Some people talk before their brains can catch up, and the results are… entertaining, to say the least.
They have hilariously bad takes and make some truly baffling statements that can really get them into trouble. It’s amusing to watch — when it’s not infuriating, that is. Here are some of the most ridiculous things people with big mouths and small brains blurt out that leave everyone else wondering what on earth is wrong with them.
1. “I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure that’s wrong.”
Oh, great—a medical expert with zero qualifications. This line usually comes after someone has Googled a symptom for two minutes and decided they know better than science. Thanks for the “advice,” but we’ll stick to actual professionals.
2. “If you just smile more, life will be better.”
Nothing solves complex life problems like forced smiling, right? People who say this have likely never faced a real struggle—or they have and just don’t understand that emotions aren’t light switches. It’s not just annoying; it’s completely tone-deaf.
3. “I can say that because I have [insert distant connection here].”
You know the type—they think their one college roommate or third cousin gives them the right to say literally anything about a topic. Spoiler: It doesn’t. Having a loose connection doesn’t make ignorant comments less ignorant.
4. “I don’t see colour; everyone’s the same to me.”
This one is said with the kind of confidence only a big mouth could muster. Ignoring people’s unique identities isn’t the deep wisdom they think it is. Newsflash: acknowledging differences is part of respecting them.
5. “Oh, I could have done that better.”
This is usually said while watching someone else’s hard work, as if they’re auditioning for “Armchair Expert of the Year.” It’s easy to claim you could do better when you’re not the one actually doing it. Let’s see you try, Steve.
6. “I don’t mean to brag, but…”
Yes, they do mean to brag. This is just their way of pretending they’re humble while they launch into an unnecessarily long story about their “accomplishments.” Bonus points if the “achievement” is something completely random like, “I once ate 50 chicken nuggets in 10 minutes.”
7. “You’re too sensitive.”
Translation: “I don’t want to be accountable for what I just said.” People who use this line think it absolves them of their words, but it only makes them look dismissive. Maybe if they were more thoughtful, the other person wouldn’t feel offended in the first place.
8. “You’re lucky you don’t have my problems.”
This line is the ultimate conversation hijack. Instead of showing empathy, they turn every situation into a competition about who has it worse. Pro tip: nobody wins the “My Life is Harder” Olympics, so maybe just listen next time?
9. “You shouldn’t feel that way.”
Ah, yes—the emotion police have arrived to tell you how you’re allowed to feel. Feelings don’t work that way, Karen. Telling someone they “shouldn’t” feel something just invalidates them and makes you look thoughtless. Next time, maybe try, “I’m here for you.”
10. “It’s just common sense.”
Source: Unsplash People who throw this phrase around love to sound smarter than they are. What they forget is that “common sense” isn’t so common—especially when they’re the ones saying it. Nine times out of ten, they’re just oversimplifying something they don’t understand themselves.
11. “You can’t trust the experts.”
Source: Unsplash Oh, good—a random conspiracy theorist who thinks their gut feeling is more reliable than decades of research. If they start telling you about lizard people or secret government weather machines, it’s time to nod politely and walk away slowly.
12. “I’m just playing devil’s advocate.”
Source: Unsplash No one asked for Satan’s lawyer, and yet here they are. People who “play devil’s advocate” are often just trying to argue for the sake of arguing. It’s exhausting, unnecessary, and rarely as clever as they think it is.
13. “I’m not racist, but…”
Source: Unsplash Nothing good has ever followed this phrase. It’s the ultimate red flag that whatever comes next is going to be offensive, ignorant, or both. If you have to qualify your statement like this, it’s probably better left unsaid.
14. “I did my own research.”
Source: Unsplash Translation: “I spent 20 minutes on YouTube, and now I’m an expert.” This phrase is usually accompanied by an absurd theory or “facts” from a sketchy website. Actual research involves peer-reviewed studies, not a quick Google search. Trust the professionals, please.
15. “It must be nice to have all that free time.”
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s aimed at someone pursuing a hobby, going on holiday, or simply having a nap, this passive-aggressive gem reeks of bitterness. Newsflash: other people’s time management isn’t your business. Maybe instead of judging, try scheduling some free time for yourself?
16. “I’m not gossiping—it’s just the truth.”
People love to cloak their gossip in the guise of “truth-telling.” But if you’re spilling someone else’s tea without their permission, it’s still gossip. Big mouths often can’t resist this one, forgetting that discretion is the real virtue here. Next time, zip it.
