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Getty Images/iStockphotoYou’re in a conversation where you’re nodding along, but secretly your mind is screaming for an escape route.
Sometimes, it’s not just the topic that’s dull, it’s the conversationalist themselves. They might be using phrases that are so overused and predictable, they practically suck the life out of any interaction. So, what are these conversational black holes? Here are some common phrases that only bad conversationalists use, and how you can avoid them to keep your conversations lively and engaging.
1. “How about this weather, huh?”
Source: Unsplash It’s the classic opener that screams, “I have nothing interesting to say.” While weather can be a starting point for a conversation, it rarely leads to anything meaningful. Instead, try asking open-ended questions that invite deeper conversation, like “What’s been the highlight of your week?” or “What’s something interesting you’ve learned recently?”
2. “So, what do you do?”
While this might seem like a harmless question, it can be quite limiting and put people in a box. Not everyone defines themselves by their job, and it can quickly lead to a one-sided conversation about work. Instead, try asking about their passions, interests, or hobbies to spark a more engaging conversation.
3. “I know, right?”
This phrase might seem like a way to show agreement, but it can actually come across as dismissive and unoriginal. Instead of parroting back what someone else said, try offering your own thoughts and opinions. This shows that you’re actually listening and engaged in the conversation.
4. “I’m so tired.”
While we all get tired, constantly complaining about it doesn’t make for scintillating conversation. It can make you seem negative and drain the energy out of the room. Instead, try to focus on positive topics or share something interesting you’re looking forward to.
5. “That’s crazy!”
This overused phrase can be a conversation killer. It’s a lazy way of reacting to someone’s story or opinion without adding anything of substance. Instead, try to be more specific in your responses and ask follow-up questions to show that you’re genuinely interested.
6. “I’m not really a [insert topic] person.”
This statement shuts down any potential for further discussion on a topic. It can make you seem closed-minded and uninterested in learning new things. Instead, try to be open to new experiences and perspectives, even if they’re not your usual cup of tea.
7. “I hate drama.”
While nobody likes unnecessary drama, this phrase can be used to avoid dealing with real emotions and conflict. Healthy relationships involve open communication and addressing issues as they arise. If you’re constantly avoiding conflict, it can lead to resentment and unresolved issues down the line.
8. “That’s so random.”
This dismissive phrase can make people feel like their thoughts or ideas aren’t valid or worth discussing. It can also shut down creativity and spontaneity in conversations. Instead, try to embrace randomness and see where it leads. You might be surprised at the interesting tangents and connections that arise.
9. “I’m not really a people person.”
This might be true for some, but using it as an excuse to avoid social interaction or dismiss someone’s attempts to connect can be off-putting. Instead, try being more open to meeting new people and finding common ground. You might be surprised at how much you enjoy their company.
10. “I’m just being honest.”
Honesty is important, but there’s a difference between being honest and being blunt or hurtful. If you’re constantly using “honesty” as a shield for rude or insensitive comments, it can damage your relationships. Consider the impact your words might have on other people before speaking, and try to deliver your message with tact and compassion.
11. “That’s what she said.”
This tired and juvenile joke is rarely funny and often makes people uncomfortable. It’s a lazy attempt at humour that relies on innuendo and sexual references. If you want to make people laugh, try to be more original and creative with your jokes.
12. “I’m so OCD.”
Using mental health conditions as a casual descriptor for your personality is insensitive and dismissive of those who actually struggle with them. If you’re simply organised or detail-oriented, say so. Don’t trivialise serious conditions for the sake of conversation.
13. “I’m not political.”
While you might not be interested in politics, using this phrase to avoid discussing important social or political issues can be seen as apathetic or ignorant. It’s important to be informed about current events and to engage in respectful dialogue, even if you don’t agree with someone else’s views.
14. “Whatever.”
This one-word response is the ultimate conversation killer. It conveys disinterest, apathy, and a lack of respect for the other person’s thoughts or feelings. If you’re not interested in the conversation, politely excuse yourself or try to steer it in a different direction. But avoid this dismissive phrase at all costs.
15. “I’m not really a morning person.”
We all have our preferences when it comes to sleep schedules, but using this as an excuse for being grumpy or unproductive is not endearing. If you’re not a morning person, own it and find ways to make the most of your mornings. But don’t use it as an excuse for negativity or a lack of effort.
16. “My life is a mess.”
While it’s okay to vent occasionally, constantly dwelling on your problems and negativity can be a major downer for those around you. It can also make you seem like you’re not taking responsibility for your own life. If you’re struggling, try to focus on solutions and get some help from the people in your life you’re closest to or even a mental health professional. Either way, don’t make negativity your default conversation starter.
