Milan Markovic

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a rude comment, you know how frustrating and hurtful it can be.

Sometimes in the moment it’s hard to think of the perfect response. Well, I’m here to help with that. Below are 16 snappy comebacks you can keep in your back pocket for the next time someone throws shade your way. Use them wisely and remember, you don’t have to stoop to their level — but you also don’t have to just sit there and take it.

1. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were an expert on my life.”

Milan Markovic

When someone makes an assumption or judges you without knowing the full story, this is the perfect way to shut it down. It points out how ridiculous it is for them to think they know better than you about your own experiences and choices. You’re the authority on you, period.

2. “I’ll take that under consideration.” [Then walk away]

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This is a great way to end a conversation with a rude person without escalating things further. It’s subtly dismissive — you’re not actually going to consider what they said, you’re just exiting the interaction. And by physically removing yourself, you take away their power to keep attacking you.

3. “What a rude thing to say. Anyway…”

David Pereiras

Sometimes the best response is to simply call it like you see it. Label their comment as rude, then change the subject or move on. It shows that you won’t be rattled or provoked by their poor behaviour. They may be trying to get a rise out of you, but you’re not going to give them the satisfaction.

4. “Did you wake up today just to criticise people, or…?”

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Turn it back on them and question their motives. Why are they so focused on putting others down? Maybe they should look inward and figure out what’s really bothering them, rather than lashing out at you. This comeback suggests that they’re being petty and small-minded.

5. “I’m glad you shared your opinion. I don’t agree with it, but I respect your right to be wrong.”

Liubomyr Vorona

A rude comment often masquerades as “just an opinion,” so here you’re throwing that right back. You’re being kind of snarky and sarcastic, while still taking the high road. You respect their right to free speech, but you’re not going to pretend their opinion is correct or valid. They can think what they want, but you know better.

6. “I’m not sure why you felt the need to say that, but I’m going to chalk it up to you having a bad day and give you a pass.”

© Milenko Đilas - Veternik

This is a charitable response that gives the rude commenter an out. Maybe they spoke without thinking or were just in a bad mood. You’re being the bigger person by not holding it against them, while still making it clear that what they said was out of line. If they keep it up, though, that free pass will expire real quick.

7. “Ooh, sick burn. Write that one down so you can use it again later!” [Eye roll]

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Fight rudeness with sarcasm and a bit of attitude. By pretending you’re impressed with their lame attempt at an insult, you’re actually calling them out for being unoriginal and immature. The eye roll really seals the deal.

8. “I don’t remember asking for your opinion.”

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Short, simple, to the point. This comeback firmly establishes a boundary and shuts down the unwelcome commentary. If you didn’t ask, they shouldn’t have told. Maybe next time they’ll think twice before dishing out a rude remark that nobody wants to hear.

9. “My life choices aren’t up for public debate, but thanks.”

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Some people seem to think they get a say in how you live your life. This is a polite but firm way of telling them to butt out. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or justification for your personal decisions. Establishing that boundary is crucial.

10. “Wow, you really put a lot of thought into that insult. I’m flattered!”

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Pretending to be flattered by a rude comment is unexpected and throws the other person off their game. They were probably hoping to make you feel bad, so acting like you’re delighted by their effort to tear you down is a power move. It shows that they can’t touch you.

11. “Well, that’s an interesting perspective. Anyway, as I was saying…”

Source: Unsplash
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Similar to “I’ll take that under consideration,” this comeback dismisses the rude remark and keeps the conversation moving. You’re not going to dwell on their negativity or let it derail you. You have more important things to discuss, and you won’t be distracted by petty jabs.

12. “I’d love to hear more about what qualifies you to critique my [appearance/life choices/etc.].”

Dmytro Sheremeta

When someone rudely criticises an aspect of your life, ask them to share their credentials on the subject. Chances are they’re not an expert, they’re just a busybody with an unwarranted opinion. Calling out their lack of qualifications to judge you is a satisfying way to shut them down.

13. “I’d rather be [insert thing they insulted] than rude and judgmental like you.”

If they insulted your appearance, your job, your hobbies, or anything else, turn it around on them. Wouldn’t you rather have [supposedly flawed characteristic] than be a jerk who tears others down? This comeback asserts that you’re happy with yourself, flaws and all, and you pity them for being so negative.

14. “Aw, you’re adorable. You actually think I care what you think!”

male and female colleague chatting at cafeSource: Unsplash
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The condescension in this one is *chef’s kiss.* You’re being very clear that their opinion is meaningless to you. And by calling them adorable, you’re infantilizing them and their rude comment. They’re being childish and silly, and you’re not going to pretend otherwise.

15. “Why are you so invested in this? Is your own life not interesting enough?”

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Someone who makes a lot of rude comments about other people’s business might need to get a hobby of their own. Suggest that instead of obsessing over your life, they should focus on their own. Maybe take up knitting or birdwatching so they have less time to stick their nose where it doesn’t belong.

16. “I hope getting that off your chest made you feel better about yourself.”

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Ah, the classic “bless your heart” approach, taken straight from the American South. You’re being ‘kind’ about their unkindness, with a healthy dose of sass. The implication is that they must be very insecure if putting you down is the only way they can feel good. It’s a pity, really.