No relationship is perfect — that’s impossible.
However, there are many that are sub-par because they’re missing some vital components of happy, healthy connections. The good news is that these things don’t tend to be deal-breakers. With a bit of effort on both partners’ behalf, they can be fixed pretty easily.
1. Regular check-ins that go beyond “How was your day?”
We’re all guilty of falling into the “How was your day?” rut. But real connection needs more than that. Try setting aside time each week for a deeper chat. Ask about each other’s goals, fears, or dreams. It might feel a bit awkward at first, but it’s worth it to really understand what’s going on in your partner’s head.
2. Appreciation for the little things
It’s easy to take the everyday stuff for granted. Did your partner make the bed? Thank them. Did they remember to pick up your favourite snack? Let them know you noticed. These small moments of gratitude can add up to a whole lot of warm fuzzies in your relationship.
3. Shared hobbies or interests
Life gets busy, and sometimes we forget to have fun together. Find something you both enjoy — maybe it’s trying new restaurants, hiking, or even just watching terrible movies together. Having a shared activity gives you something to look forward to and talk about.
4. Clear boundaries
Boundaries aren’t about keeping your partner out — they’re about letting them know how to treat you right. Maybe you need alone time after work to decompress, or you’d prefer not to discuss finances at the dinner table. Speak up about what you need. It’s not selfish, it’s healthy!
5. Regular physical affection (that’s not just about sex)
Sex is great, but don’t forget about those everyday touches. A quick hug, holding hands while watching TV, or a kiss goodbye in the morning — these little moments of connection can keep the spark alive even on the busiest days.
6. The ability to disagree without it turning into a fight
Disagreements happen, but they don’t have to turn into World War III. Practice listening without interrupting, and try to understand your partner’s point of view, even if you don’t agree. Remember, it’s you two against the problem, not against each other.
7. Quality time without screens
We’re all glued to our phones these days, but try to carve out some screen-free time together. Maybe it’s during dinner, or the first hour after you both get home. Put those phones away and actually look at each other for a change!
8. Individual growth and independence
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to do everything together. It’s healthy to have your own friends, hobbies, and goals. Supporting each other’s individual growth can actually bring you closer as a couple.
9. Open conversations about money
Money talk can be awkward, but it’s important. Set aside time to discuss your financial goals, concerns, and habits. Being on the same page about money can save you a lot of stress down the road.
10. Playfulness and silliness
Don’t let adulting suck all the fun out of your relationship. Have inside jokes, be goofy together, and don’t take everything so seriously. A little laughter can go a long way in keeping your connection strong.
11. Clear communication about expectations
Mind-reading isn’t a real skill, folks. If you want something, say it. Whether it’s about chores, future plans, or how you like your back scratched, being clear about your expectations can prevent a lot of misunderstandings.
12. Regular date nights
It’s easy to fall into a Netflix and takeaway rut, but make an effort to actually go on dates. It doesn’t have to be fancy — even a picnic in the park can shake things up. The point is to spend quality time focusing on each other.
13. Appreciation for each other’s love language
We all show and receive love differently. Maybe you feel loved through words, while your partner feels it through acts of service. Learn each other’s love languages and make an effort to “speak” them, even if it doesn’t come naturally to you.
14. The ability to apologise sincerely
We all mess up sometimes. Learning to give a genuine apology (without excuses or “but you…”) can go a long way in healing hurt feelings. And remember, actions speak louder than words — show you’re sorry by changing the behaviour.
15. Shared goals and dreams for the future
It’s important to be on the same page about where you’re headed. Take time to discuss your hopes for the future, whether it’s about career, family, or where you want to live. Having shared goals can give your relationship direction and purpose.
16. Respect for each other’s differences
You’re two different people — of course you’re not going to agree on everything! Instead of trying to change each other, learn to appreciate your differences. Maybe your partner’s spontaneity balances out your need for planning, or their optimism helps with your tendency to worry. Embrace the mix!
