We’re all guilty of unintentionally rubbing people the wrong way now and then — don’t beat yourself up over it.
However, it’s not enough to say, “Oh well!” and forget it. If you’re guilty of certain behaviours that make people feel belittled, dismissed, or disrespected, you need to reevaluate your behaviour and make a change. Here are some things most people won’t take too kindly to, just FYI.
1. You’re always glued to your phone during conversations.
It’s like you care more about your favourite Instagram influencer than you do about the person right in front of you. Doing this is guaranteed to make the other person feel about as important as yesterday’s news. Try popping that phone on silent and giving the person in front of you your full attention. They’ll appreciate it, and you might even enjoy the conversation more!
2. You have a habit of interrupting people mid-sentence.
It’s great that you’re so excited to share your thoughts, but hold your horses. Cutting someone off mid-sentence is like slamming a door in their face. It sends the message that what you have to say is more important than what they’re sharing. Instead, try taking a deep breath and waiting for a natural pause. Your turn will come, and the other person will feel heard and respected.
3. You’re chronically late to meetings and appointments.
While you might think running late yet again is no big deal, consistently showing up late is like telling everyone their time isn’t valuable and that your schedule is more important (neither of which are true). Try setting your clock a few minutes fast or giving yourself extra travel time. If everyone else can make it on time, so can you.
4. You’re always sarcastic and make jokes at other people’s expense.
What seems like harmless banter to you might be incredibly insulting to someone else, especially if you don’t know them that well or don’t have that kind of relationship. It’s like walking around with a pin, randomly popping people’s balloons. Instead, try focusing your humour on situations rather than people. It’s just as fun, and no one ends up feeling like the butt of the joke.
5. You regularly cancel plans at the last minute.
Life happens, of course, but if you’re constantly bailing on plans at the eleventh hour, you’re basically telling your mates that they’re your backup option. Try to stick to your commitments more often. If you really can’t make it, give as much notice as possible and offer to reschedule. Your friends will appreciate your reliability.
6. You have a tendency to dominate conversations.
If you’re hogging the conversation like it’s the last biscuit in the tin, you might be coming across as a bit of a conversation bully. Try to make your chats more of a tennis match — a bit of back and forth. Ask questions, listen to the answers, and give other people a chance to shine.
7. You dismiss or belittle other people’s opinions.
You might know best (or think you do), but brushing off someone else’s view is like telling them their thoughts are rubbish. It’s the conversational equivalent of an eye-roll. Even if you disagree, try validating their perspective. You don’t have to agree, but showing that you’ve heard and considered their opinion goes a long way.
8. You have a habit of not following through on your promises.
Always saying you’ll do something but rarely delivering is a fast track to becoming as reliable as a chocolate teapot. When you consistently break promises, you’re building a reputation out of let-downs. Start being more mindful about what you commit to. If you say you’ll do something, do your best to follow through. Your word will start to mean something again, and people will respect you for it.
9. You often use your phone or other devices during meals.
Scrolling through your feed while out for meals with people is incredibly impolite. It sends the message that whatever’s on your screen is more appetising than the company around you. Try making mealtimes a device-free zone. Focus on the food and the people around you. Don’t let your real life pass you by while you’re living vicariously through your phone.
10. You gossip and speak badly about people behind their backs.
Gossip might seem harmless, but chatting about people behind their backs is like digging a social grave for yourself. It makes people wonder what you say about them when they’re not around. Try to nip this habit in the bud. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, it’s probably best not to say it at all. Your relationships will be stronger for it.
11. You often use offensive language without considering your audience.
There’s nothing wrong with having a bit of a colourful vocabulary, but not everyone appreciates a good swear. Using strong language without thinking about who’s around can make people uncomfortable and come across as disrespectful. Try to be more aware of your surroundings and adjust your language accordingly. You’ll be seen as more considerate and professional.
12. You’re bad at respecting people’s personal space.
Are you a close talker or a frequent toucher? While you might be comfortable with it, not everyone shares your fondness for proximity. Invading someone’s personal bubble is like barging into their house uninvited. It can make people feel uncomfortable and disrespected. Try to be more aware of physical boundaries. Give people their space unless invited to do otherwise.
13. You often ignore or dismiss people’s boundaries.
Ignoring someone’s clearly stated limits shows a lack of respect for their comfort and autonomy. Start paying attention when people express their boundaries, whether they’re about personal space, topics of conversation, or anything else. Respecting these limits will make you a much more considerate and respected person.
14. You’re always trying to one-up people in conversations.
While you might think you’re adding to the conversation, constantly trying to outdo everyone turns every chat into a competition. It can make people feel like their experiences are being devalued. Instead of trying to top every tale, try showing interest in what other people are sharing. Ask questions, show empathy. You’ll find people enjoy talking to you much more when they don’t feel like they’re in a verbal arm-wrestling match.
15. You don’t acknowledge or thank people for their efforts.
Forgetting to say “thank you” might seem small, but never acknowledging other people’s efforts can make them feel underappreciated and taken for granted. Start making a conscious effort to notice and thank people for the things they do, no matter how small. It’s really not that hard!
16. You have a habit of making assumptions about people without getting to know them.
While first impressions can be powerful, making snap judgments about people is akin to reading a book by its cover — you miss out on the whole story. It can come across as narrow-minded and disrespectful. Try to approach people with an open mind, asking questions and genuinely listening to their responses. You might be surprised by what you learn, and people will appreciate your willingness to see beyond surface-level assumptions.
