There are certain little white lies that slip out way too easily. We tell them to avoid drama or conflict, spare feelings, or maybe make ourselves seem better than we are. Here are some of the most common fibs we all toss around and why cutting them out leads to more genuine connections.
1. “I’m fine.”
This is a classic cover-up when we’re feeling anything but fine. We use this to avoid emotional vulnerability, not wanting to burden people, or simply not knowing how to express what we’re actually feeling. The problem is, bottling up emotions takes a toll. Instead, try being honest (even a little bit) with someone you trust, by being honest when you’re having a bad day. You’d be surprised how refreshing this can be.
2. “I’m just so busy!”
Sometimes this is true, but often it’s code for “I don’t want to hang out/help you/go to that thing.” The problem is that when you use it excessively, it becomes a way to avoid things we don’t prioritize. A more honest approach would be to say something like, “That sounds fun, but I’m overcommitted right now, could we reschedule?” Or, “Honestly, I don’t have the bandwidth for that at the moment.” Owning your choices might be scary, but it’s actually kind of empowering.
3. “I love your new haircut/outfit/weird art project!”
Protecting people’s feelings is kind, but blatant dishonesty isn’t helpful, Verywell Mind notes. If your friend genuinely seeks your opinion, offer constructive feedback or focus on a positive aspect: “That colour is amazing on you!” If they’re just excitedly showing off something they love, a simple, “So glad you’re rocking something that makes you happy!” is enough without faking enthusiasm.
4. “I totally get how you feel.”
Source: Pexels Empathy is awesome, but pretending to fully understand someone else’s unique experience invalidates their feelings. Even if you’ve been through something similar, everyone processes things differently. Instead, try: “That sounds really hard, I’m here to listen if you want to talk about it,” or “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I want to support you.”
5. “I’ll start that diet/workout plan/project tomorrow.”
This is the lie we mostly tell ourselves. Procrastination dressed up as good intentions. Whether fear of failure, self-sabotage, or just not truly being ready for change, faking the start date doesn’t get us any closer to our goals. Be real with yourself about why you’re resisting, then either commit to a small step or admit you’re not ready yet – then ditch the guilt!
6. “No worries!”
We say this when, actually, we kind of are bothered. It’s often about minimizing our own needs to avoid rocking the boat. Being accommodating is great to a point, but constantly dismissing your own feelings leads to resentment. Find a polite way to express that something matters, even if small: “Would it be possible to try it this way instead?” or, “It’ll only take me a few extra minutes to do it like this, and will save me a headache later.”
7. “I’m on my way!” (When you haven’t even left the house)
Source: Unsplash We all run late sometimes, but pretending you’re closer than you are just causes more stress in the long run. Rather than the vague lie, be honest and give a realistic ETA: “Running behind, should be there in 20 minutes!” People appreciate honesty way more than getting their hopes up with fibs that only make you seem flakier when you inevitably don’t arrive on time.
8. Exaggerations to make our stories sound better.
The fish that got bigger with each retelling, the traffic jam that was way worse than reality — we embellish to impress to entertain, or sometimes because the mundane truth feels boring. The problem is, it becomes a slippery slope. When do little exaggerations cross into outright lies? A captivating story doesn’t need to be inflated to be interesting!
9. “I’m not that into social media/reality TV/pop music.”
Source: Unsplash This is a lie of superiority! It’s okay to have guilty pleasures, even trashy ones. Pretending you’re above it all just makes you seem judgmental and less relatable. Own what brings you mindless joy, even if it’s lowbrow. There’s no shame in finding light-hearted entertainment to de-stress after a long day!
10. “Money doesn’t matter.”
Source: Unsplash Of course, it does! While money doesn’t equal happiness, pretending financial stability isn’t important is unrealistic. It affects relationships, life choices, and overall well-being. Saying this is often a defence mechanism to deflect feelings of insecurity about our own finances. Instead of downplaying the role of money, be honest about your goals and work towards financial security in a healthy way.
11. “I don’t care what other people think.”
To an extent, this is a great mindset! But completely denying we crave any social validation is a stretch. We’re social creatures; it’s natural to care, at least a little, about how we’re perceived. It’s more about finding a balance – not letting the opinions of others derail you but recognizing the power of healthy, supportive relationships and acknowledging those feelings without shame.
12. Faking expertise on a topic you know nothing about.
Source: Unsplash The temptation to seem knowledgeable is real, especially in professional or social settings. But pretending to understand something rather than admitting you don’t can backfire spectacularly. Far better to say, “I’m not familiar with that, could you tell me more?” People respect honesty and a willingness to learn more than a facade of fake knowledge.
13. “I read/watched/listened to that thing you recommended!”
Source: Unsplash Trying to spare your friend’s feelings when you actually hated their book suggestion, got bored by the podcast, or couldn’t get through that album just leads to awkwardness later. Instead, be upfront: “Started it, but wasn’t really my style!” or “Didn’t have time yet, but it’s on my list!” Honesty lets them recommend something you’d actually enjoy more.
14. “I never gossip!”
Source: Unsplash Come on, everyone dishes a little dirt sometimes! Denying you ever indulge is hypocritical and makes you seem judgey about those who do fess up to a bit of harmless gossip. There’s a difference between malicious rumours and light-hearted “did you hear…” chatter. Owning that you occasionally like to spill a little tea is more relatable than pretending you’re above it all.
15. “I didn’t see your message!”
Source: Unsplash Sometimes true, often a cover to avoid the conversation you were dreading. The occasional delay is understandable, but constantly playing the “missed it!” card makes you seem unreliable. Just admit you saw it and weren’t in the mood to respond right then. Better yet, own your procrastination: “Saw this, needed a minute to think about my response, can we chat about it later?”
16. “Of course, I remember you!” (When you absolutely don’t.)
Source: Unsplash Awkward social situations sometimes necessitate this fib. But instead of pretending total recall, try a polite dodge: “So great to see you again! Forgive me, what was your name?” Far less awkward than getting caught faking your way through a conversation with someone you clearly don’t remember.
