If you’ve ever been in an argument with a stubborn know-it-all who refuses to accept logic or reason, you know how frustrating it can be.
No matter what facts or proof you show them, they still insist they’re right and you’re wrong, and you end up going in an endless circle with no way out. Instead of wasting your precious time and energy on an argument that’s going nowhere, recognise when you’re in this situation. This way, you can put a stop to it and walk away to preserve your peace.
1. They refuse to acknowledge facts.
As previously mentioned, no matter how clearly you present evidence or logical reasoning, they dismiss it outright. They cling to their own version of events, even when it doesn’t align with reality. Instead of engaging with the facts, they may accuse you of being biased or misinformed. Their refusal to accept facts shows they are more committed to their stance than to the truth.
2. They constantly move the goalposts.
When you address one of their points, they change the subject or introduce a new argument. Just when you think you’ve made progress, they shift the conversation elsewhere. Doing this keeps the argument going indefinitely and makes it impossible to resolve anything. It’s a way of avoiding accountability, ensuring they never have to concede a point.
3. They resort to personal attacks.
Instead of focusing on the topic at hand, they attack you personally. They might call you names, question your intelligence, or bring up unrelated issues. These tactics are designed to derail the argument and put you on the defensive rather than addressing the actual issue. By turning the focus on you, they avoid taking responsibility for their own behaviour.
4. They refuse to admit they’re wrong.
Even when it’s clear they’ve made a mistake, they dig their heels in. Their pride or ego prevents them from acknowledging any fault. They may double down on their stance or deflect blame rather than admit any error. Their inability (or unwillingness) to admit they’re wrong makes constructive conversation almost impossible.
5. They twist your words.
They misinterpret or deliberately twist what you say to fit their narrative. Even if you clarify your point, they continue to misrepresent your words. It can leave you feeling frustrated and misunderstood. It also makes it difficult to stay on topic, as you end up defending yourself against things you never actually said.
6. They use emotional manipulation.
Instead of engaging logically, they rely on guilt, shame, or pity to win the argument. They might play the victim or use emotional appeals that have nothing to do with the discussion. This clouds the issue and distracts from rational debate. By shifting to emotions, they avoid having to justify their arguments with facts.
7. They refuse to listen.
Rather than genuinely hearing your points, they’re only waiting for their turn to speak. They interrupt, dismiss, or talk over you. Their refusal to listen signals that they’re not interested in understanding your perspective. Instead, they’re focused on pushing their own agenda, regardless of what you have to say.
8. They’re overly defensive.
Every comment you make is met with defensiveness or hostility. Even neutral observations are taken as personal attacks. Their extreme defensiveness makes it hard to have a productive discussion because they react emotionally to everything. It often means they are too focused on protecting their ego to engage in meaningful dialogue.
9. They rely on “whataboutism.”
Instead of addressing your points, they deflect by bringing up unrelated issues or pointing out your flaws. For example, if you call out their behaviour, they say, “Well, what about when you did this?” It’s their way of avoiding accountability and keeping the argument stuck in a loop. It shifts the focus away from the real issue, making resolution difficult.
10. They ignore context.
They take your statements out of context to make them seem more extreme or unreasonable. They focus on isolated remarks instead of the broader conversation. Their selective interpretation distorts the discussion and undermines your points. It allows them to twist the argument in their favour while ignoring your actual intent.
11. They repeat the same points over and over.
No matter how many times you address their arguments, they keep repeating the same points. It’s as if they didn’t hear anything you said. The repetition shows they’re not open to considering new information or changing their perspective. It also signals that they are more interested in being heard than actually listening.
12. They insist on being “right” at all costs.
Their primary goal isn’t to resolve the issue or understand different viewpoints — it’s to “win” the argument. They’re more focused on proving themselves right than on finding common ground. Their stubbornness makes rational discussion pointless. Their need to be right often overrides any chance of compromise or collaboration.
13. They use exaggerated or absolute language.
They say things like “You always…” or “You never…” to make their point seem stronger. This kind of extreme language leaves no room for nuance or compromise. It also makes it hard to address the issue fairly, as they paint everything in black-and-white terms. These absolutes can escalate the argument and prevent a balanced conversation.
14. They rely on conspiracy theories or unfounded beliefs.
Instead of supporting their arguments with evidence, they cite vague, baseless claims or conspiracy theories. If their arguments rely on ideas that can’t be proven or are widely discredited, reasoning with them becomes futile. They often dismiss legitimate information as biased or manipulated, further shutting down rational discussion.
15. They project their flaws onto you.
They accuse you of the very behaviours they’re displaying, such as being stubborn, irrational, or unreasonable. Their clear projection deflects attention from their own faults and makes it harder to address the real issue. It’s a defensive tactic that allows them to avoid looking inward and taking responsibility for their actions.
16. They refuse to end the argument.
Even when it’s clear that the conversation is going nowhere, they won’t let it drop. They keep pushing, repeating their points, or baiting you into continuing. Their refusal to step back shows they’re more interested in conflict than resolution. They may thrive on the drama or feel the need to have the last word, prolonging the frustration.
