You’ve probably heard about the importance of setting healthy boundaries, but it really can’t be overstated.
Setting limitations for what you find acceptable and what you’ll put up with is so important for protecting yourself — and yes, that’s even when it comes to family. No matter what kind of manipulative tactics (guilt-tripping, gaslighting, etc.) anyone in your life uses, please know that you don’t know anyone any of these things.
1. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your life choices.
Whether it’s your career path, your relationship status, or your decision to have children (or not), you’re entitled to make your own choices without justifying them to anyone else. It’s your life, and you get to live it on your own terms.
2. You don’t owe anyone access to your personal space or belongings.
Everyone deserves to have their privacy respected. You have the right to set boundaries around your physical space, your belongings, and your personal information. It’s okay to say no if someone asks to borrow something you’re not comfortable lending, or if you simply need some time alone.
3. You don’t owe anyone your time and energy if you’re not up for it.
It’s okay to say no to social invitations, requests for help, or even family gatherings if you’re feeling overwhelmed or simply need some time to recharge. Your time and energy are valuable, and you have the right to put yourself first and look after yourself.
4. You don’t owe anyone your emotional labour.
You’re not responsible for managing other people’s emotions or fixing their problems. It’s okay to set boundaries around how much emotional support you’re willing to provide. You’re not obligated to be anyone’s therapist or shoulder to cry on 24/7.
5. You don’t owe anyone your financial support if you’re not in a position to give it.
Whether it’s lending money to a friend or supporting your parents financially, you’re not obligated to give more than you can afford. It’s important to prioritise your own financial stability and make responsible choices with your money.
6. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your feelings.
Your feelings are valid, and you don’t need to justify them to anyone. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated, even if other people don’t understand or agree with your emotions. You’re entitled to your own emotional experiences.
7. You don’t owe anyone your forgiveness if you’re not ready.
Forgiveness is a personal process, and it takes time. If someone has hurt you, you’re not obligated to forgive them immediately or at all. It’s okay to take the time you need to heal and decide whether forgiveness is right for you.
8. You don’t owe anyone your physical affection if you’re not comfortable.
Whether it’s a hug, a kiss, or any other form of physical touch, you have the right to say no if you’re not comfortable. Your body is your own, and you get to decide who you share it with and how.
9. You don’t owe anyone your dreams or aspirations.
You’re entitled to pursue your own goals and dreams, even if they don’t align with what other people expect of you. Don’t let anyone else dictate your path or try to discourage you from following your passions. It’s your life, and you get to decide what you want to achieve.
10. You don’t owe anyone your secrets or private information.
You have the right to keep certain aspects of your life private, even from those closest to you. It’s okay to set boundaries around what you’re willing to share and with whom. Your personal life is yours to protect.
11. You don’t owe anyone your constant availability.
You’re not obligated to be available to everyone all the time. It’s okay to turn off your phone, take a break from social media, or simply say no to requests for your time if you need some space or want to focus on other things.
12. You don’t owe anyone your conformity.
You don’t have to fit into a mould or conform to societal expectations just to please other people. Embrace your individuality, express your unique style, and be proud of who you are. Authenticity is far more valuable than conformity.
13. You don’t owe anyone your happiness.
Your happiness is your own responsibility. While it’s wonderful to share your happiness with other people, don’t feel obligated to put on a happy face or pretend everything is okay if it’s not. It’s okay to feel your feelings and express your true emotions.
14. You don’t owe anyone your past.
Everyone has a past, and you don’t need to disclose every detail of yours if you’re not comfortable. You have the right to keep certain experiences private and focus on the present and future.
15. You don’t owe anyone your perfection.
Nobody’s perfect, and striving for unattainable standards can lead to stress and anxiety. Embrace your imperfections, learn from your mistakes, and focus on progress, not perfection. You’re worthy of love and acceptance, just as you are.
