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Getty Images/iStockphotoHave you ever met someone who seems to have an unshakeable calm, even in the face of frustration or annoyance?
They rarely raise their voices, lose their temper, or get into heated arguments. While some might chalk it up to good luck or an easygoing personality, there might be more to their composure than meets the eye. Here are some of the unusual habits these perpetually calm people often practice, which should shed a bit of light on their unique approaches to managing their feelings and dealing with the tough stuff in life.
1. They pause before responding.
Instead of reacting impulsively to a situation, they take a moment to breathe, gather their thoughts, and consider their response. This pause allows them to avoid saying something they might regret and choose their words carefully. This pause can be as simple as counting to ten or taking a few deep breaths. By taking this time, they gain a sense of control over their emotions and are less likely to lash out in anger.
2. They practice mindfulness and meditation.
Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. Meditation, on the other hand, is a practice that helps cultivate mindfulness. Both of these techniques can help people become more aware of their emotions and physical sensations, allowing them to respond to triggers in a more measured way. By incorporating mindfulness and meditation into their daily routine, these people cultivate a sense of inner peace that helps them remain calm in the face of adversity.
3. They focus on solutions, not problems.
Rather than dwelling on what’s wrong or who’s to blame, they channel their energy into finding solutions. This proactive approach prevents them from getting bogged down in negativity and helps them maintain a positive outlook. This habit also creates a sense of empowerment and agency, as they believe they can actively influence the outcome of a situation rather than being passive victims of circumstance.
4. They see the bigger picture.
They understand that minor setbacks or frustrations are just a small part of life’s grand tapestry. By focusing on the broader context, they avoid getting caught up in trivial matters and maintain perspective. This ability to zoom out and see the bigger picture helps them maintain a sense of proportion and avoid overreacting to minor inconveniences.
5. They have a strong sense of self-awareness.
They understand their triggers, their emotional patterns, and their personal values. This self-awareness allows them to anticipate and manage their reactions in potentially stressful situations. They can identify when they’re starting to feel agitated and take steps to de-escalate the situation before it spirals out of control.
6. They have healthy coping mechanisms.
They have a toolbox of strategies for dealing with stress, anger, and frustration. These might include exercise, spending time in nature, journaling, creative pursuits, or talking to a trusted friend or therapist. By having a variety of coping mechanisms at their disposal, they can choose the most effective approach for each situation.
7. They practice empathy and compassion.
They try to understand people’s perspectives and motivations, even when they disagree with them. This empathy helps them see situations from multiple angles and avoid making snap judgments. By cultivating compassion, they also develop a greater capacity for forgiveness, both towards themselves and everyone around them, which helps them let go of anger and resentment.
8. They set healthy boundaries.
They understand their limits and aren’t afraid to say no when necessary. By setting clear boundaries, they protect themselves from being overwhelmed or taken advantage of. This also allows them to maintain healthy relationships and avoid situations that might trigger anger or frustration.
9. They cultivate a sense of gratitude.
They regularly take time to appreciate the good things in their lives, big and small. This practice helps them focus on the positive and avoid dwelling on negativity. By cultivating gratitude, they create a buffer against anger and frustration, as they are constantly reminded of the blessings in their lives.
10. They practice self-care.
They prioritise their physical and emotional well-being, ensuring they get enough sleep, eat nutritious food, and engage in activities that bring them joy. This self-care routine helps them maintain a stable mood and reduce stress, making them less susceptible to anger triggers.
11. They surround themselves with positive people.
They choose to spend their time with people who uplift and support them, rather than those who bring them down. This positive social circle reinforces their calm demeanour and provides a safe space to express their feelings without fear of judgment or criticism.
12. They have a growth mindset.
They view challenges and setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth, rather than as reasons to get angry. This mindset allows them to approach difficulties with curiosity and resilience, rather than with frustration and despair. It also helps them cultivate a sense of optimism and a belief in their own ability to overcome obstacles.
13. They practice forgiveness.
They understand that holding onto anger and resentment is toxic and can harm both themselves and their relationships. They choose to forgive those who have wronged them, not for the sake of the other person, but for their own peace of mind. This doesn’t mean they condone the hurtful behaviour, but it does mean they release themselves from the burden of negativity.
14. They have a sense of humour.
They can laugh at themselves and find humour in everyday situations. This ability to see the lighter side of life helps them defuse tension and maintain a positive outlook. Laughter also releases endorphins, which have mood-boosting and stress-reducing effects.
15. They choose their battles wisely.
They understand that not every issue is worth getting upset over. They prioritise their energy and focus on the things that truly matter to them, rather than wasting it on petty disagreements or minor annoyances. This selective approach to conflict helps them maintain their composure and avoid unnecessary stress.
