We all know someone who’s genuinely nice, but somehow rubs people the wrong way.
They’re not rude or offensive — they just have little habits that can give the wrong impression. Here’s a look at some ways well-meaning people might be accidentally painting themselves in a not-so-great light:
1. They try to relate to everything, even when they can’t.
We’ve all met that person who responds to every story with “Oh, that happened to me too!” While they’re trying to connect, it can come off as one-upping or dismissing people’s experiences. Sometimes, a simple “That sounds tough” is better than a forced personal anecdote.
2. They fact-check conversations in real-time.
In the age of smartphones, some people can’t resist the urge to Google every fact mentioned in a chat. Sure, they want to be accurate, but constantly whipping out their phone can kill the vibe of a conversation. It’s okay to let some things slide for the sake of flow.
3. They apologise for having opinions.
“I’m sorry, but I think…” is a phrase that makes even good ideas sound wimpy. It’s great to be considerate, but apologising for merely having a thought can make someone seem insecure. Opinions don’t need sorry’s attached to them.
4. They explain their jokes to death.
We’ve all told a joke that fell flat. But some people can’t let it go, and always launch into a detailed explanation of why it’s funny. Spoiler alert: it usually makes things more awkward, not less. Sometimes, it’s best to let a dud joke fade away.
5. They use big words to sound smart, but use them wrong.
There’s always that person who’s clearly swallowed a thesaurus, but doesn’t quite know how to digest it. Dropping fancy words incorrectly into conversation doesn’t make someone sound smart — it just makes everyone else feel uncomfortable.
6. They play devil’s advocate in every single conversation.
Some people think always arguing the opposite makes them look intelligent and open-minded. In reality, it often just makes them seem contrary and exhausting to talk to. Not every chat needs to be a debate.
7. They jump on every trend like their life depends on it.
From diets to workout fads to the latest self-help craze, some people dive head first into every trend that comes along. While enthusiasm is great, constantly ping-ponging between passions can make someone seem flaky and easily influenced.
8. Their words and body language are complete opposites.
When someone says, “I’m fine” through gritted teeth and clenched fists, it’s pretty clear they’re not fine. This mismatch between words and body language can make a person seem fake or out of touch with their own feelings.
9. They’re so modest it’s actually annoying.
Humility is great, but there’s a point where it gets ridiculous. Constantly downplaying genuine skills or achievements doesn’t make someone humble — it can make them seem insecure or fishing for compliments.
10. They quote famous people more than they speak for themselves.
We all know that person who seems to communicate exclusively in inspirational quotes. While a well-placed quote can be powerful, relying on other people’s words too much can make someone seem like they don’t have thoughts of their own.
11. They use philosophical concepts to sound deep, but get them all wrong.
Dropping Plato or Nietzsche into casual conversation doesn’t automatically make someone profound, especially if they’re misusing the concepts. It often comes across as try-hard rather than truly thoughtful.
12. They label everyone with personality types.
Some people can’t have a conversation without bringing up Myers-Briggs or Enneagram types. While these tools can be interesting, reducing every interaction to a personality category can make someone seem rigid and overly simplistic in their view of people.
13. They nod and “mm-hmm” so much it’s clear they’re not really listening.
We all want to seem engaged in conversation, but overdoing the listening noises can backfire. Excessive nodding and “uh-huh”-ing can make someone appear to be following a script rather than genuinely tuning in.
14. They’re weirdly formal in casual situations.
Using “Sir” or “Madam” with friends or busting out perfect table manners at a burger joint — being overly formal can create an uncomfortable distance, even when someone’s just trying to be polite.
15. They sit on the fence in every single discussion.
Some people think always presenting both sides of an argument makes them look fair and balanced. In reality, constant equivocation can make someone seem wishy-washy and afraid to take a stand on anything.
16. They talk about self-care so much it sounds selfish.
Taking care of yourself is important, but some people take it to an extreme. When every decision is framed as “essential self-care,” it can start to sound less like health-consciousness and more like self-indulgence.
