Some people love to act like they have a psychology degree just because they’ve watched a few TED Talks or read half an article on mental health.
This is even worse thanks to the internet — everyone thinks they’re an expert in everything, and they have no qualms in acting like it despite having no real knowledge or experience to back it up. They throw around big labels, give out armchair diagnoses, and act like they can figure out someone’s entire personality based on a single interaction. The problem is that real psychology is complex, and these throwaway statements usually do more harm than good. These are just a few of the sweeping statements these self-described psychologists love to make.
1. “You’re definitely a narcissist.”
People love throwing around the word “narcissist” these days. If someone is a little selfish, confident, or even just annoys them, they immediately slap this label on them. But true narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a serious condition — it’s not just about being self-absorbed or liking attention. It involves a deep lack of empathy, manipulative behaviour, and an obsession with control, none of which should be diagnosed over a minor disagreement. When these people call someone a narcissist, they usually mean, “You did something I didn’t like.” It’s a lazy way of dismissing someone instead of actually dealing with the situation. If they really understood narcissism, they’d know that not every person with a big ego qualifies. There’s a huge difference between having confidence and having a full-blown personality disorder.
2. “That’s your trauma response.”
These days, everything is apparently a “trauma response.” Didn’t text back fast enough? Trauma response. Prefer to do things alone? Trauma response. The term is used so loosely that it’s losing its real meaning. Yes, trauma can shape behaviour, but not every reaction someone has is tied to some deep-rooted emotional wound from their past. While trauma absolutely affects behaviour, sometimes people just have habits, personality traits, or ways of dealing with things that have nothing to do with past pain. Assuming everything stems from trauma oversimplifies the complexities of human behaviour and ignores the fact that people make choices for all kinds of reasons.
3. “You have attachment issues.”
If someone is clingy, distant, or even just has normal relationship struggles, these people jump straight to diagnosing them with attachment issues. They’ll start throwing out phrases like “avoidant” or “anxious attachment” without actually knowing what those terms really mean. To them, every single relationship dynamic is boiled down to a neat little label. Attachment theory is complex, and not everyone who struggles in relationships has a deep-rooted attachment disorder. But in the hands of someone who read one Instagram post about attachment styles, suddenly everyone is “emotionally unavailable” or “terrified of abandonment.” Real attachment issues are deeper than just not texting back fast enough.
4. “You’re projecting.”
Call someone out on their behaviour, and there’s a good chance they’ll come back with, “You’re just projecting.” It’s a great way to shut down an argument without actually addressing the issue. People who say this often aren’t looking for an open discussion; they’re looking for a way to win the conversation. Yes, projection is real, but not every criticism is projection. Sometimes, people have valid points, and accusing them of projecting is just a lazy way to avoid accountability. True psychologists look for patterns, not one-off comments. Just because someone has an opinion doesn’t mean they’re secretly revealing their own issues.
5. “That’s gaslighting.”
Gaslighting is a serious form of emotional manipulation where someone makes another person doubt their own reality, but armchair psychologists have turned it into a catch-all term for any disagreement or misunderstanding. It’s now used whenever someone simply doesn’t agree with what the other person is saying. If someone says, “I don’t remember it that way,” that’s not necessarily gaslighting. If they have a different perspective, that doesn’t mean they’re emotionally manipulating you. But because the term is so trendy, people misuse it constantly to make themselves the victim in any situation. Real gaslighting is calculated and intentional — it’s not just a disagreement.
6. “You must have childhood trauma.”
People love acting like they can diagnose childhood trauma based on one conversation. If someone is independent, has high standards, or even just likes their space, suddenly, it’s “because of childhood trauma.” If they struggle in relationships or prefer alone time, it’s not a personal choice — it’s a sign of some unresolved wound. While past experiences shape people, not every personality trait is the result of a deep emotional wound. Assuming everyone is traumatised just because they don’t act the way you expect is a massive overreach. Some people are just wired differently, and that doesn’t always mean they have deep-seated issues.
7. “You have main character syndrome.”
Ever been excited about something and had someone roll their eyes and say, “Ugh, you have main character syndrome”? Apparently, showing confidence or enjoying attention automatically means someone thinks they’re the centre of the universe. The irony is that the person pointing it out is often just as self-absorbed for making it a thing. People are allowed to celebrate themselves, be confident, or enjoy life without being accused of thinking they’re better than everyone else. Main character energy isn’t a diagnosis; it’s just a buzzword people use to take everyone else down a peg.
