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Relationships aren’t always sunshine and rainbows, and sometimes, things just aren’t working out. If you’re wondering if your man is unhappy in your marriage, there are some signs you can look for. Remember, this isn’t about blaming anyone, it’s about recognising when something’s not right so you can address it.

1. He’s constantly critical and negative.

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It’s one thing to have an off day, but if he’s constantly nitpicking, complaining, or putting you down, that’s a red flag. His unhappiness might be leaking out as negativity directed towards you, your choices, or your life together. A happy husband is generally supportive and encouraging, not a constant source of criticism.

2. He withdraws emotionally and physically.

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If he’s shutting down emotionally, not sharing his feelings, or avoiding intimacy, it could be a sign that he’s unhappy. This withdrawal might also show up physically, with less affection, touch, or interest in sex. It’s like he’s putting up a wall, and that’s never a good sign in a marriage.

3. He’s lost interest in shared activities.

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Remember when you used to do things together that you both enjoyed? If he’s suddenly not interested in those shared hobbies or activities, it might be a sign that he’s checked out of the relationship. This could be because he’s feeling resentful, bored, or simply not happy in your company anymore.

4. He seems easily irritated and picks fights.

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If he’s constantly on edge, picking fights over small things, or just generally seems grumpy and irritable, it could be a sign that he’s unhappy in the marriage. Sometimes, pent-up frustration and resentment can manifest as anger and aggression. It’s important to address the underlying issues causing this behaviour, rather than just reacting to the anger itself.

5. He spends more and more time away from home.

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Whether it’s working late, hanging out with friends, or finding excuses to be elsewhere, an unhappy husband might start distancing himself physically from the home and you. This could be his way of avoiding conflict, seeking comfort elsewhere, or simply trying to escape the unhappiness he feels in the marriage.

6. He stops making an effort in the relationship.

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He might stop planning date nights, giving compliments, or doing those little things that used to show he cared. This lack of effort can feel like neglect and can be a sign that he’s no longer invested in the relationship. A happy husband is generally engaged and proactive in making the marriage work.

7. He compares you to other women (or his ex).

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If he’s constantly comparing you to other women, friends, or even his ex, it’s a major red flag. It shows that he’s not happy with you as you are and that he’s idealising someone else. This behaviour is hurtful and disrespectful, and it can knock your self-esteem and create insecurity in the relationship.

8. He makes secretive or suspicious phone calls/texts.

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If he’s suddenly being secretive about his phone, hiding his screen, or getting defensive when you ask who he’s talking to, it’s a major red flag. This could be a sign that he’s emotionally or physically cheating, or at the very least, that he’s not being open and honest with you. Trust is crucial in a marriage, and this behaviour is a serious breach of that trust.

9. He neglects your needs and desires.

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A happy husband considers your needs and wants, making an effort to meet them whenever possible. However, an unhappy man might start to neglect your emotional or physical needs. He might forget important dates, ignore your requests, or simply not make an effort to show you he cares. This can leave you feeling unloved and unappreciated, creating a rift in the relationship.

10. He’s lost his sense of humour.

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Laughter is often the glue that holds couples together during tough times. If your husband has lost his sense of humour, it could be a sign that he’s feeling overwhelmed by the unhappiness in your marriage. He might not find your jokes funny anymore, or he might become easily irritated by your attempts at light-heartedness. A lack of laughter and joy can be a symptom of deeper issues that need to be addressed.

11. He makes major decisions without consulting you.

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Marriage is a partnership, and big decisions should be made together. An unhappy husband might start making major decisions without consulting you, disregarding your opinions and feelings. This could involve career changes, financial decisions, or even life-altering choices like having children. This lack of communication and collaboration can be a sign of disrespect and a lack of consideration for your feelings.

12. He’s always blaming you for his problems.

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A happy husband takes responsibility for his own actions and emotions. However, an unhappy husband might try to shift the blame for his problems onto you. He might accuse you of being the cause of his stress, unhappiness, or failures. This blaming behaviour is not only unfair, but it’s also counterproductive. It creates resentment and prevents you from addressing the real issues underlying his unhappiness.

13. He’s overly critical of your friends and family.

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Your friends and family are an important part of your life, and a happy husband would respect that. However, an unhappy husband might become overly critical of your loved ones, finding fault in everything they do or say. He might try to isolate you from them or make you feel guilty for spending time with them. This behaviour is a red flag, as it shows a lack of respect for your relationships and a desire to control your social circle.

14. He threatens to leave or talks about divorce.

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While every couple has disagreements, using the threat of divorce as a weapon is a manipulative and hurtful tactic. An unhappy husband might frequently threaten to leave or talk about divorce as a way to control you or get his way. This creates a sense of insecurity and instability in the relationship, and it can make you feel trapped and powerless.

15. He avoids intimacy and physical affection.

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Physical intimacy is an important part of a healthy marriage. If your husband is consistently avoiding physical affection, it could be a sign that he’s unhappy or emotionally disconnected from you. He might stop initiating sex, turn down your advances, or simply seem less interested in physical touch. While there could be other reasons for this behaviour, it’s important to communicate with him and try to understand what’s going on.

16. He no longer makes plans for the future with you.

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A happy husband is excited about the future with you and is eager to make plans together. However, an unhappy husband might start avoiding conversations about the future or making plans that don’t include you. He might seem disengaged or uninterested in building a life together. This lack of future-oriented thinking can be a sign that he’s no longer invested in the relationship and is considering other options.