Not every relationship crash-and-burn moment comes with dramatic red flags waving in your face. Sometimes, it’s a slow realisation that this person you’re dating is just… not right for you. And while nobody’s perfect, there are certain personality types that tend to bring more chaos than connection—especially if they haven’t done any self-reflection. If you’re dating to build something real (and not just for entertainment), here are some of the types of people you might want to steer clear of romantically.
1. The fixer-upper
This is the person who clearly has a lot of growing up to do, but you convince yourself you can help “fix” them. Maybe they’re still emotionally stuck in their last breakup, or they treat their job like it’s optional, or they haven’t unpacked a single childhood wound.
Being supportive is one thing—but dating someone in hopes that they’ll change usually means you’re more invested in their potential than their reality. If you find yourself doing emotional heavy lifting every day, it’s time to step back and ask why you’re dating a project.
2. The one who never takes accountability
They’ve never once done anything wrong in their entire dating history—just ask them. Every ex was “crazy,” every argument is your fault, and they’ve somehow always been the victim, no matter the story. If someone can’t own their part in conflict, you’ll always be stuck cleaning up emotional messes they helped create. Relationships need two grown adults, not one adult and one person dodging every ounce of responsibility.
3. The emotionally unavailable one
This person sends mixed signals like it’s a hobby. They’re sweet and present one minute, then cold and distant the next. You never really know where you stand, and asking about it somehow makes you feel needy. If you’re constantly trying to earn affection or decode what they’re feeling, you’re probably not in a healthy space. Emotional availability isn’t optional—it’s the bare minimum if you want something real.
4. The full-time flirt
This person thrives on attention. They might not technically cheat, but their boundaries with other people are blurry at best. They need to be liked, noticed, and desired, even if it means putting you in awkward situations. If you constantly feel like you’re competing with their ego, that’s not romantic—it’s exhausting. You shouldn’t have to earn respect by pretending their “harmless” flirting isn’t affecting you.
5. The one who rushes everything
They tell you they’re falling for you in week one. They’re already talking about moving in before you’ve even met their friends. Everything feels fast, intense, and overwhelming, even if part of you is flattered. Love-bombing isn’t romance, it’s often a red flag. When someone skips all the getting-to-know-you steps, it’s not usually about connection—it’s about control or idealisation. Slow and steady builds something solid. This? Not so much.
6. The one who competes with you
This person treats your wins like a threat and your struggles like an opportunity to feel superior. They always need to one-up your stories, your successes, or your bad days. Healthy relationships aren’t about keeping score. If someone’s more interested in being right or “winning” than being supportive, you’re not dating a partner—you’re dating a rival.
7. The one who can’t be alone
They jump from relationship to relationship like it’s a survival tactic. They don’t really take time to process breakups—they just plug someone new into the same emotional space. If they don’t know who they are outside of dating, chances are they’ll end up projecting old baggage onto you. You deserve someone who’s with you because they want to be, not because they’re terrified of being single.
8. The all-talk-no-action type
They’ve got big dreams, big plans, and a whole speech about how amazing their future will be. But when it comes to taking steps? Crickets. They talk a great game but can’t follow through to save their life. It’s hard to build something steady with someone who doesn’t show up when it counts. Reliability might not be flashy, but it’s what makes love sustainable. If everything stays in fantasy mode, that’s your clue.
9. The guilt-tripper
They make you feel bad for having needs, boundaries, or your own life. Everything becomes a reason for them to pout, sulk, or play the victim. You end up apologising for things that weren’t even wrong. As time goes on, guilt-tripping destroys your self-worth. You’ll start walking on eggshells just to avoid setting them off, and that’s not love. It’s emotional manipulation dressed up as sensitivity.
10. The “too cool to care” one
They pride themselves on being unbothered, detached, and emotionally mysterious. Feelings? Too messy. Communication? Optional. They act like caring deeply is cringe and vulnerability is weakness. It might seem edgy at first, but you’ll eventually feel lonely next to someone who treats emotional intimacy like a punchline. Being cool isn’t the same as being connected. You deserve more than indifference.
11. The one still hung up on their ex
They might not talk about their ex constantly, but the signs are there—old photos still linger, comparisons slip out, or they seem oddly defensive whenever the past comes up. Sometimes, you can just feel it in the silence. You’re not a placeholder. You shouldn’t have to compete with a ghost or prove that you’re “better.” Until someone has fully let go of their last relationship, they’re not ready for a new one.
12. The one who doesn’t respect your time
They cancel last minute, show up late, or leave you hanging for days before replying. There’s always an excuse, but rarely any real accountability. Eventually, it stops feeling like poor planning, and starts to feel like disrespect. Being consistently flaky is a form of inconsideration. If they wanted to prioritise you, they would. Your time isn’t disposable, and love isn’t built on being someone’s afterthought.
13. The one who drains your energy
You always leave conversations with them feeling tired, tense, or slightly off. They may not do anything overtly awful—but everything feels heavier when they’re around. Your joy gets dimmed. Your spark, dulled. Some people just aren’t good for your nervous system. If being around someone constantly wears you out, pay attention. Compatibility isn’t just about attraction—it’s also about energy.
14. The control freak
This person might seem charming or protective at first—but slowly, they start making decisions for you. What you wear, who you hang out with, how you spend your time—it all gets quietly managed. It doesn’t have to be loud to be controlling. Sometimes it comes in the form of passive-aggressive comments or subtle guilt. Either way, it’s not love. It’s power disguised as concern.
15. The one who makes you doubt yourself
They question your choices, downplay your emotions, or tease you in ways that don’t feel playful. Little by little, your confidence disappears. You start second-guessing things you used to feel sure about. Being with someone who chips away at your self-trust isn’t a quirk—it’s a sign to run. The right partner won’t make you smaller to feel bigger. They’ll help you grow into more of who you already are.
