When a relationship of any kind ends, the “no contact” rule almost seems like more of a suggestion than a necessity.
After all, you once cared about this person (and hey, maybe you still do), so why wouldn’t you want to keep the door open for communication in the future? While that may work in a small majority of cases, if you notice any of these red flags, you need to block, delete, and avoid all contact with this person for your own sake.
1. They make you feel rubbish about yourself.
You know that feeling when you’re around someone and you just feel… bleh? If hanging out with them leaves you feeling down on yourself, that’s not great. Good people should boost you up, not drag you down. If you’re constantly second-guessing yourself or feeling insecure, it might be time to rethink things.
2. Your boundaries are about as useful as a chocolate teapot.
We all have our limits, but if you’ve told someone what yours are and they keep stomping all over them, that’s not on. It’s like they’re saying your needs don’t matter. Nobody needs that kind of disrespect in their life.
3. The trust is gone, and it’s not coming back.
Trust is huge in any relationship. If it’s been broken by lies or cheating, and you’ve tried to fix it but nothing’s changing, it might be time to face the facts. Without trust, you’re just going through the motions, and who wants that?
4. You’re always on edge around them.
Ever feel like you’re tiptoeing around someone, watching every word in case you set them off? That’s exhausting. If you can’t relax and be yourself around them, what’s the point? Relationships should be comfy, not a constant source of stress.
5. They never own up to their mistakes.
We all mess up sometimes, but if someone can never admit when they’re wrong, that’s a problem. It’s always someone else’s fault, never theirs. This kind of behaviour shows they’re not ready to grow or change. You shouldn’t have to deal with that.
6. Your future plans are totally different.
It’s cool to have your own goals, but if you’re heading in completely opposite directions, that’s tricky. If you’re constantly clashing over big life stuff, it might be a sign that you’re not as compatible as you thought. That’s not to say you can’t speak to someone who wants different things, but if your values are that different, there’s clearly a disconnect.
7. They’re about as reliable as British weather.
If they’re always bailing on plans or showing up late, it’s not just annoying — it’s disrespectful. Your time matters too. If they can’t be bothered to stick to their word, why should you stick around?
8. You don’t feel safe with them.
This one’s extremely serious. If you ever feel physically scared or emotionally messed with, that’s a massive red flag. No relationship is worth risking your safety for. Full stop.
9. It’s all give and no take.
Relationships should be a two-way street. If you’re always the one reaching out, making plans, or offering support, that’s not fair. You deserve someone who puts in as much effort as you do. If it feels one-sided, it probably is.
10. They bring out your worst side.
Ever noticed you act differently around certain people? If someone’s presence makes you behave in ways you’re not proud of, that’s not great. You shouldn’t have to compromise who you are or your values for anyone.
11. Your gut’s telling you to run.
Sometimes you just get a feeling, you know? Even if you can’t put your finger on why, if your instincts are screaming at you to leave, it might be worth listening. Our gut often cottons on to things before our brain does.
12. They’re always trying to change you.
A bit of personal growth is normal, but if someone’s constantly trying to mould you into their ideal version, that’s not cool. You should be appreciated for who you are, not who they want you to be. If they can’t accept you as is, maybe it’s time to find someone who will.
13. Your other relationships are suffering because of them.
If being with this person is causing problems with your friends or family, take note. A good relationship should add to your life, not isolate you from everyone else. If you’re neglecting other important connections, something’s off.
14. They’ve got you doubting your own mind.
Ever had someone make you question your own memories or perceptions? That’s called gaslighting, and it’s not okay. If you’re often left feeling confused about what really happened or doubting your own judgement, that’s a big problem.
15. You’re living in dreamland, not reality.
It’s easy to get caught up in what could be, rather than what is. If you’re always making excuses for their behaviour or waiting for them to change, it might be time to wake up and smell the coffee. Don’t waste your time on potential that never materialises.
