Dealing with people who radiate an aura of self-importance can be… challenging (and that’s putting it nicely).
While a healthy dose of self-confidence is admirable, self-absorption can quickly become grating. It’s not just about vanity or narcissism; sometimes, people get so wrapped up in their own worlds that they unintentionally alienate those around them. Here are some common behaviours that might mean someone is a bit too focused on themselves, and how those behaviours can impact their relationships.
1. They constantly make everything about themselves.
Source: Unsplash It’s like they have a magical ability to turn any conversation into a monologue about their own experiences, achievements, or problems. Your exciting news about a promotion? They’ll find a way to tell you about a time they got an even bigger promotion. Your heartfelt story about a personal struggle? They’ll somehow make it about a similar (but obviously more dramatic) challenge they faced.
2. They rarely ask questions about anyone else.
A conversation with a self-absorbed person often feels one-sided. They might listen to your stories, but their follow-up questions are usually minimal or non-existent. They seem more interested in waiting for their turn to talk than genuinely engaging with what you have to say.
3. They interrupt and talk over people.
Self-absorbed people often have difficulty waiting for their turn to speak. They interrupt, talk over people, and finish sentences for them. This can be incredibly frustrating and disrespectful, as it conveys the message that their thoughts and opinions are more important than yours.
4. They dominate conversations and rarely give other people a chance to speak.
When you’re with a self-absorbed person, you might find yourself struggling to get a word in edgewise. They tend to dominate conversations, steering the topic towards themselves and their interests. They might even cut you off or change the subject abruptly if you try to share something of your own.
5. They are oblivious to social cues.
Self-absorbed people often miss subtle cues that indicate disinterest or boredom in people. They might continue talking at length, oblivious to the fact that their audience is checking their phones or subtly trying to disengage from the conversation.
6. They have a hard time empathising with people.
It’s not that self-absorbed people are incapable of empathy, but it might take a bit more effort for them to truly understand and connect with another person’s emotions. Their focus tends to be more inward, so they might not always be attuned to other people’s feelings and needs.
7. They need a lot of validation and reassurance.
Self-absorbed people might constantly fish for compliments or reassurance from people. They might boast about their achievements, subtly (or not so subtly) looking for affirmation of their worth. This constant need for external validation can be exhausting for those around them.
8. They are quick to take offence and hold grudges.
It’s not uncommon for self-absorbed people to be easily offended or hurt by perceived slights. They might take things personally, even if the comment or action wasn’t directed at them. Additionally, they might hold grudges for extended periods, making it difficult to resolve conflicts or move forward.
9. They struggle to accept criticism or feedback.
Even well-intentioned feedback can be met with defensiveness or outright denial by self-absorbed people. They might see any critique as a personal attack, rather than an opportunity for growth and improvement. This can make it difficult to have open and honest communication with them.
10. They tend to blame everyone else for their problems.
Self-absorbed individuals might have difficulty taking responsibility for their mistakes or shortcomings. They often find it easier to blame external factors or other people for their problems. This can be frustrating for those around them, who might feel unfairly blamed or scapegoated.
11. They often have an inflated sense of entitlement.
Some self-absorbed people believe they deserve special treatment or that the rules don’t apply to them. They expect everyone to cater to their needs and desires, without considering the impact on those around them. This sense of entitlement can lead to conflicts and resentment in relationships.
12. They tend to be competitive and try to outdo everyone.
Self-absorbed people might constantly compare themselves to the people around them and feel the need to prove they’re superior. They might try to one-up you with stories of their own achievements or dismiss your accomplishments as insignificant. This competitive nature can create a toxic dynamic in relationships.
13. They often make promises they don’t keep.
Because they’re so focused on themselves, self-absorbed people might make promises without fully considering whether they can follow through. They might overcommit themselves or simply forget about their commitments, leaving people feeling disappointed and let down.
14. They can be insensitive to other people’s feelings.
Self-absorbed people might say hurtful things or act in ways that are insensitive to other people’s feelings. They might not realise the impact of their words or actions, or they might simply not care. This can create a sense of emotional distance and make it difficult to form deep connections with them.
15. They often prioritise their own needs and desires over other people’s.
In relationships, self-absorbed people might put their own needs and desires first, without much consideration for their partners or friends. They expect people to accommodate their schedules, preferences, and whims, even if it means inconveniencing people.
16. They can be manipulative and controlling.
In some cases, self-absorbed people might use manipulation or controlling tactics to get what they want. They might guilt-trip people, play the victim, or use emotional blackmail to achieve their goals. This can be emotionally draining and damaging to relationships.
