Some people can take a compliment with a simple “thank you” and move on. Others? Not so much.
Whether it’s deflecting, downplaying, or awkwardly trying to pull the focus away from themselves, there are plenty of ways people struggle to accept kind words about themselves. If you or someone you know finds receiving praise uncomfortable, these responses might sound all too familiar. (And if this is something you’re guilty of, learn to accept nice things about yourself! You deserve it.)
1. “Oh, this? I just threw it on.”
When someone compliments your outfit, instead of just saying thank you, you downplay it, almost as if acknowledging that you took time to put it together would somehow make you seem vain. It’s like you’re trying to pretend you didn’t even care about looking good. But here’s the thing — if you’re wearing it, you clearly picked it for a reason. Why not own it? After all, if you’ve got it, flaunt it, as they say. There’s nothing wrong with embracing the fact that you look great. It doesn’t make you arrogant; it just makes you human.
2. “No way, I look awful today.”
You know when someone tells you that you look great, and instead of accepting it, your immediate response is to argue? Maybe you mention that you’ve had a bad hair day or there’s a stain on your shirt, or you simply feel tired. It’s like you want to reject the compliment before they can possibly take it back. But in reality, most people don’t notice those little imperfections unless you point them out. If someone gives you a compliment, it’s okay to just say, “Thanks!”
3. “You’re just saying that.”
When someone compliments you, your first instinct might be to assume they’re lying or just being polite. You might even give them a suspicious look, as if you’re trying to figure out their hidden agenda. But guess what? Sometimes, a compliment is just a compliment. Not everything is laced with a secret motive. People genuinely appreciate you and want to acknowledge your good qualities, so let them.
4. “I had nothing to do with it.”
Maybe someone praises a recent project or achievement, and instead of soaking in the well-deserved recognition, you immediately start mentioning everyone else involved. While it’s wonderful to recognise teamwork, constantly deflecting credit makes it seem like you didn’t play any role at all. It’s okay to acknowledge the group effort while still recognising your own contribution. You worked hard, and you deserve some recognition for that.
5. “I got lucky.”
When someone compliments your success, it’s tempting to act like it had nothing to do with your effort, skill, or planning. You say, “I just got lucky,” as though everything fell into place without any hard work on your part. But deep down, you know it wasn’t just luck — you put in the time, the effort, and the focus. It’s perfectly okay to take pride in your achievements and accept that you earned them.
6. “Stop, you’re embarrassing me.”
When someone gives you a compliment, and the attention starts to feel too much, you might laugh it off, beg them to stop, or make a joke to deflect. You don’t want to seem ungrateful, but the idea of being in the spotlight makes you uncomfortable. Instead of letting yourself bask in the moment, you try to shut it down as quickly as possible. But compliments are meant to make you feel good, not embarrassed — let yourself enjoy the praise.
7. “Not really, but thanks.”
When you receive a compliment, you might automatically reject it by saying, “Not really,” followed by an awkward thank you. That reflexive rejection of praise can make the other person feel like their compliment wasn’t valued, even though you might be trying to be modest. The truth is, it’s okay to accept kindness without adding self-doubt into the mix. People want to acknowledge your greatness, so you should let them.
8. “You should see me on a bad day.”
Even when you accept a compliment, it often comes with a qualifier. Maybe someone says you look great, and instead of just accepting it, you’ll mention how much worse you look on a typical day. It’s like you feel the need to downplay the compliment by reminding them of your “imperfections.” But why not just accept the kind words for what they are? You deserve compliments, even on your “bad” days.
9. “You’re way better at this than me.”
This response is a classic case of dodging a compliment by deflecting it to someone else. When someone praises your work or talent, you immediately turn it into a compliment for them instead. While it’s lovely to acknowledge other people’s strengths, constantly deflecting praise makes it feel like you can’t stand being acknowledged. Compliments don’t have to be competitive! It’s okay to accept praise without feeling like it diminishes someone else.
10. “I don’t even know what I’m doing.”
When someone praises your skills or performance, you might dismiss it by saying, “I’m just winging it” or “I don’t even know what I’m doing.” While this can seem like a humble response, it also downplays your knowledge and effort. Even if you feel like you’re learning as you go, there’s nothing wrong with recognising the hard work you’ve put into mastering something. You know more than you give yourself credit for.
11. “Let’s not make a big deal out of it.”
When someone gives you credit for something you did, your instinct might be to downplay it by saying, “Let’s not make a big deal out of it.” You act like the work wasn’t significant, even if you poured your heart and soul into it. But here’s the thing — people don’t praise you to make you uncomfortable. They genuinely want to recognise your effort and success. It’s okay to accept that recognition and let other people celebrate your achievements with you.
12. “I wish that were true.”
Source: Unsplash Instead of graciously accepting a compliment, you might turn it into a self-deprecating joke. Someone tells you you’re talented, and you respond with, “Tell that to my bank account” or something similarly dismissive. While it might get a laugh, it also communicates that you don’t believe the compliment. Learn to appreciate the good things people say about you without needing to negate them with humour or self-doubt.
13. “It wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be.”
Source: Unsplash When someone praises something you’ve done, your immediate reaction might be to focus on what could have been better. Even if the outcome was great, you start listing all the ways it could have been improved. Perfectionism can make it hard to celebrate your wins, but sometimes, good is more than enough. Embrace the positive feedback and acknowledge the hard work you put in.
14. “I had a lot of help.”
Source: Unsplash When praised for your success, you immediately point out everyone else who was involved. While it’s important to acknowledge teamwork, completely erasing your own contribution can make it seem like you didn’t play any role in the outcome. There’s a difference between being humble and refusing to accept credit for your hard work. Recognise the collective effort but also take pride in your part.
15. “I don’t know why people keep saying that.”
Source: Unsplash If you’ve received the same compliment multiple times, you might brush it off by saying, “I don’t know why people keep saying that.” Instead of considering that the compliment might be genuine, you assume people are just being nice or saying it out of habit. If enough people are complimenting you on something, it’s worth considering that it might actually be true. Don’t sell yourself short.
16. “Okay, now you’re just lying.”
Source: Unsplash When someone gives you a compliment that feels too generous, your immediate reaction might be to joke, “Okay, now you’re just lying.” Even if it’s said in jest, this response shows that you struggle to accept kind words at face value. But most people don’t take the time to compliment you unless they mean it. When someone praises you, take it as a sign that they genuinely appreciate you, and accept it without doubt.
