Some people don’t need to shout or start drama to come off as rude.
Sometimes, it’s the throwaway comments, the offhand remarks, or the careless phrasing that says more than they realise (or care about). These are the kinds of things that inconsiderate people say without blinking, and if you’ve heard them, you know how frustrating or hurtful they can be. They might not always mean harm, but the lack of thought behind these words is usually pretty telling.
1. “That’s not a big deal, just get over it.”
This shuts someone down before they’ve even finished speaking. It implies that their feelings are an overreaction, as if only certain kinds of pain are valid. Inconsiderate people use this to bypass any emotional labour. Rather than trying to understand, they choose to minimise, which makes the other person feel dismissed and alone in what they’re dealing with.
2. “I’m just being honest.”
There’s a difference between honesty and unnecessary bluntness. Inconsiderate people often use this line to justify saying something unkind or tactless, as if honesty cancels out rudeness. Being honest doesn’t mean saying whatever pops into your head. It means choosing your words with care, especially when you know they might land hard.
3. “You’re just too sensitive, that’s the problem.”
This one is a classic way to pass blame. Instead of owning the impact of what they said, they turn it into your problem, making you feel like your reaction is the issue, not their words. It’s an easy way to avoid accountability, and inconsiderate people often use it to dodge deeper conversations or emotional discomfort. They can’t possibly fathom that they might be the issue.
4. “Well, get over it because that’s just how I am.”
This line is often code for “I’m not willing to change.” It’s used as a shield against growth, usually after someone has pointed out a hurtful pattern or behaviour. People who say this rarely stop to ask how their personality might be affecting other people. It’s a convenient excuse for staying inconsiderate without having to explain why.
5. “You’re lucky I even showed up.”
This turns something as simple as presence into a power move. It makes the other person feel like they should be grateful for the bare minimum. It’s a way of reminding you that their time or energy is more valuable, and that they think doing the decent thing is some sort of favour. Their presence is not a gift, no matter how much they think it is.
6. “That’s not what I meant, so you can’t be mad.”
Intentions matter, but they don’t erase impact. This one is often used to dismiss how someone’s feeling, as if hurt feelings are invalid just because the words weren’t meant to sting. Inconsiderate people lean on this to avoid reflecting on how they come across. It puts the blame back on the listener instead of owning how the message was received.
7. “Other people have it much worse.”
While technically true, this kind of statement is rarely helpful. It doesn’t offer support; it just tells someone their pain doesn’t count because someone else is struggling more. Empathy isn’t a competition. Dismissing someone’s experience by comparing it to someone else’s completely misses the point of being present for them.
8. “I don’t have time for this.”
Sometimes people genuinely don’t have the bandwidth, but inconsiderate people use this line to shut things down when they simply don’t want to deal. It sends the message that your needs or emotions aren’t worth their attention. Even if they’re overwhelmed, there’s a way to say it that doesn’t feel cold or abrupt. This line usually just leaves people feeling brushed off.
9. “You always make everything about you.”
This one often shows up when someone is finally opening up or asking for support. Rather than engaging, the inconsiderate person throws this line out to invalidate and silence them. It’s a quick way to shut someone down and avoid emotional responsibility. And ironically, it usually comes from someone who’s been centring themselves the entire time.
10. “At least I’m not as bad as them.”
This kind of comparison isn’t helpful—it’s deflective. Instead of taking ownership for their actions, inconsiderate people point to someone worse to make themselves seem better by contrast. It’s not about growth; it’s about escape. Plus, it rarely has anything to do with the actual issue being discussed. “Whataboutism” is a favourite tool of people who refuse to take responsibility for their own behaviour.
11. “You’re just overthinking it.”
This makes someone feel silly for caring or trying to be thoughtful. It turns introspection into something to mock, instead of something to understand. Inconsiderate people often use it when they don’t want to deal with complexity. Rather than digging deeper, they brush it off like the issue never existed. A little more thought might come in handy in their life, that’s for sure!
12. “That’s not my problem.”
There’s a difference between setting boundaries and being indifferent. This line usually leans toward the latter, especially when it’s said in a cold or detached tone. Inconsiderate people use this to create emotional distance without acknowledging the impact. It’s a way of stepping back while still sounding superior. If your behaviour is making people feel rotten, that very much is your problem!
13. “You’re being really dramatic right now.”
Even if the situation feels big, this phrase turns genuine emotion into a punchline. It’s another tactic for making someone feel like they’re too much, even when they’re reacting normally. Inconsiderate people throw this around when they don’t want to engage. Instead of trying to understand, they write you off entirely.
14. “Why can’t you just be normal?”
This one hits deep because it’s not just inconsiderate, it’s shaming. It tells someone they’re wrong for being different, for feeling deeply, or for simply existing in a way that doesn’t meet someone else’s expectations. It’s a phrase that often sticks. And inconsiderate people rarely think about the long-term damage that comes from saying it.
15. “That’s your fault for letting it happen, to be honest.”
This one sounds like accountability, but it’s not. It puts all the blame on the person who got hurt, instead of the one who did the hurting or allowed the situation to unfold. Rude people use this to dodge empathy and pass off responsibility. It’s cold, dismissive, and wrapped in a tone of false wisdom. A little sympathy and empathy would do them some good, that’s for sure.
16. “I was just joking! Don’t take everything so seriously, lighten up.”
Humour can be a great way to connect, but inconsiderate people use it to cross lines without facing the consequences. They hide behind the idea of “joking” to excuse things that were clearly hurtful. When someone laughs at your expense and then blames you for not finding it funny, it’s not harmless. It’s a subtle way to avoid ownership while still landing the blow.
