Whether or not you agree with someone’s feelings, it’s still important to show a bit of empathy.
If you’ve never walked in their shoes, you can’t understand what they’re going through. However, you should be able to imagine how you might feel, and extend care, kindness, and sympathy. Sadly, some people lack this valuable quality, and it’s never clearer than when you hear these terrible things coming out of their mouths.
1. “Stop being dramatic, it’s just a dog.”
For many of us, our animals aren’t just pets, they’re actual members of the family. You know what’s worse than losing a pet? Having someone dismiss that bond as meaningless. People who say this don’t just lack empathy for animals — they fundamentally don’t understand how human attachment works. When someone dismisses pet grief, they’re telling you exactly how they view emotional connections in general.
2. “Have you tried not thinking about it?”
Picture dealing with intrusive thoughts about a medical diagnosis, and someone drops this gem on you. As if your brain has a magical off switch you forgot about. This phrase pops up when someone is so removed from understanding mental processes that they think thoughts are like TV channels you can just flip away from. It reveals a stunning lack of awareness about how human minds actually work.
3. “Well, looks like someone needs attention today.”
I heard a parent say this to their teenager who was trying to talk about feeling isolated at school. Nothing says, “I don’t take your emotions seriously” quite like reducing genuine pain to attention-seeking. This phrase is particularly toxic because it teaches people to doubt their own legitimate need for connection. Anyone who uses it is advertising their own emotional immaturity.
4. “You’ll change your mind about kids when you’re older.”
A relative dropped this bomb during a holiday dinner when my friend mentioned not wanting children. It’s fascinating how some people think they know your life path better than you do. This dismissive response shows zero respect for personal autonomy and life choices. When someone says this, they’re really saying they can’t imagine a life journey different from their own.
5. “Maybe if you weren’t so negative, bad things wouldn’t happen to you.”
My sister’s colleague actually said this to her after she got laid off during a company restructuring. The magical thinking here is almost impressive — as if someone’s attitude controls corporate decisions or life events. Plus, toxic positivity reveals a person who’s deeply uncomfortable with reality and probably blames other people for their own struggles too.
6. “It’s probably because you’re always on your phone.”
Imagine a parent dismissing their kid’s depression with this line, reducing complex mental health to screen time. It’s an oversimplification that shows someone who’d rather find a quick blame target than understand deeper issues. It’s the modern version of “it’s all in your head” — equally dismissive, just with updated technology.
7. “Everyone’s got anxiety these days, it’s trendy.”
I actually overheard this at a coffee shop when someone was sharing about their panic attacks. Nothing says, “I lack basic human understanding” quite like treating mental health challenges as fashion statements. This response reveals someone who confuses increased awareness with increased occurrence, showing both ignorance and dismissiveness in one neat package.
8. “Just wait until you have real problems.”
This is a classic that people say to young people to write off their concerns as trivial or no big deal. Beyond the obvious condescension, it reveals someone who thinks suffering is a competition they’re winning. It shows they’ve completely forgotten what it’s like to face new challenges, and they’re probably the type to make everyone else’s problems about themselves.
9. “You’re too young to be tired.”
This gem often comes from older colleagues when younger ones mention exhaustion or burnout. It’s a bizarre gatekeeping of basic human experiences, as if fatigue checks ID before settling in. People who say this aren’t just dismissing other people’s experiences — they’re actively promoting the toxic idea that suffering is somehow earned through age.
10. “I didn’t ask for your life story.”
You try to explain why you can’t make it to an event you RSVP’d to before, and you hear this in return. Lovely. It’s the verbal equivalent of slamming a door in someone’s face mid-sentence. This sharp shutdown reveals someone who views relationships as transactional and doesn’t value the context behind people’s decisions.
11. “Crying is manipulation.”
This ice-cold take might come from someone watching their friend tear up during a difficult conversation. It shows a person who’s so disconnected from their own emotions that they view all emotional expression as strategic. When someone says this, they’re telling you they’ve probably never felt safe enough to be vulnerable themselves.
12. “You chose to be offended.”
A classic line from someone who just made an insensitive joke about disabilities, race, sexuality… the list goes on. This phrase reveals someone who thinks emotions are completely rational choices, like picking out breakfast cereal. It shows a fundamental misunderstanding of how human feelings work, while conveniently absolving themselves of any responsibility.
13. “That wouldn’t bother me at all.”
I mean, good for you? The stunning lack of awareness that different people have different emotional responses is almost impressive. Clearly, this only comes from someone who thinks their emotional response is the universal standard for human experience.
14. “You’ll thank me later for being harsh.”
Constructive criticism can be a good thing, but there’s a thin line between genuine feedback meant to help and needless harsh criticism. It’s the battle cry of people who confuse cruelty with honesty. When someone says this, they’re telling you they value their own judgement over your emotional health, while trying to frame their lack of kindness as a gift.
15. “It’s not personal, it’s just business.”
Heard this from a team lead right after they threw their colleague under the bus in a meeting one time. This phrase is the corporate equivalent of “I’m not racist, but…” —it’s always followed by something deeply personal. It reveals someone who thinks adding a disclaimer somehow erases the human impact of their actions.