8. “That’s just your toxic trait.”
Some people love to label anything they don’t like as someone’s “toxic trait.” Being picky? Toxic trait. Needing alone time? Toxic trait. Forgetting to respond to a text? Toxic trait. Basically, anything that isn’t immediately pleasing to them is suddenly a psychological issue. Not every habit or preference is toxic. Some things are just personality differences or quirks. People who love diagnosing everyone else also love dramatic labels, so suddenly, everything is toxic, even when it’s completely normal.
9. “You’re just an empath.”
Being a kind, caring person is great. But when someone claims to be an empath every five minutes, it starts to feel like they think they have a superpower. In reality, being sensitive to emotions doesn’t mean someone has psychic abilities or deeper emotional intelligence than everyone else. Also, true empathy means understanding both sides of a situation, not just labelling everyone else as “negative energy.” However, these people love using this as a way to feel special or claim they’re more emotionally advanced than everyone else.
10. “You’re in a trauma bond.”
If someone is in a complicated relationship, these people will immediately diagnose them with a trauma bond. While trauma bonds are real in toxic and abusive situations, not every difficult relationship qualifies. Some relationships are just messy because people are human. Jumping straight to this diagnosis oversimplifies things and ignores the fact that not all relationship struggles are rooted in psychological damage.
11. “You’re clearly in denial.”
When someone doesn’t agree with an armchair psychologist’s analysis of their life, the go-to response is, “You’re in denial.” It’s a convenient way to invalidate someone’s perspective while making themselves seem more insightful. Not everyone who disagrees is in denial. Sometimes, they just see things differently. But when someone is convinced they’re right, they’ll use this phrase to make it seem like they have all the answers.
12. “You definitely have ADHD.”
Struggle to focus? Lose your keys sometimes? Forget what you walked into a room for? According to the internet, you probably have ADHD. While ADHD is a real and often misunderstood condition, these people diagnose it based on the most basic human behaviours — things that literally everyone experiences from time to time. ADHD involves much more than just being forgetful or distracted. It impacts executive function, impulse control, and the ability to regulate attention in a way that affects daily life. But thanks to social media oversimplifications, people love to slap this label on themselves or someone else after watching a 30-second video on TikTok.
13. “That’s toxic positivity.”
Yes, toxic positivity is real — things like dismissing serious issues with “Just be happy!” or “Look on the bright side” can be unhelpful. But not every optimistic statement is toxic. Some people genuinely cope through positivity, and assuming that all encouragement is dismissive just makes things worse. Not every person offering words of hope is invalidating your struggles. Sometimes, they’re just trying to be supportive. Of course, armchair psychologists are quick to label anything remotely positive as “toxic,” even when it’s just someone trying to help in the best way they know how.
14. “You have commitment issues.”
Not being ready for a relationship doesn’t automatically mean someone has commitment issues. Some people genuinely enjoy being single, are waiting for the right person, or just aren’t interested in settling down. But to people who love diagnosing everyone else, any hesitation to jump into a relationship is a sign of deep-rooted fear of commitment. In reality, some people just have different priorities. They may be focusing on their career, mental health, or simply enjoying their independence. Assuming that every single person who isn’t in a relationship has some unresolved emotional issue is not only wrong, but also ignores personal choice and autonomy.
15. “You’re self-sabotaging.”
Making a tough decision or setting boundaries? Apparently, that’s self-sabotage. If someone doesn’t do what other people expect, they get accused of ruining their own life, even when they’re just doing what’s best for them. It’s a term that gets thrown around anytime someone makes a choice that other people don’t agree with. Self-sabotage is real, but not every decision is an act of self-destruction. Sometimes, people choose paths that don’t make sense to anyone else but are perfectly right for them. Not wanting to stay in a toxic job, choosing to leave a relationship, or even taking a break from responsibilities doesn’t always mean someone is “sabotaging” themselves — it could just mean they’re prioritising their mental and physical health.
16. “You have control issues.”
If you like to plan things, prefer order over chaos, and want to make sure things are done properly, that apparently means you have control issues. According to armchair psychologists, any level of organisation or preference for structure is automatically a sign that someone is controlling. While extreme control issues can be unhealthy, being organised or wanting things a certain way isn’t automatically a red flag. Some people just function better with structure, and that’s okay. But armchair psychologists love making every strong-willed person seem like they have a deep psychological problem, instead of just acknowledging that different people have different ways of operating.
