Insecurity can make people behave in some pretty weird ways.
No one wants to admit that their self-esteem is in the gutter, and they’ll go to great lengths to look as if they’re incredibly confident to other people. Here are some things they’ll do to hide their insecurities.
1. They’re constantly seeking approval from other people.
Insecure people often need constant reassurance, so they fish for compliments or repeatedly ask if you’re upset with them. It’s like they’re trying to fill a bottomless pit of self-doubt with external validation.
2. They never express their true opinions.
Rather than risk disagreement, insecure people tend to go along with whatever everyone else thinks. They might nod and agree even when they feel differently inside to avoid any potential conflict or judgement.
3. They’re extremely critical of other people.
Sometimes, insecure people try to boost their own self-esteem by putting other people down. They might gossip or find fault with everyone around them. It’s a misguided attempt to feel better about themselves. (Spoiler alert: It never works!)
4. They struggle to accept compliments gracefully.
When you compliment an insecure person, they often deflect or downplay it. “Oh, this old thing?” or “It was nothing, really” are common responses. They struggle to reconcile kind words with their negative self-image.
5. They’re always apologising.
Constant apologies are a hallmark of insecurity. They say sorry for things that aren’t their fault or aren’t even issues. It’s as if they’re apologising for their very existence.
6. They avoid eye contact in conversations.
Making eye contact can feel incredibly vulnerable when you’re insecure. Some people will look at the ground, their phone, or anywhere but directly at you during a chat. It’s a subtle way of hiding.
7. They’re perfectionists to a fault.
Insecure people often set impossibly high standards for themselves. They might obsess over tiny details or refuse to share their work until it’s “perfect”. Their perfectionism is a shield against any potential criticism.
8. They’re always busy and never slow down.
Keeping an overpacked schedule can be a way for insecure people to avoid their feelings. They fill every moment with activity, never giving themselves time to sit with their thoughts or confront their insecurities.
9. They constantly compare themselves to everyone around them.
Insecure people often measure their worth against other people’s. For example, they constantly check social media, wondering why their life doesn’t look as perfect as everyone else’s highlight reel. Sadly, this comparison game only fuels their insecurity.
10. They use humour to deflect serious conversations.
When conversations get too deep or personal, insecure people tend to crack a joke to lighten the mood. It’s a defence mechanism to avoid vulnerability. They’d rather keep things light than risk exposing their true feelings.
11. They’re overly defensive when receiving feedback.
Constructive criticism can feel like a personal attack to an insecure person. They often become argumentative or sulky when receiving feedback, even if it’s well-intentioned. It’s their insecurity speaking, not their rational mind.
12. They’re reluctant to try new things.
The fear of failure often holds insecure people back from new experiences. They’d rather stick to what they know than risk looking foolish or incompetent. This limits their growth and reinforces their insecurities.
13. They overshare or dominate conversations.
Some insecure people cope by talking… a lot. They might share too much personal information or monopolise conversations. It’s an attempt to control the interaction and keep attention on safe topics.
14. They’re extremely indecisive.
Making decisions can be paralysing for insecure people. They might waffle back and forth, afraid of making the wrong choice. Their indecisiveness stems from a fear of judgement and a lack of trust in their own judgement.
15. They create a false persona.
In extreme cases, insecure people might create an entirely different personality. They present a version of themselves they think others will like, hiding their true selves behind this carefully crafted mask. It’s exhausting to maintain and ultimately unfulfilling.