16 Things People Say to Make You Feel Insecure in Your Relationship

Envato Elements

Relationships can be a rollercoaster of emotions, even without outside interference. But sometimes, the comments and opinions of the people around you can throw a serious wrench in the works, leaving you questioning your partner and your connection. Here are 16 phrases that, even if said with good intentions (or not), can eat away at your confidence in your relationship.

1. “Are you sure they’re the right one for you?”

This seems like an innocent question on the surface, but it inevitably plants seeds of doubt in your mind, especially if it comes from someone you’re not extremely close to/trust implicitly to have your best interest at heart. It makes you second-guess your choice and wonder if you’re missing something important. It’s like a tiny crack in your foundation that, if left unchecked, can grow into a gaping hole of insecurity.

2. “They’re far too good-looking for you.”

This backhanded compliment might seem flattering at first, but it quickly turns sour. It implies that you’re somehow less attractive or less worthy than your partner, which is not only rude but can really knock your confidence. It’s a reminder that beauty standards exist, and you’re not measuring up (at least in their eyes!).

3. “I heard they have a reputation…”

Gossip, rumours, and whispers can be toxic, especially when it comes to your relationship. Even if there’s no truth to the rumours, hearing negative things about your partner can plant seeds of suspicion and insecurity. It’s like a poison that seeps into your mind and corrodes your trust.

4. “They’re out of your league.”

Similar to “they’re too good-looking for you,” this really undermines your self-worth and makes you feel like you’re punching above your weight. It suggests that you’re not good enough for your partner, that you should be grateful they’re even with you.

5. “You guys are too different. It won’t last.”

This pessimistic prediction casts a shadow of doubt over your entire relationship. It highlights your differences, making you hyper-aware of any incompatibilities. It’s like a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode and confirm their prophecy.

6. “Remember their ex? They were a catch.”

Ugh, the dreaded ex comparison. This comment not only makes you feel inadequate, but it also dredges up insecurities and encourages jealousy. It’s a low blow that can make you question whether you’ll ever measure up to their past loves.

7. “Don’t you think they’re a little too…” (insert judgmental opinion here).

Whether it’s “too flirty,” “too ambitious,” or “too laid-back,” this type of judgmental comment can make you hyper-aware of your partner’s flaws. It plants seeds of doubt and makes you wonder if they’re truly compatible with you.

8. “I don’t trust them.”

This blunt statement can be incredibly damaging, especially if it comes from someone you trust. It throws a wrench in your own trust and makes you question your partner’s character. Even if you dismiss it initially, it can linger in the back of your mind, creating suspicion and insecurity.

9. “You deserve so much better.”

While this might seem like a supportive comment, it can actually make you feel like you’re settling for less. It implies that your partner isn’t good enough for you, that you deserve someone “better.” It can plant seeds of dissatisfaction and make you question the value of your relationship.

10. “I’ve seen the way they look at other people.”

This comment is designed to ignite jealousy and insecurity. It insinuates that your partner is attracted to other people and might not be fully committed to you. It can trigger a spiral of doubt and suspicion, even if there’s no real evidence to support it.

11. “They’re holding you back.”

This rude remark suggests that your partner is hindering your growth or preventing you from reaching your full potential. It can make you question their support and wonder if they’re truly invested in your happiness. It can also create resentment and tension in the relationship.

12. “You’ve changed so much since you started dating them.”

This observation, even if well-intentioned, can make you feel like you’ve lost yourself in the relationship. It might cause worries about whether you’re compromising your values or losing your individuality. It can also lead to a sense of resentment towards your partner.

13. “They’re taking advantage of you.”

This accusation can be incredibly hurtful and damaging. It suggests that your partner is using you for their own gain, whether it’s financial, emotional, or social. It can make you question their motives and doubt their sincerity.

14. “I’m worried about you.”

While this phrase is often meant to express concern, it can also trigger insecurity. It implies that you’re incapable of making good decisions or that your partner is a bad influence. It can really knock your confidence and make you feel like you need to be rescued.

15. “Have you heard the latest gossip about them?”

Gossip and rumours can be like a poison that slowly destroys your trust and confidence in your relationship. Hearing negative things about your partner, even if they’re not true, can plant seeds of doubt and make you question their character.

16. “They’re not good enough for you.”

This seemingly supportive comment can actually be incredibly damaging. It implies that your partner doesn’t deserve you, that you’re settling for less than you deserve. It can create a sense of dissatisfaction and resentment, making you question the value of your relationship.