The whole “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” trope seems a bit old-school and tired these days.
Source: Unsplash However, it still feels true even in 2024. There are certain things we keep explaining over and over, hoping that if we say it just the right way, the men in our lives (and men in general!) will finally get it. Here are some of the things we’re tired of having to spell out all the time.
1. “No” is a complete sentence.
Source: Unsplash Whether we’re turning down a date, another drink, or saying we don’t want to get physical, “no” means “no” every single time. It doesn’t require justification or explanation, and we don’t want you to try to convince us to change it into a “yes.” If a guy can’t respect that simple boundary, that’s a red flag, not a challenge.
2. We don’t “friend zone” guys we’re not interested in.
Being genuine friends with someone doesn’t mean we’re secretly hoping for more or stringing them along. Sometimes, a woman just genuinely enjoys your company as a friend without wanting a romantic relationship.
3. How our periods work (and that they’re not gross)
Half the population gets a period, guys – it shouldn’t be this taboo! Squeamishness over natural bodily functions and thinking PMS = irrational mood swings just shows ignorance. Time to get over it and normalize talking about this stuff.
4. Catcalling isn’t a compliment, it’s harassment.
Source: Unsplash Yelling suggestive comments at a stranger isn’t flattering, it’s degrading and threatening. We don’t owe you a smile or a response. The appropriate response is to mind your own business and treat women with respect.
5. We don’t dress for your attention.
Source: Pexels Whether we rock a killer power suit, sweatpants, or a revealing little dress, it’s about how we want to express ourselves. It’s not an invitation to stare, comment, or judge our worth based on our outfit.
6. We shouldn’t have to fear for our safety when we’re alone.
Holding keys between knuckles, avoiding walking alone at night, those little “safety checks” we do — it shouldn’t be this way. We shouldn’t have to live in fear that our basic right to exist in public as women puts us at risk, but that’s the reality, and it’s super demoralizing at times.
7. “Mansplaining” is a real thing.
Source: Unsplash Don’t assume we don’t know something just because we’re women. Condescendingly over-explaining things we’re experts in, from our own jobs to our own bodies, is annoying and disrespectful of our intelligence.
8. The wage gap exists, and it’s not fair.
Source: Unsplash This isn’t a myth or women being “bad negotiators.” Systemic sexism plays a significant role in the fact that women earn less for the same work. As of 2023, CIPD reports that the UK’s wage gap sits at about 7.7%, which is not okay. Dismissing this as “not a real issue” contributes to the problem.
9. “Not all men…” isn’t a helpful response.
We know not all men are bad actors, but when women talk about negative experiences with sexism, derailing the conversation with “not all men” shuts down important discussions and minimizes the very real problem of gender inequality.
10. Emotional labour is exhausting.
Women often shoulder the invisible burden of managing the emotional needs of the household, BBC News notes. Remembering birthdays, planning social events, sensing when people are upset…it’s work! Assuming we’ll just naturally do all this without recognition or help? Unfair.
11. Equality doesn’t mean sameness.
Men and women are different, and that’s okay! Equality is about being treated with equal respect, having equal opportunities, and valuing our different strengths, not about forcing everyone to be the same.
12. We are more than just our looks.
There’s nothing wrong with giving a genuine compliment, but constantly focusing on a woman’s appearance reduces her to an object. We are intelligent, interesting, capable people with lots to offer beyond whether you find us physically attractive.
13. We can be both strong and feminine.
Being a strong leader, assertive, and ambitious doesn’t make us “less of a woman.” Femininity isn’t about being passive or submissive. We can embody strength and softness simultaneously, and those traits aren’t mutually exclusive.
14. We don’t “owe” you anything because you were nice to us.
Source: Unsplash Being a decent human being shouldn’t come with the expectation of a romantic reward. If we’re not interested, it’s not because we don’t appreciate the kind gesture, we just don’t feel a spark. Learn to accept that gracefully, rather than lashing out or insulting us because your ego is bruised. Rejection happens to the best of us sometimes.
15. Tone policing gets us nowhere.
Source: Unsplash Calling a woman “bossy,” “shrill,” or “emotional” when she’s being assertive is a way to silence and discredit women’s voices. Men rarely get this critique when they speak forcefully. Let’s focus on the content of what’s being said, not the tone in which it’s delivered.
16. Harassment in the workplace is NOT just harmless flirting.
Source: Unsplash Unwanted touch, comments about our bodies, inappropriate advances in the workplace – these are about power and control, not playful teasing. This behaviour is illegal and creates toxic, unsafe working environments for women.
