay attention to any red flags that might indicate potential problems down the line. This could include controlling behaviour, disrespect, dishonesty, or a lack of emotional availability. Trust your gut instincts and don’t ignore warning signs just because you’re hoping for the best. By recognising and challenging these unhealthy relationship norms, we can create a more positive and fulfilling dating culture for everyone.
