Toxic people are everywhere, and if you’re not careful, they can wreak havoc on your life.
But the good news is, there are warning signs that can help you spot them before it’s too late. I’m not going to sugar coat it or waste your time with fluffy language. This is straight-up, no-nonsense advice that you need to hear.
1. They’re always the victim.
Toxic people have a way of making everything about them, especially when it comes to playing the victim. No matter what happens, they find a way to spin it so that they’re the one who’s been wronged. They never take responsibility for their own actions or mistakes. Instead, they blame everyone else for their problems. If you find yourself constantly feeling sorry for someone or making excuses for their behaviour, it’s a red flag that they might be toxic.
2. They’re unapologetic manipulators.
Toxic people are skilled at getting what they want, even if it means manipulating those around them. They know how to push your buttons and play on your emotions to get you to do their bidding. They might use guilt trips, gaslighting, or other psychological tactics to control you. If you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells around someone or doing things you don’t want to do just to keep the peace, it’s a sign that they’re manipulating you.
3. They’re never wrong.
Source: Unsplash In the eyes of a toxic person, they can do no wrong. They’re always right, even when they’re clearly in the wrong. They refuse to apologise or admit fault, no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary. They’ll argue with you until they’re blue in the face, twisting your words and deflecting blame. If you find yourself constantly defending your own thoughts and feelings to someone, it’s a sign that they’re not willing to consider your perspective.
4. They’re energy vampires.
Source: Unsplash Toxic people have a way of sucking the life out of you. They’re always complaining, always negative, and always bringing you down. They feed off your energy and leave you feeling drained and exhausted. If you find yourself dreading interactions with someone or feeling like you need a nap after spending time with them, it’s a sign that they’re an energy vampire. These people are best avoided or kept at a distance.
5. They’re jealous and competitive.
Source: Unsplash Toxic people can’t stand to see others succeed. They’re always comparing themselves to others and trying to one-up them. If you achieve something great, they’ll find a way to downplay it or make it about themselves. They might even try to sabotage your success or undermine your confidence. If someone can’t genuinely celebrate your wins or support your goals, it’s a sign that they’re too jealous and competitive to be a true friend.
6. They’re always gossiping.
Source: Unsplash Toxic people love to talk about others behind their backs. They’re always dishing dirt and spreading rumours, even about their supposed friends. They take pleasure in other people’s misfortunes and can’t resist the urge to gossip. If someone is always telling you negative stories about others or sharing private information that they shouldn’t, it’s a sign that they’re not trustworthy. If they’re talking about others to you, they’re probably talking about you to others.
7. They’re inconsistent and unreliable.
Toxic people are often flaky and unreliable. They make plans with you and then cancel at the last minute. They say they’ll do something and then never follow through. They’re always running late or forgetting important details. If you can’t count on someone to keep their word or show up when they say they will, it’s a sign that they don’t respect your time or your feelings. You deserve better than someone who constantly lets you down.
8. They’re always drama magnets.
Toxic people seem to attract drama wherever they go. They’re always in the middle of some crisis or conflict, often of their own making. They thrive on chaos and seem to enjoy stirring the pot. If you find yourself constantly getting sucked into someone else’s drama or feeling like you’re always putting out fires, it’s a sign that they’re a drama magnet. These people are best kept at arm’s length, or you’ll get dragged down with them.
9. They’re never happy for you.
Source: Brooke Cagle/Unsplash When something good happens to you, a true friend will be thrilled for you. They’ll celebrate your successes and cheer you on. But toxic people can’t bring themselves to be happy for others. They might give you a half-hearted congratulations, but then quickly change the subject back to themselves. Or they might find a way to downplay your accomplishments or make you feel guilty for your success. If someone can’t genuinely share in your joy, they’re not a real friend.
10. They’re always putting you down.
Source: Unsplash Toxic people have a way of making you feel small and insignificant. They’re always criticising you, pointing out your flaws, and making jokes at your expense. They might disguise their insults as “constructive criticism” or “tough love,” but their words are designed to tear you down, not build you up. If someone is constantly making you feel bad about yourself, it’s a sign that they’re toxic and not worth your time or energy.
11. They’re always crossing boundaries.
Toxic people have no respect for your boundaries. They’ll invade your personal space, ask inappropriate questions, and push you to do things you’re not comfortable with. They might show up at your house unannounced, go through your personal belongings, or pressure you into sharing secrets you’d rather keep private. If someone consistently disregards your boundaries and makes you feel violated or disrespected, it’s a big red flag that they’re toxic.
12. They’re always threatening to leave.
Toxic people often use the threat of abandonment to control those around them. They’ll say things like “I can’t be friends with you if you don’t do what I want” or “I’ll break up with you if you don’t change.” They make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells to keep them in your life. But true friends and partners don’t use the fear of losing them as a weapon. If someone is always holding your relationship hostage, it’s a sign that they’re manipulating you.
13. They never apologise or take responsibility.
Toxic people have a hard time admitting when they’re wrong. They’ll make excuses, blame others, or simply refuse to acknowledge their mistakes. Even when they do apologise, it often feels insincere or comes with a “but” attached. “I’m sorry, but you made me do it.” If someone can’t take genuine responsibility for their actions or offer a heartfelt apology when they’ve hurt you, it’s a sign that they lack empathy and accountability.
14. They’re always keeping score.
Toxic people often view relationships as transactional. They keep a mental tally of every favour they’ve done for you and every perceived slight against them. They’ll bring up past grievances and use them as ammunition in fights. They make you feel like you’re constantly in debt to them and can never do enough to even the score. If someone is always keeping score and making you feel guilty, it’s a sign that they’re not interested in a genuine, give-and-take relationship.
15. Your gut tells you something is off.
Source: Unsplash Finally, one of the most important signs of a toxic person is your own intuition. If you constantly feel uneasy, drained, or on edge around someone, there’s probably a reason. Trust your gut instincts, even if you can’t put your finger on exactly what’s wrong. Your subconscious mind picks up on warning signs that your conscious mind might overlook. If your intuition is telling you that someone is toxic, it’s best to listen and take steps to protect yourself.
