You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea in life — that’s just the way it goes.
However, if you’ve taken a shine to someone or can’t bear the idea of a particular person not being able to stand you, it’s natural to want to get them on side. You don’t need to change who you are, or go overboard sucking up to them. Instead, do these things, and you might find their attitude toward you change. If it doesn’t, it might be time to admit it’s their loss and move on.
1. Show real interest in them.
People love to feel seen and heard. If someone doesn’t like you, take a moment to ask about their interests or opinions — and really listen to what they say. This subtle shift makes them feel respected, and they may start to see you in a different light. Sometimes, showing interest is the key to unlocking better vibes.
2. Avoid being defensive.
If you sense someone’s dislike, it’s easy to go on the defensive or snap back. But defensiveness can make things worse. Instead, stay calm, keep things light, and don’t rise to any bait. By refusing to play into negativity, you show maturity and self-assurance, which can slowly earn their respect.
3. Give them a sincere compliment.
A well-timed, genuine compliment can work wonders. It doesn’t have to be over the top — a simple, “I really liked your presentation” or “That was a great idea” can open doors. Compliments show you’re willing to see the good in them, and this can soften their stance towards you.
4. Find common ground.
Even people who don’t click usually share some interests. Whether it’s a love of coffee, pets, or a particular TV show, finding that commonality can help bridge the gap. Shared interests can turn awkward silences into moments of connection. It’s hard to dislike someone who enjoys the same things you do.
5. Apologise if necessary.
If there’s a clear reason for their dislike — maybe an old misunderstanding or an offhand comment — a sincere apology can work wonders. A simple “I’m sorry if I upset you, that wasn’t my intention” shows you’re willing to take responsibility. It can clear the air and pave the way for a fresh start.
6. Be consistently kind.
Sometimes, kindness is the best strategy. If they expect you to be rude or dismissive, surprise them with consistent politeness and warmth. Over time, it’s hard to keep disliking someone who treats you kindly. Even small gestures like holding the door or offering help can chip away at their walls.
7. Respect their boundaries.
If they seem standoffish, don’t push too hard to win them over. Respecting their space shows emotional intelligence. Sometimes, people just need time to warm up. By giving them space while still being friendly, you show you’re considerate and not desperate for their approval.
8. Avoid gossiping about them.
Talking behind their back, even if you’re frustrated, will only confirm their negative feelings. Instead, stay above the drama. If they hear you’ve been neutral or even positive about them, it can challenge their assumptions. Being the bigger person always leaves a good impression.
9. Offer to help them out.
Offering assistance — whether it’s lending a hand on a project or sharing a resource — shows goodwill. It proves you’re not out to get them and genuinely want to help. Even a small act of help can break down barriers and build trust.
10. Don’t try too hard.
Overcompensating can backfire and make things more awkward. Instead of bending over backwards for their approval, just be yourself. Relaxed authenticity is far more appealing than trying to impress. People tend to warm up when they see you’re comfortable in your own skin.
11. Use humour to lighten the mood.
A bit of banter or a good joke can break the tension and make you more approachable. Self-deprecating jokes or hilarious observations show you don’t take yourself too seriously. Laughter breaks down walls faster than serious conversations ever could. Just keep it light — no sarcasm or barbs.
12. Acknowledge their strengths.
Sometimes, people dislike you because they feel undervalued. Acknowledge their skills or contributions, like, “You have a great eye for detail” or “I admire how organised you are.” Genuine recognition can dissolve underlying resentment and create mutual respect.
13. Keep your cool during disagreements.
If tensions flare up, staying calm and collected speaks volumes. Avoid snapping or getting drawn into petty arguments. When you handle disagreements with grace, it shows you’re level-headed and mature. This can slowly earn their respect, even if they don’t admit it.
14. Show consistency over time.
Winning someone over isn’t a one-off effort; it’s about consistent, respectful behaviour. If you’re patient and steady, they might eventually let go of their initial impression. Being dependable and trustworthy makes it hard for other people to continue to dislike you.
15. Let them get to know the real you.
Sometimes, people dislike what they think you are, not who you actually are. Give them glimpses of your true personality and values. Maybe they’ve misjudged you. By being open and authentic, you give them a chance to see your positive qualities.
16. Accept that you can’t win everyone over.
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, someone just won’t budge. That’s okay. Not everyone is meant to get along. Focus on being the best version of yourself and remember that their dislike says more about them than it does about you. Knowing when to let go is its own kind of victory.
