Getting on the wrong side of a narcissist is asking for trouble.
However, it’s basically inevitable if you see through their toxic behaviour and refuse to put up with it. You go from being their unwilling victim to their mortal enemy basically overnight, and they’re not shy about letting you know that’s how they feel. When a narcissist really can’t stand you (because you’re onto their nonsense), they’ll likely do these things.
1. They constantly undermine your achievements.
No matter what you accomplish, they’ll dismiss it as unimportant or downplay your efforts. It’s their way of making you feel small. They can’t stand when you succeed because it threatens their fragile ego. Don’t let their negativity get to you — your success is valid, even if they refuse to acknowledge it.
2. They give you backhanded compliments.
“Wow, you’re surprisingly good at this!” Sound familiar? Narcissists love disguising insults as praise. They want to keep you second-guessing yourself while pretending to be supportive. Take their words with a grain of salt and remember: their opinion doesn’t define your worth. Genuine compliments come from genuine people.
3. They exclude you from things on purpose.
Whether it’s group plans or conversations, they’ll leave you out to make you feel isolated. This tactic is all about control. They want you to feel left out and powerless. Surround yourself with people who value your presence — you deserve to be included.
4. They spread rumours about you.
Narcissists will twist the truth to damage your reputation. If you notice strange stories circulating, they’re likely behind it. They’re masters at planting seeds of doubt while keeping their hands clean. Don’t play their game; stick to your truth, and those who know you will see through the lies.
5. They mimic your behaviour in a mocking way.
Ever feel like they’re copying you to make you look silly? This isn’t admiration; it’s ridicule in disguise. They’re trying to undermine your confidence by turning your quirks against you. Brush it off — imitation says more about their lack of originality than anything about you.
6. They actively ignore you in group settings.
They’ll act like you’re invisible while engaging with everyone else. It’s a petty way to make you feel unimportant. They want you to question your worth and feel out of place. Stay confident and don’t let their cold shoulder throw you off. Their behaviour reflects *them*, not you.
7. They’re unusually competitive with you.
Whether it’s work, hobbies, or social standing, they turn everything into a contest. Their need to “beat” you is exhausting. They measure their worth by outdoing everyone, especially you. Remember, life isn’t a competition — your journey is yours alone.
8. They mock your interests and passions.
Narcissists love belittling what makes you happy, just to take the wind out of your sails. They’ll call your hobbies childish, boring, or pointless. Don’t let their disdain kill your joy. Your interests matter, even if they can’t see it.
9. They sabotage your efforts.
They’ll “forget” to pass along important info or subtly ruin your plans. It’s all about making sure you fail. They feel better about themselves when you stumble. Keep a backup plan, and don’t rely too heavily on them — you’ll achieve more without their interference.
10. They’re passive-aggressive towards you.
They’ll make snarky remarks or do things that are irritatingly “coincidental.” It’s hostility in a quiet form. They want to provoke you without taking direct responsibility. Don’t engage in their passive-aggressive dance. Address things calmly, or let them stew in their own bitterness.
11. They get visibly irritated when you receive praise.
When other people recognise your efforts, they suddenly look like they’ve swallowed a lemon. Their irritation speaks volumes. They can’t stand attention being taken away from them. Enjoy your well-earned praise and don’t let their sourness spoil it.
12. They take pleasure in your failures.
They won’t hide their glee when things don’t go your way. Their smugness is hard to miss. It reassures them that they’re “better” than you. Focus on picking yourself back up — their delight is temporary, but your growth is lasting.
13. They refuse to give you credit.
Even if you’ve done all the work, they’ll find ways to deny you recognition. They might even claim it as their own. Their ego can’t handle sharing the spotlight. Stay vocal about your contributions and don’t let them rewrite the narrative.
14. They criticise you excessively.
No matter what you do, they’ll find something wrong with it. Their constant nitpicking can wear you down. They thrive on making you feel inadequate. Recognise that their criticism is more about their insecurities than your flaws.
15. They try to isolate you from mutual friends.
They’ll subtly poison your relationships, making it seem like everyone is against you. They want to leave you with no support system. Keep your friendships strong by staying honest and open. Real friends won’t fall for their manipulation.
16. They act like you don’t exist.
If they truly despise you, they’ll go all-out with the silent treatment. Ignoring you completely is their way of exerting control. They hope you’ll feel desperate for their attention. Don’t seek their approval — focus on people who genuinely care about you.
