Argumentative people can turn even the most mundane conversations into heated debates.
You make a totally innocent comment, and all of a sudden, they’re going ballistic and acting as they’ve been looking for a scrap all day. Here are some of the things these argumentative people commonly say to pick a fight over nothing. The best thing you can do is not take the bait!
1. “You always do this.”
When they drop this line, it feels like they’re lumping every little mistake you’ve ever made into one big accusation. Using “always” is a guaranteed way to make someone feel attacked, as if they can never get it right. It’s unfair because it doesn’t leave room for exceptions or acknowledge that people can change. It’s like they’re digging up the past just to prove a point.
2. “I’m just saying…”
This might seem harmless, but it’s often used to sneak in a criticism without taking responsibility for it. It’s like they’re trying to soften a harsh comment, but it ends up sounding passive-aggressive. Instead of owning their opinion, they hide behind “I’m just saying,” which can be super frustrating. It can make you feel like they’re baiting you into an argument.
3. “Why are you getting so defensive?”
After they’ve said something hurtful, they might throw this at you when you react. It’s a tricky way to shift the blame onto you, making it seem like you’re overreacting. By questioning your response, they’re dodging responsibility for their own words. It puts you in a tough spot because defending yourself just makes it look like they’re right.
4. “You’re too sensitive.”
This one’s a classic put-down that dismisses your feelings entirely. By calling you “too sensitive,” they’re making it seem like the problem isn’t what they said, but how you reacted. It’s a way to avoid taking responsibility for hurtful comments. It’s not fair because it invalidates your emotions and makes you question yourself.
5. “Fine, whatever.”
When they throw this out there, it’s usually in a huff. It’s a passive-aggressive way to end the conversation without resolving anything. Saying “fine” in that tone clearly means things aren’t fine at all. It can be super frustrating because it shuts down communication and leaves issues hanging in the air.
6. “You don’t have to get so upset about it.”
After provoking you, they might say this to make you feel like you’re overreacting. It’s another way to invalidate your feelings and make it seem like you’re the one causing a problem. It’s annoying because it downplays whatever upset you in the first place, brushing off your emotions as unimportant.
7. “I was just joking. Can’t you take a joke?”
This is a go-to for people who say something hurtful and then try to backtrack. By claiming it was “just a joke,” they make you feel like you’re overreacting or lack a sense of humour. It’s a way to dodge responsibility for their words and put the blame on you for not finding it funny.
8. “You’re not listening to me.”
They might say this when you disagree with them, even if you’ve heard every word. It’s a tactic to make you feel like the bad guy, as if you’re ignoring their point of view. It’s frustrating because it shifts the focus from the actual issue to a power struggle over who’s being heard.
9. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
When called out, they might accuse you of twisting their words. Instead of clarifying or apologising, they blame you for misunderstanding. It’s a way to deflect responsibility and make you question the way you see the world. If that’s not what they meant, why did they say it?
10. “Why do you always have to make such a big deal out of everything?”
This line is meant to make you feel like you’re overreacting or being dramatic. They’re minimising your concerns to avoid addressing them. It’s dismissive and invalidates your feelings, and that makes it hard to have a productive conversation.
11. “You’re just like your mother/father.”
Bringing family into it is a low blow. They’re trying to push your buttons by comparing you to someone they know might be a sensitive subject. It’s usually irrelevant to the actual topic and is more about provoking you than resolving anything.
12. “I’m not arguing, I’m just trying to have a conversation.”
This can be gaslighting at its finest. They’re downplaying the argument and making it seem like you’re the one turning it into a big deal. It can make you doubt your own feelings about the interaction.
13. “If you really loved me, you would…”
This is emotional manipulation. They’re trying to guilt you into doing something by questioning your love or commitment. It’s not fair and puts undue pressure on you to go along with their wishes.
14. “You never support me.”
Using “never” is another absolute that ignores any times you have been supportive. It’s a sweeping statement meant to make you feel guilty or inadequate, and it’s hurtful because it dismisses your efforts and focuses only on the negatives.
15. “I’m not mad.”
When they say this through gritted teeth or with an angry tone, it’s obvious they are mad. Denying their feelings prevents honest communication and leaves you guessing about what’s really wrong. It’s passive-aggressive and unhelpful.
16. “You’re twisting my words.”
They might accuse you of misrepresenting what they said when you’re simply addressing their points. It’s a defensive move to derail the conversation and avoid accountability. It can make it hard to address the real issues because you’re stuck debating what was actually said.
