The older you get, the more important it is to make sure you’re choosing the right partner.
You’re done with casual dating and messing around in situations that go nowhere, so being aware of red flags is a must. If you don’t want to waste your time and energy and save yourself a lot of heartbreak in the process, here are some early warning signs that a man won’t be a very good partner.
1. He picks apart how you look.
If he’s constantly making negative comments about your appearance, weight, or style, it’s a huge red flag. A man who makes you feel self-conscious or suggests you need to change is likely projecting his own insecurities onto you. You should be with someone who makes you feel beautiful just as you are, not someone who chips away at your confidence.
2. He doesn’t respect your boundaries.
Whether it’s physical, emotional, or social, boundaries are a basic part of any healthy relationship. If he regularly ignores or dismisses your limits, it shows he doesn’t respect your autonomy. This is the kind of behaviour that can escalate into bigger problems later on.
3. He’s overly jealous for no reason.
A little jealousy is normal, but if he’s constantly questioning who you’re with or accusing you of things without evidence, it’s a sign of deep insecurity. Excessive jealousy can easily morph into controlling behaviour, and that’s something you don’t want to deal with down the line.
4. He never owns up to his mistakes.
If he’s always blaming other people or refusing to take responsibility for his actions, it’s a sign of emotional immaturity. A man who can’t admit when he’s wrong will make resolving conflicts difficult and frustrating. Watch out for someone who always deflects blame.
5. He makes light of your feelings.
If he constantly brushes off your emotions or opinions, it’s a clear sign of disrespect. You want a partner who values your perspective, not someone who makes you feel like you’re being dramatic or overly sensitive. It’s important to be with someone who listens, even when they disagree.
6. His relationship history is one giant red flag.
Everyone has a past, but if his history includes one messy breakup after another, or he badmouths all his exes, it might be worth considering why. A pattern of unstable relationships can be a warning sign that he struggles with commitment or emotional maturity.
7. His behaviour is all over the place.
If one day he’s affectionate and the next he’s distant, it’s a sign of emotional inconsistency. Being with someone who keeps you guessing can be draining. A good partner should provide steady support and not leave you feeling uncertain about where you stand.
8. He lacks empathy.
Empathy is key to a healthy relationship. If he doesn’t seem to care about your struggles or other people’s, it’s a red flag. A lack of empathy can make it difficult for him to provide emotional support when you need it most.
9. He tries to control aspects of your relationship.
If he’s telling you what to wear, who you can see, or how you should spend your time, that’s a major red flag. Healthy relationships are built on trust and independence, not control. If he’s trying to make decisions for you, it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.
10. His anger is unpredictable.
Pay attention to how he handles frustration. If he has frequent outbursts or becomes physically intimidating, that’s a serious red flag. Anger issues can escalate over time, leading to an unsafe and unhealthy relationship dynamic.
11. It’s always about him.
If he constantly puts his needs above yours and rarely considers your feelings, it’s a sign of selfishness. Relationships require balance, and someone who is always prioritising themselves will eventually leave you feeling neglected.
12. He avoids any talk about the future.
If he dodges questions about where the relationship is headed or won’t talk about long-term plans, it could be a sign he’s not really committed. While everyone moves at their own pace, a complete refusal to discuss the future can indicate that he’s not planning to stick around.
13. His finances are a mess.
Financial irresponsibility can lead to a lot of stress in a relationship. If he’s constantly overspending or can’t seem to manage his money, it might point to deeper issues like poor impulse control or a lack of maturity. Keep an eye on how he handles his financial responsibilities.
14. He’s rude to people when they’re “beneath” him.
How someone treats service workers, strangers, or anyone they don’t need to impress says a lot about their character. If he’s dismissive or rude to wait staff, shop assistants, or people in general, it’s a big indicator of poor manners—and that lack of respect could eventually be directed at you.
15. He pressures you into physical intimacy.
A partner who respects you will never push your boundaries around physical intimacy. If he’s making you feel guilty for not moving at his pace or pressuring you into things you’re not comfortable with, it’s a huge red flag. This shows a complete lack of respect for your comfort and autonomy.
16. His relationship with substances is unhealthy.
If his drinking or drug use is affecting his daily life, work, or your relationship, it’s a sign of a deeper problem. Substance abuse is a serious issue, and if he can’t control his habits, it’s likely to cause significant problems in your relationship down the line.
