While a little leadership can be a good thing, there’s a line between being assertive and being overbearing. Here are some telltale signs of an overly domineering person – those traits that might make you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells. If you recognise them, you’re dealing with someone who’s far too bossy.
1. They make decisions without consulting anyone.
They’ll often act unilaterally, deciding what’s best for everyone without bothering to get input from the people involved. They might assume they know what’s best or simply not care about other people’s opinions. This can leave you feeling ignored, undervalued, and like your voice doesn’t matter. It can also lead to resentment and conflict, as people feel like they’re not being heard or respected.
2. They interrupt and talk over people constantly.
It’s like they have a one-track mind, and that track only has room for their own voice. They might interrupt you mid-sentence, finish your thoughts for you, or simply talk over you as if you’re not even there. This behaviour shows a lack of respect for other people’s opinions and a belief that their own thoughts are more important. It can be incredibly frustrating and can make you feel like you’re not being heard or valued.
3. They criticise and belittle people.
Domineering people often use criticism as a way to assert their power and control. They might nitpick your work, your appearance, or your choices. They might also make snide comments, sarcastic remarks, or outright insults. This can be hurtful and demoralising, and it can make you feel insecure and unsure of yourself. It can also create a toxic environment where people feel like they have to walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting the domineering person.
4. They micromanage and try to control every detail.
From the way you dress to the way you do your job, they want to control every aspect of your life. They might offer unsolicited advice, criticise your methods, or simply take over and do things themselves. This can be suffocating and can make you feel like you’re incapable of making your own decisions. It can also lead to resentment and conflict, as people feel like they’re being treated like children.
5. They have a hard time delegating tasks.
They believe that they’re the only ones who can do things right, so they’re reluctant to delegate tasks or trust people to take the initiative. This can lead to burnout, as they try to do everything themselves, and it can also stifle the growth and development of those around them. A truly good leader knows how to empower people and delegate tasks effectively.
6. They have a short temper and are easily frustrated.
Domineering people often have a low tolerance for frustration and a short fuse. They might get angry or upset easily, lash out at people, or become passive-aggressive. This unpredictable behaviour can create a tense and uncomfortable atmosphere, and it can make it difficult to have a healthy relationship with them. It’s important to remember that you’re not responsible for their emotional outbursts, and you don’t have to tolerate their bad behaviour.
7. They’re always right.
In their minds, they’re never wrong. They might refuse to admit mistakes, apologise for their behaviour, or even acknowledge that there might be other valid perspectives. This stubbornness and unwillingness to compromise can be incredibly frustrating and can lead to resentment and conflict. It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, and being able to admit them and learn from them is a sign of strength, not weakness.
8. They have a hard time letting go of control.
Even when they’re not in a position of authority, they still try to control the situation. They might offer unsolicited advice, make decisions for people, or try to manipulate the outcome of events. This need for control can stem from insecurity, a fear of failure, or simply a desire to feel powerful. It’s important to set boundaries with these individuals and assert your own autonomy. You have the right to make your own decisions, even if they don’t agree with them.
9. They take credit for other people’s ideas or achievements.
Domineering people often have a knack for taking credit where it isn’t due. They might present someone else’s idea as their own, downplay other people’s contributions, or simply fail to acknowledge the hard work of those around them. This can be incredibly frustrating and demoralising for those who are actually responsible for the success.
10. They have a hard time apologising or admitting they’re wrong.
Even when they’ve clearly made a mistake or hurt someone’s feelings, domineering people often struggle to apologise or admit they’re wrong. They might try to justify their actions, shift blame, or simply ignore the issue altogether. This lack of accountability can be incredibly damaging to relationships, as it erodes trust and creates resentment. It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, and being able to admit them and apologise is a sign of strength, not weakness.
11. They’re highly competitive and always need to win.
A healthy dose of competition can be motivating, but domineering people take it to the extreme. They always need to be the best, the smartest, the most successful. They might see everything as a competition, even in situations where there is no clear winner or loser. This can make them difficult to be around, as they’re constantly trying to one-up people and prove their superiority. It can also lead to unhealthy behaviours like sabotage, cheating, or even aggression.
12. They have a tendency to blame people for their problems.
When things don’t go their way, domineering people are quick to point fingers and assign blame. They rarely take responsibility for their own shortcomings or mistakes. They might blame their colleagues for a failed project, their partner for their unhappiness, or even external circumstances for their lack of success. This blaming behaviour is not only unfair, but it also prevents them from learning from their mistakes and growing as individuals.
13. They are often inflexible and resistant to change.
Domineering people tend to have a rigid mindset and a strong preference for routine and predictability. They might be resistant to new ideas, different perspectives, or any changes that disrupt their established way of doing things. This inflexibility can stifle creativity, innovation, and growth, both in their personal lives and in their professional endeavours. It’s important to remember that change is a natural part of life, and being adaptable is a valuable skill.
14. They often have a hidden insecurity.
Despite their outward confidence and bravado, domineering people often harbour deep-seated insecurities. They might be afraid of being perceived as weak, incompetent, or unlovable. This insecurity can fuel their need for control, as they try to compensate for their perceived shortcomings by dominating people. It’s important to remember that everyone has insecurities, and recognising them is the first step towards overcoming them. Domineering behaviour is often a mask for a fragile ego, and understanding this can help you empathise with their struggles while still setting healthy boundaries.
15. They have a tendency to isolate themselves from other people.
While they might appear to be social butterflies, domineering people can actually be quite isolated. Their controlling behaviour, their unwillingness to compromise, and their tendency to put people down can push people away. They might surround themselves with people who are willing to tolerate their behaviour, but those relationships are often shallow and one-sided. This isolation can lead to loneliness, depression, and a further need for control.
16. They lack self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
Domineering people often lack self-awareness and emotional intelligence. They might not be aware of how their behaviour affects people, or they might simply not care. They might also have difficulty understanding and managing their own emotions, leading to outbursts, mood swings, and other unpredictable behaviours. This lack of self-awareness and emotional intelligence can make it difficult to have healthy, fulfilling relationships with them.
