Some people always seem like they’ve got life completely figured out, despite the fact that no one does.
They speak with confidence, brush off their problems, and never let on that things might not be as perfect as they seem. But the truth is, most people are just winging it. When someone is trying to convince you (and maybe even themselves) that they’ve got everything under control, they tend to rely on certain phrases. If you hear these, chances are they’re working hard to keep up appearances, even if they’re actually struggling.
1. “Oh yeah, I’m totally fine.”
If someone immediately brushes off concern with a quick “I’m fine,” there’s a good chance they’re not. This is often used as a shield to avoid deeper conversations or admitting that things aren’t great. It’s one of the easiest ways to shut down any further questioning while maintaining the illusion that they’ve got it all handled.
People who don’t want to seem vulnerable will say this without thinking. They might even say it with a forced smile, hoping you won’t ask any follow-up questions. Even if everything is clearly not fine, they’ll stick to this answer rather than risk opening up about what’s really going on.
2. “Just been super busy lately.”
“Busy” is a great cover for when things feel overwhelming, and it’s an easy way to dodge deeper conversations. It makes it sound like they’ve got important things going on, rather than struggling to keep up. Being busy suggests control, responsibility, and purpose, even if, behind the scenes, they’re feeling totally swamped.
In reality, being constantly “busy” might mean they’re avoiding something, whether that’s stress, uncertainty, or just needing a break. Sometimes, they’re not even that busy, but saying so makes them feel like they’re doing something meaningful, even if they’re actually just spinning their wheels.
3. “Yeah, I’ve got a plan.”
Some people say this even when they have no clue what they’re doing. Having a “plan” makes it sound like they’re in control, even if that plan is just a vague idea with no clear direction. It helps them feel like they’re ahead of the game, even when they’re barely keeping up.
They may not want to admit they’re feeling lost, so instead, they’ll act like everything is mapped out, even if they’re just making it up as they go. It’s a way to reassure both themselves and everyone around them that they’re not stuck, even when deep down, they’re struggling to figure things out.
4. “No worries, I’ll figure it out.”
This is code for “I have no idea how I’m going to fix this, but I don’t want to talk about it.” It’s a way of reassuring both themselves and everyone else that everything will work out, even if they’re secretly panicking. It allows them to delay asking for help or admitting they’re in over their head.
People who don’t want to seem like they’re struggling often lean on this one to avoid looking weak. Even when they could use support, they’ll insist they’ve got it under control because admitting uncertainty feels too risky.
5. “I’m just going with the flow.”
Sometimes, this is a genuinely relaxed mindset. Other times, it’s a way to cover up the fact that they don’t have a real plan or are unsure of their next move. It makes it sound like they’re choosing flexibility rather than dealing with uncertainty.
When someone says this too often, it might mean they’re feeling stuck or directionless but don’t want to admit it. “Going with the flow” can sound better than saying, “I have no idea what’s next, and it stresses me out.”
6. “Honestly, I don’t even care.”
If someone repeatedly insists they don’t care about something that clearly matters—whether it’s a job, relationship, or decision—they probably care more than they’re letting on. This is usually used to mask disappointment or uncertainty.
It’s easier to pretend they’re indifferent than to admit they’re struggling with a choice or outcome. By brushing it off, they protect themselves from looking like they’re emotionally invested in something that’s not going their way.
7. “It’s all good, nothing to stress about.”
Sometimes, this is true. Other times, it’s a way of downplaying stress so they don’t seem overwhelmed. They might be repeating it as much for themselves as for you. It’s an automatic response that helps them avoid deeper conversations about what’s really going on.
They could be juggling a lot behind the scenes but don’t want to appear frazzled. So, instead of admitting they’re struggling, they just keep saying everything is fine, hoping no one notices the cracks in their confidence.
8. “I’ve got options.”
This one can be a way to reassure themselves that they have control over a situation. Whether it’s about work, relationships, or personal goals, saying they have “options” can make them feel like they aren’t stuck.
Even if they don’t actually have a backup plan, this helps them avoid admitting they feel unsure about their next steps. It creates a sense of confidence, even if their so-called options aren’t actually realistic or appealing.
9. “Honestly, I’m just focused on myself right now.”
While this can be a genuine personal growth mindset, it’s also sometimes used as a way to explain why things aren’t going as planned. It’s a way to reframe uncertainty as intentional self-reflection.
It sounds more empowering than admitting, “I feel stuck, and I don’t know what I’m doing.” By saying they’re focusing on themselves, they give off the impression that they’re in control, even if they’re just trying to figure things out.
10. “I’m just taking things one day at a time.”
This can be a healthy way to approach life, but it’s also used when someone feels overwhelmed and doesn’t know what else to say. It allows them to avoid thinking too far ahead, which can be comforting when the future feels uncertain.
It often means they’re just trying to get through the day without falling apart. They may not be as calm as they sound, but keeping things vague helps them feel less pressure from other people to have everything figured out.
11. “Everything happens for a reason.”
When things aren’t going well, this can serve as a way to make sense of tough situations. It’s an attempt to frame setbacks or disappointments as part of a bigger plan, even if they don’t fully believe it.
While this mindset can be helpful, it’s also sometimes used as a coping mechanism to avoid admitting frustration or disappointment. Instead of saying, “I have no idea why this happened, and it sucks,” they default to a philosophical approach that helps them avoid sitting with uncomfortable emotions.
12. “I just need to stay positive.”
There’s nothing wrong with a positive mindset, but sometimes, this is used to cover up deeper feelings of doubt or worry. It’s a way of forcing themselves to push through rather than acknowledging that they might be struggling.
They might feel pressure to stay upbeat, even when they don’t really feel that way. Saying it out loud makes it seem like they’ve got everything under control, even if, deep down, they’re overwhelmed and just don’t want to bring people down with their concerns.
13. “I’m just figuring out what I really want.”
This one can mean someone is genuinely taking time to reflect, but it’s also a way to avoid admitting they feel lost. It’s a safer way to say, “I don’t know what I’m doing,” without actually saying those words.
It sounds more intentional than simply being unsure. While self-reflection is important, sometimes this is used to buy time when they don’t want to make a decision, or when they’re waiting for things to magically fall into place.
14. “I’m good—just a little tired.”
“Tired” is often code for stressed, overwhelmed, or emotionally drained. Instead of saying they’re struggling, people will brush it off as fatigue. It’s a subtle way to signal that they’re not okay without actually opening up about what’s wrong.
It’s an easy way to avoid deeper conversations while still acknowledging that something feels off. After all, “tired” is a lot easier to admit than “I’m feeling lost” or “I’m emotionally exhausted.”
15. “I don’t really think about it too much.”
This makes it seem like they’re relaxed and unbothered, but often, the opposite is true. They might actually think about it all the time but don’t want to seem like they’re overanalysing things.
It’s a way of distancing themselves from a problem or situation so they don’t have to talk about it in detail. They might be overthinking everything behind closed doors but don’t want anyone to see that side of them.
16. “Trust me, I’ve got it under control.”
When someone insists they’ve got everything handled, chances are they’re trying to convince both you and themselves. The stronger they say it, the more likely it is that they’re feeling anything but in control.
People who feel like they’re barely holding things together often double down on appearing put-together. The reality? Everyone struggles sometimes—some people just hide it better than others. By insisting that they’ve got it covered, they avoid having to admit that they might need help or that things aren’t as smooth as they appear.
