16 Things "Confident" People Do (That Are Actually Signs Of Insecurity)

rawpixel.com / Felix

Confidence can be a tricky thing. It’s often a mask we wear to hide our insecurities, a shield to protect our fragile egos. While some people genuinely exude self-assuredness, other people might be projecting a facade of confidence to compensate for their inner doubts. So, how can you tell the difference? Let’s explore some common behaviours that might seem like confidence but could actually be signs of underlying insecurity.

1. They brag excessively about their achievements.

We all enjoy sharing our successes, but constantly boasting about every little accomplishment can be a sign of insecurity. People who are truly confident don’t feel the need to constantly prove their worth to other people. They let their actions speak for themselves and don’t rely on external validation to feel good about themselves.

2. They constantly seek approval and validation.

While seeking feedback is healthy, a constant need for approval can be a sign of insecurity. People who are truly confident in their abilities don’t need constant reassurance from other people. They trust their own judgment and don’t rely on external validation to feel good about themselves.

3. They put people down to feel better about themselves.

Putting people down to elevate oneself is a classic sign of insecurity. People who are truly confident don’t need to belittle people to feel good about themselves. They encourage people and celebrate their successes, knowing that there’s enough room for everyone to shine.

4. They’re overly sensitive to criticism and feedback.

Constructive criticism is a valuable tool for growth, but people with low self-esteem often take it as a personal attack. They might become defensive, lash out, or shut down completely. People who are truly confident, on the other hand, welcome feedback as an opportunity for improvement and don’t take it personally.

5. They’re afraid to try new things or step outside their comfort zone.

A fear of failure often stems from a lack of confidence. People who are truly confident are willing to take risks and try new things, even if they might fail. They understand that failure is a part of life and an opportunity for growth. In contrast, insecure people might stick to what they know to avoid the possibility of embarrassment or rejection.

6. They’re constantly comparing themselves to anyone and everyone else.

Comparing yourself to other people is a quick way to feel inadequate. People who are truly confident focus on their own strengths and weaknesses, not on how they measure up to everyone. They celebrate their unique qualities and don’t get caught up in the comparison game.

7. They have an inflated ego and a sense of entitlement.

While confidence is about believing in yourself, an inflated ego is about believing you’re better than everyone. People with inflated egos often have a sense of entitlement and expect special treatment. This sense of superiority often masks deep-seated insecurities and a fear of not being good enough.

8. They try to control every aspect of their lives and other people’s.

A need for control can stem from a lack of trust in yourself and other people. People who are truly confident are comfortable with uncertainty and are willing to let go of the reins. They trust in their ability to handle whatever life throws their way and don’t feel the need to micromanage every detail.

9. They have difficulty accepting compliments or praise.

People who are truly confident are comfortable receiving compliments and acknowledging their achievements. Insecure people, on the other hand, might deflect compliments, downplay their successes, or feel uncomfortable with praise. This difficulty in accepting compliments often stems from a belief that they’re not worthy of recognition.

10. They’re overly concerned with what other people think of them.

A healthy level of self-awareness is important, but constantly worrying about what other people think is a sign of insecurity. People who are truly confident trust their own judgment and don’t let anyone else’s dictate their actions or decisions. They know that they can’t please everyone, and focus on being true to themselves.

11. They’re quick to anger or defensiveness when challenged.

While everyone gets defensive sometimes, a quick temper or a tendency to lash out when challenged can be a sign of insecurity. People who are truly confident are able to handle criticism and disagreements calmly and rationally. They’re not afraid to admit when they’re wrong and are open to different perspectives.

12. They have difficulty saying no or setting boundaries.

A fear of rejection or conflict can make it difficult for insecure people to say no or set boundaries. They might agree to things they don’t want to do, overcommit themselves, or allow people to take advantage of them. People who are truly confident are able to assert themselves and set healthy boundaries without feeling guilty or ashamed.

13. They constantly seek attention and reassurance on social media.

While social media can be a fun way to connect with people, using it as a platform for constant self-promotion and validation-seeking can be a sign of insecurity. People who are truly confident don’t need to rely on likes, comments, or followers to feel good about themselves. They use social media in moderation and don’t let it dictate their self-worth.

14. They have a hard time admitting their mistakes or apologising.

Everyone makes mistakes, but admitting them and apologising can be difficult for insecure people. They might try to justify their actions, shift blame onto other people, or simply refuse to acknowledge their wrongdoing. People who are truly confident take ownership of their mistakes, apologise sincerely, and learn from their experiences.

15. They have a tendency to gossip or spread rumours about people.

Gossip and negativity are often rooted in insecurity. People who are truly confident don’t feel the need to tear people down to build themselves up. They focus on their own lives and celebrate other people’s success, rather than engaging in gossip or spreading rumours.

16. They have difficulty letting go of past failures or rejections.

Dwelling on past failures or rejections is a sign of insecurity. People who are truly confident learn from their mistakes and move on. They don’t let past setbacks define them or hold them back from pursuing their goals. They focus on the present and the future, not on what could have been.