Everyone knows someone who makes promises they never keep, commits to plans they’ll definitely cancel, and somehow always has an excuse.
Unreliable people rarely admit they’re unreliable, but their words give them away every single time. They’ve mastered the art of sounding like they’ll follow through, even when you know deep down they won’t, and it’s almost laughable when their best-laid plans go up in flames yet again. If these phrases sound familiar, chances are, you’re dealing with someone who’s about to let you down… yet again.
1. “I’ll let you know closer to the time.”
This is code for “I’m not coming, but I don’t want to say it yet.” Instead of committing, they leave it open-ended, so when the day arrives, they can just… disappear. It’s their way of keeping the door open without having to follow through, making sure they have an easy way out when they inevitably flake. If someone actually wants to make plans, they’ll confirm. When someone keeps things vague, they’re already preparing their excuse. The reality is, they don’t want to commit in case something better comes along, or they simply don’t care enough to lock it in.
2. “I totally forgot — remind me next time!”
Translation: “I didn’t forget. I just didn’t prioritise it.” Unreliable people act like it’s your job to keep them accountable, putting the responsibility on you instead of owning their own commitments. It’s a convenient way to shift the blame, making it seem like they meant to be reliable but just needed a little help. If they really cared, they’d set a reminder, write it down, or just remember like everyone else does. Instead, they act like their forgetfulness is a cute little quirk rather than a pattern of letting people down. In reality, they just don’t think it’s important enough to keep track of.
3. “I’m on my way!”
Are they, though? Or are they still in bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to come up with a last-minute excuse? If an unreliable person says this, there’s a very high chance they haven’t even left the house yet and are just stalling for time. This is often followed by “Sorry, traffic was awful!” even though Google Maps shows the roads are completely clear. It’s a classic delay tactic, buying them time to decide if they’re actually going to make the effort or just give up entirely.
4. “I’m so sorry! I just got so busy!”
Unreliable people love using busyness as their get-out-of-jail-free card. It makes them sound important while dodging responsibility at the same time. They assume that if they say they were busy, you won’t be able to argue with them. The reality is that literally everyone’s busy. Reliable people make time for what matters, unreliable people use it as an excuse. If something was truly important to them, they would have found a way to fit it in, no matter how hectic their schedule was.
5. “Let’s catch up soon!”
This isn’t an actual invitation, it’s a polite way of avoiding commitment. It sounds friendly, but there’s zero intention behind it. They’ll say this today, and in six months, they’ll say it again… still without making any real effort. People who genuinely want to catch up don’t just say it — they actually make it happen. If someone constantly throws this phrase around but never follows through, it’s because they don’t actually care enough to schedule time with you.
6. “I was just about to message you!”
No, they weren’t. This is just their way of pretending they hadn’t completely forgotten about you. Somehow, every time you reach out, they were just about to do the same. Convenient, right? It’s a way of covering up their lack of effort without actually doing anything to change it. Reliable people don’t need reminding to show up in your life. They’re there because they want to be, not because they got caught out and needed to do damage control.
7. “Something came up last minute.”
Source: Unsplash Maybe once or twice, this is believable, but if someone constantly has things “come up” right before plans, it’s not bad luck—it’s a pattern. They may have even planned on cancelling from the start but waited until the last moment to pull out. Most of the time, something didn’t just “come up” — they just found a better offer or decided they couldn’t be bothered. And instead of admitting that, they throw out a vague excuse that makes them sound like a victim of circumstance.
8. “You know how bad I am at replying!”
Source: Unsplash Yes, you do know… because it happens all the time. This is just them admitting they’re unreliable while acting like it’s just part of their personality. They want you to excuse their lack of effort instead of holding them accountable. Replying to a message takes seconds. If someone can post on social media, binge-watch a show, or scroll for hours, they can definitely reply. They just don’t want to, which is fair enough, but be honest about it!
9. “I swear I’ll make it up to you.”
Source: Unsplash Will they, though? Because history says otherwise. This is meant to keep you from getting too annoyed by dangling a future favour that will probably never happen. It’s their way of avoiding consequences without actually changing anything. By the time they break their next promise, the old one will already be forgotten. It’s a cycle, and they know it. The reality is, they don’t plan on making anything up to you — they just hope you won’t press the issue.
10. “I’ll try my best!”
Source: Unsplash Another classic non-commitment. “I’ll try my best” sounds positive, but it actually means “I have no intention of trying at all.” It lets them sound like they care without having to put in any effort. If they really wanted to do something, they wouldn’t just “try” — they’d do it. Reliable people don’t talk in vague promises; they follow through without hesitation.
11. “I meant to call you!”
Source: Unsplash This is just an unreliable person’s way of pretending they care. They act like their intention should count just as much as their actions, when in reality, meaning to call and actually calling are two very different things. They assume that by saying they thought about it, you’ll feel reassured, even though it changes absolutely nothing. Reliable people don’t rely on intentions to maintain friendships or relationships — they take action. If someone repeatedly tells you they meant to call or meant to reach out but never actually does, it’s because you weren’t high enough on their priority list to make it happen.
12. “I don’t want to overcommit!”
Source: Unsplash Fair enough — except unreliable people use this as an excuse to never commit to anything at all. They make it sound like they’re being thoughtful and considerate when, in reality, they just don’t want to be tied down to any obligations. Of course, no one should overcommit, but there’s a big difference between being mindful of your limits and simply avoiding responsibility. This one often comes from people who want the freedom to back out of things without having to admit that they never planned to show up in the first place.
13. “I thought we were keeping it casual!”
Source: Unsplash This one usually comes up when they’ve flaked on something important, like your birthday or a big event, but don’t want to admit they messed up. Instead of apologising properly, they downplay the situation to make it seem like you’re the one expecting too much. They’ll act like it was never that serious, or claim they “didn’t realise” it mattered to you. But deep down, you know they just didn’t want to put in the effort. This is a classic tactic used to deflect blame and avoid taking responsibility.
14. “You know me — I’m just all over the place!”
Unreliable people love using their own chaos as an excuse. They make their lack of effort sound quirky instead of selfish, as if their forgetfulness and flakiness are just part of their charm. They want you to see it as a personality trait rather than a repeated pattern of disrespecting other people’s time. But let’s be honest — if they can show up for work, remember things that benefit them, and prioritise the people they really care about, they’re not actually that scattered. They’re just selective about where they put their energy, and unfortunately, you’re not on the priority list.
15. “I really thought I could make it!”
Translation: “I didn’t plan ahead, but I hoped it would somehow work out anyway.” This is just a way of pretending they had good intentions when really, they never made the effort in the first place. Reliable people know their limits and don’t make promises they can’t keep. Unreliable people overpromise, underdeliver, and act shocked when it doesn’t work out. Instead of taking accountability, they try to make it seem like their failure to follow through was just bad luck, rather than the result of poor planning.
16. “You’re being dramatic — I said I’d make it next time!”
Unreliable people hate being called out. Instead of admitting they let you down, they’ll flip it back on you, acting like you’re the one making a big deal out of it. They downplay the disappointment, making you feel like you’re overreacting instead of just expecting them to keep their word. They’ll act like their inconsistency is totally fine, and if you’re upset about it, that’s the real problem. It’s a way of shifting the focus off their own behaviour and making you feel guilty for holding them accountable. But the truth is, expecting reliability isn’t “dramatic” — it’s basic respect.
