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Getty Images/iStockphotoEveryone wants to seem interesting, but not everyone manages it.
Some conversational habits can be conversational quicksand, and have people tuning out in no time. If you actually want people to enjoy talking to you, avoid using these phrases unless you want to put the other person to sleep.
1. “It is what it is.”
Source: Unsplash You might be trying to showcase how laid-back and unbothered you are, but this can also come across as defeatist and uninspiring. It suggests a lack of willingness to explore solutions or find a silver lining. Next time, try expressing a bit more curiosity or a proactive approach, like “It’s a tricky situation, but let’s see what we can do about it.”
2. “At the end of the day…”
There’s nothing wrong with this, but it’s just kind of… empty and doesn’t mean anything. It’s like a verbal crutch that we lean on when we’re unsure of what else to say. Just get straight to the point and express your main idea without the unnecessary preamble.
3. “To be honest…”
Even if that’s not how you mean it, this can send the message that you weren’t being honest before, but you’re ready to start now. It also makes you sound a bit hesitant or unsure of yourself. Say what you want to say directly and confidently, without the need for qualifiers.
4. “I’m so busy.”
We all have busy lives, but constantly complaining about it can make you sound a bit self-important or even a bit whiny. It’s better to focus on the positive aspects of your busy schedule, or express your enthusiasm for the things that keep you occupied.
5. “That’s just the way I am.”
This can come across as dismissive and closed-minded. It suggests that you’re unwilling to change or grow, even if your behaviour is causing problems for yourself or other people. It’s so important to embrace your flaws and express a willingness to work on them. This shows self-awareness and a desire for personal development.
6. “No worries.”
While this is meant to be casual and reassuring, it can also sound a bit dismissive, especially if someone has gone out of their way to help you or apologise for something. Express your gratitude more directly, like, “Thank you, I really appreciate it.”
7. “I can’t even.”
This slang phrase might be popular on social media, but it doesn’t translate well to real-life conversations. It can make you sound immature and unable to cope with even minor inconveniences. You have it in you to be more articulate and mature, so try something like, “I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed right now.”
8. “It’s not fair.”
Life isn’t always fair, but complaining about it doesn’t usually solve anything. It can make you sound entitled and unwilling to accept reality. Focus on solutions and taking action to address the situation, rather than dwelling on the unfairness of it all.
9. “I’m just saying…”
Funny enough, this often precedes a potentially controversial or offensive statement, used as a way to deflect responsibility or avoid accountability. It can come across as passive-aggressive and dismissive of other people’s feelings. Own your opinions and be direct about sharing them.
10. “Whatever.”
This one-word response is the epitome of disengagement and apathy. It basically says that you’re not interested in a proper conversation, and you don’t care how the other person feels about it. It’s the verbal equivalent of an eye roll, and it can be incredibly hurtful and frustrating. Be more engaged, even if you disagree or find it uninteresting.
11. “I know, right?”
While this is often used to show enthusiasm or let the other person know that you agree with them, it can also come across as a bit empty and unoriginal. It doesn’t add anything new to the conversation and can make you sound like you’re just parroting what the other person said. Instead, try to elaborate on your thoughts and feelings, or share a related experience or observation. This will make for a much more engaging conversation.
12. “Literally.”
This word is often used as an intensifier, but it’s frequently misused and can make you sound a bit clueless. Unless you’re describing something that’s actually happening in the literal sense, it’s best to avoid this word altogether. It can make you sound hyperbolic and undermine your credibility.
13. “Like.”
This filler word is like a verbal tic that can creep into your conversations without you even realising it. It can be distracting and make you sound unsure of yourself. Try to be more mindful of your speech patterns and avoid using “like” as a crutch. If you need a moment to gather your thoughts, simply pause and take a breath instead.
14. “No offence, but…”
This is often followed by a statement that’s intended to be offensive or hurtful. It’s a way of trying to soften the blow, but it rarely works. If you have something critical or potentially offensive to say, it’s better to be direct and honest, rather than trying to disguise it with a disclaimer.
15. “I’m not racist, but…”
Similar to the previous phrase, this one often precedes a racist or prejudiced statement. It’s a way of trying to distance yourself from the offensive comment, but it only serves to highlight the underlying prejudice. If you find yourself using this phrase, it’s time to examine your own biases and challenge your assumptions.
16. “I’m entitled to my opinion.”
While everyone is entitled to their own opinions, this is often used to shut down debate or justify offensive or harmful views. It can come across as arrogant and dismissive of other people’s perspectives. Remember, having an opinion doesn’t make it right or immune to criticism. Be open to hearing other viewpoints and be willing to engage in respectful dialogue, even if you disagree.
