When you’re just getting to know someone new and feel things out, it’s important to start as you mean to go on.
Sure, you don’t want to come on too strong or be too intense, but there’s nothing wrong with setting boundaries from day dot — in fact, it’s important that you do. The person you’re seeing needs to know what’s acceptable and what isn’t, and you can make that clear by saying these things. If they don’t respond well, they’re obviously not the one for you!
1. Digital boundaries
“I enjoy our chats, but I typically don’t check messages during work hours.” Setting clear digital boundaries helps prevent the anxiety of constant phone-checking and mismatched response expectations. It’s perfectly normal to have times when you’re not available, and most people appreciate knowing when they can expect to hear back from you. This simple clarity can prevent unnecessary stress and help maintain your productivity while showing you’re still interested.
2. Space and independence
“I like having dedicated me-time to recharge – it helps me be more present when we’re together.” This opens up an honest conversation about personal space without making the other person feel rejected. Your alone time might include anything from yoga classes to reading or just quiet reflection, and explaining this helps normalise independence in dating. Remember, maintaining your individual identity actually strengthens your ability to form healthy connections.
3. Time management
“I’d love to hang out! I usually plan my week in advance – shall we look at next weekend?” This approach shows enthusiasm while maintaining your schedule and self-respect. It’s totally okay to need advance notice for dates, and it actually shows you value both your time and theirs. Planning ahead also tends to lead to more meaningful dates since both people have time to prepare and look forward to the meeting.
4. Financial clarity
“I’m comfortable splitting the bill” or “I’d like to take turns treating each other.” Money conversations might feel awkward, but they’re much easier to have early on than after resentment builds. Being upfront about financial boundaries helps both people feel more relaxed and prevents assumptions that could lead to uncomfortable situations. This kind of honesty often leads to more creative and thoughtful date planning that both parties can comfortably afford.
5. Physical pace
“I prefer to take things slow physically – I want to build a connection first.” While it might feel vulnerable to express this, being clear about physical boundaries early on actually creates a stronger foundation of trust. Everyone has different comfort levels with physical intimacy, and expressing yours helps ensure both people feel safe and respected. This clarity often leads to deeper emotional connections and mutual understanding.
6. Social media limits
“I like to keep my social media private until I know someone better.” In our hyper-connected world, it’s perfectly reasonable to want to maintain some digital privacy while getting to know someone. This boundary helps prevent the common pitfall of social media stalking and overthinking. Plus, discovering things about each other through conversation rather than scrolling often leads to more authentic connections.
7. Dating other people
“I want to be upfront – I’m currently dating other people as I figure out what I want.” This transparency helps prevent misunderstandings and allows both people to make informed decisions about their involvement. It’s better to be honest about seeing other people than to have it come up accidentally later. This openness often leads to valuable conversations about relationship expectations and goals.
8. Family introduction timing
“I prefer to wait a bit before introducing someone to my family.” Family dynamics can add extra pressure to new relationships, so it’s okay to want to establish a solid foundation first. This boundary helps maintain a natural progression in your relationship without external pressures. It also shows you take family introductions seriously and value those relationships enough to want the timing to be right.
9. Emotional availability
“I’m excited to get to know you, but I like to take my time opening up emotionally.” Building trust takes time, and it’s healthy to pace yourself when sharing personal information and feelings. This boundary helps create a foundation of mutual respect and understanding. Taking your time to open up often leads to more meaningful and lasting connections.
10. Future talk timing
“Let’s focus on getting to know each other before discussing long-term plans.” While it’s natural to think about the future, rushing into heavy conversations can put unnecessary pressure on a new connection. This boundary helps keep things light and enjoyable while you’re still getting to know each other. It allows space for natural development without the weight of expectations.
11. Weekend priorities
“Saturdays are usually my family/friends day, but I’d love to plan something for Sunday.” Having established routines and commitments shows you have a full, balanced life. This boundary helps maintain important existing relationships while making space for new ones. It also demonstrates healthy priorities and time management, which are attractive qualities in a potential partner.
12. Sleep schedule respect
“I try to wrap up calls by 10 PM since I’m an early bird.” Sleep is crucial for wellbeing, and protecting your rest shows self-respect and maturity. Setting this boundary early helps prevent late-night calls or texts that might disrupt your routine. Plus, being clear about your schedule helps the other person plan appropriate times to connect.
13. Personal values
“Just so you know, I don’t drink/smoke, but I’m comfortable if you do.” Being upfront about lifestyle choices helps avoid awkward situations and shows confidence in your values. This kind of boundary allows both people to make informed decisions about compatibility. It also opens the door for honest discussions about other important values and preferences.
14. Home space boundaries
“I prefer meeting in public places until we know each other better.” This boundary isn’t just about safety – it’s about creating comfortable spaces for getting to know each other. Meeting in public allows both people to feel more relaxed and in control of the situation. It also provides natural endings to dates and prevents potential pressure about invitations inside.
15. Communication style
“I’m more of a texter than a caller, but I’m happy to jump on quick calls when needed.” Everyone has different communication preferences, and being clear about yours helps prevent misunderstandings. This boundary helps set realistic expectations for day-to-day contact. Finding a communication rhythm that works for both people early on can prevent frustration later.
16. Personal responsibilities
“I have commitments (work/study/kids) that need to come first, but I’m excited to find time for dating too.” Being honest about your priorities shows maturity and helps manage expectations from the start. This boundary helps ensure that dating enhances rather than disrupts your life. It also attracts people who respect and support your responsibilities rather than competing with them.
