By Everybody bends the truth once in a while, but when lying becomes a habit, it can be a serious problem.
Honesty really is the best policy more often than not — yes, even when not being truthful would be easier and less awkward. If you’re looking to break free from the fibbing cycle, here’s how to start being a bit more straightforward.
1. Figure out why you’re lying in the first place.
Are you trying to avoid conflict? Impress people? Understanding your motivations is the first step to changing the behaviour. You might even discover that you’re lying about things that don’t even matter.
2. Start small and build up your honesty muscles.
Don’t expect to become totally truthful overnight. Begin with little things, like admitting you forgot to do a chore, and work your way up. Especially if you know that the lie is pointless, focus on telling the truth instead.
3. Think about the consequences before you fib.
Sure, lying might seem easier in the moment, but consider how you’ll feel later. Guilt can be a real mood killer, and when you realise that you can avoid it altogether by just being upfront, it becomes a lot easier to do so.
4. Practise saying “I don’t know” when you actually don’t know.
It’s okay not to have all the answers. People respect honesty more than made-up expertise. Don’t just start talking out of your backside to save face — admit you don’t know, and people will respect you more for it.
5. Remember that the truth usually comes out anyway.
Lies have a way of unravelling. Save yourself the stress and embarrassment by being upfront from the start. You don’t want people to feel like they can’t trust you, so don’t give them a reason to.
6. Give yourself time to respond in tricky situations.
If you feel pressured to lie, take a breath and say you need a moment to think. It’s better than blurting out a fib. Giving yourself a second to think clearly might make it easier to be straightforward.
7. Surround yourself with honest people.
Hang out with friends who value honesty. Their good habits might rub off on you. You are who you spend time with, as they say.
8. Be kind to yourself when you slip up.
If you do tell a lie, don’t beat yourself up. Acknowledge it, learn from it, and try to do better next time.
9. Practise being vulnerable with people you trust.
Often, we lie to protect ourselves. Try opening up to close friends or family about your real thoughts and feelings. If they truly care about you, they’ll be supportive and understanding even if they disagree with your opinions or behaviour.
10. Focus on the positive aspects of telling the truth.
Honesty can lead to deeper connections and self-respect. Not to mention, other people will respect and admire you more because you’re not afraid to be authentic. Remind yourself of these benefits when you’re tempted to lie.
11. Learn to accept criticism gracefully.
Sometimes we lie to avoid negative feedback. Work on taking constructive criticism as a chance to grow, not an attack. If it comes from a good place, it’s meant to help you improve, not tear you down.
12. Find healthier ways to boost your self-esteem.
If you’re lying to impress people, look for genuine ways to feel good about yourself, like developing a new skill or helping other people. After all, they matter more than bulling yourself up about superficial things.
13. Keep an honesty journal to track your progress.
Write down when you’re tempted to lie and when you choose honesty instead. Seeing your improvement can be really motivating.
14. Practise assertiveness to avoid people-pleasing lies.
Learn to say no or disagree politely. It’s better than agreeing to things you don’t want to do and then lying to get out of them. The weight you’ll feel lifted off your shoulders will be worth its weight in gold.
15. Remember that honesty doesn’t mean brutal bluntness.
You can be truthful while still being kind and considerate. It’s all about finding the right words and the right moment.
