Friendships are supposed to make our lives better, but sometimes they can become toxic or draining, and then they’ve got to go.
There’s no use keeping someone in your life who treats you badly or simply doesn’t care about you. It’s not always easy to spot when a friendship has turned sour (or you might not want to notice them!), but here are some signs that it might be time to call it quits.
1. You feel drained after spending time with them.
If you consistently feel exhausted or emotionally drained and needing a kip or an aural cleanse after hanging out with your friend, it’s a red flag. Healthy friendships should make you feel excited and happy, not leave you feeling like you’ve run a marathon.
2. They’re always criticising you.
Constructive criticism from a good friend can be helpful, but constant negativity is not okay. If your friend seems to always find fault with you — your choices, your appearance, your other relationships — it’s a sign of an unhealthy dynamic. Do they think they’re perfect or something?
3. The friendship feels one-sided.
Are you always the one reaching out, making plans, or offering support? If the friendship feels imbalanced, with you doing all the heavy lifting, it’s not a healthy situation. It’s supposed to be a two-way street, and if it’s all one-way traffic, you might as well not bother.
4. They’re competitive in a harmful way.
A bit of friendly competition can be fun, but if your friend seems to always be trying to outdo you or gets upset when good things happen to you, it’s problematic. They’re meant to be on your side, not always trying to get one step ahead of you.
5. You can’t trust them with your secrets.
Trust is important in any relationship, and if you don’t want to share personal info with your “friend” because you know they’ll likely spill it to anyone with ears, your friendship is clearly on shaky ground. What’s the point of having them in your life if you can’t confide in them?
6. They make you feel bad about yourself.
A good friend should make you feel valued and appreciated. If you often feel insecure, inadequate, or ashamed after spending time with this person, it’s a sign of a toxic friendship. Your self-worth shouldn’t take a hit every time you hang out with this person.
7. They’re constantly surrounded by drama.
While it’s normal for friends to turn to each other during tough times, if your friend seems to always be at the centre of some crisis or conflict, it can be exhausting. If you feel like you’re constantly being dragged into their drama, it might be time to step back and evaluate the friendship. You’re no longer in school, but they don’t seem to have matured at all since then.
8. You make a lot of excuses for their behaviour.
If you always end up defending your friend’s behaviour to other people or making excuses for the way they go on, it’s a red flag. It’s not your job to constantly justify your friend’s actions, especially if they’re consistently treating other people (or you) like rubbish.
9. They’re not respectful of your boundaries.
Healthy friendships involve mutual respect for each other’s boundaries. If your friend consistently ignores your limits — whether it’s about personal space, time, or emotional energy — don’t put up with it. What don’t they get about the word “no”?
10. You don’t like who you become around them.
Do you always end up doing things you’re not proud of when you’re with this friend? If you feel like you become a worse version of yourself in their company — maybe more gossipy, mean-spirited, or reckless — it’s a sign that the friendship might be having a negative influence on you.
11. They’re always taking, never giving.
Friendships should involve a healthy give and take. If your friend is always asking for favours, borrowing money, or needing support, but is nowhere to be found when you need help, it’s an unbalanced relationship. A true friend should be there for you as much as you’re there for them.
12. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them.
If you’re constantly worried about saying or doing the wrong thing around your friend, you can’t go on like that. You should feel comfortable being yourself around your friends, not anxious about potentially upsetting them with every word or action.
13. They bring out the worst in you.
Source: Unsplash Good friends should inspire you to be your best self. If you find that this person encourages your bad habits, pushes you to make bad decisions, or brings out negative traits in your personality, it might be time to reconsider the friendship. Who wants to hang out with people like that?
14. You don’t enjoy spending time with them anymore.
Source: Unsplash This might seem obvious, but it’s easy to overlook. If you find yourself dreading plans with this friend or feeling relieved when they cancel, it’s a clear sign that the friendship is no longer bringing you joy. Life’s too short to spend time with people who don’t make you happy.
15. They’re not supportive of your growth or changes.
Source: Unsplash As we grow and evolve, our friendships should adapt too. If your friend seems resentful or unsupportive of positive changes in your life — whether it’s a new job, relationship, or personal growth — it might be a sign that you’ve outgrown the friendship. True friends should champion your progress and support your journey of self-improvement.
16. You’ve tried to address issues, but nothing changes.
Source: Unsplash If you’ve voiced your concerns about the friendship and tried to work on the problems, but nothing ever improves, it might be time to accept that the friendship has run its course. Healthy relationships require effort from both sides. If you’re the only one trying to fix things, it might be time to let go and move on.
