Trust is something that should be earned, not handed out freely.
And while most people have good intentions (or so we hope), there are certain patterns of behaviour that should always raise red flags. Maybe it’s the little things they do that set off your internal alarms, or it’s just a gut feeling you have that, deep down, they’re the opposite of a good egg. Either way, don’t ignore the warning signs! It’s a lot wiser not to trust these types of people.
1. People who constantly pass the blame
If someone never takes responsibility when things go wrong and always finds a way to pin it on other people, you’re looking at a trust issue in the making. Blame-shifting is a sign of poor accountability and often masks deeper insecurity or manipulation. They might seem harmless at first, but after a while, you’ll notice a pattern: nothing is ever their fault. And if something goes wrong while you’re involved, you’ll likely be the one thrown under the bus.
2. People who gossip relentlessly
If someone shares other people’s private stories without hesitation, they’ll almost certainly do the same with yours. Gossip might seem casual, but it reveals how someone treats other people’s trust when they’re not around. It’s not just about what they say—it’s about how little they value discretion or respect. If someone can’t keep other people’s names out of their mouth, assume your own name won’t be safe either.
3. People who lie about small things
Even minor lies—about where they were, who they were with, or things that didn’t really matter—are a red flag. If someone lies when they don’t have to, what will they do when the stakes are higher? Tiny lies may not seem damaging at first, but they eat away at trust as time goes on. If someone sees lying as normal, it won’t take much for bigger lies to follow.
4. People who never apologise
Refusing to apologise is a sign of pride and emotional immaturity. If someone hurts you, lets you down, or crosses a line but can’t admit it, trust can’t grow between you. Apologies aren’t just words—they’re a sign of respect and accountability. Someone who avoids them is telling you that your feelings aren’t important enough to acknowledge.
5. People who treat other people badly when they think no one’s watching
The way someone treats waitstaff, receptionists, or anyone in a “lower power” position says more than how they treat their friends. If they’re rude, dismissive, or demeaning to other people, it’s a huge character cue. It suggests their kindness is conditional, not consistent. And if they’re only nice when it benefits them, that trust won’t hold when things get tough.
6. People who flatter constantly but never follow through
There’s a difference between a genuine compliment and over-the-top flattery designed to manipulate. If someone always says the right thing but never shows up when it matters, that’s not kindness—it’s strategy. Pay attention to consistency between words and actions. Flattery might feel good in the moment, but empty praise without support means their loyalty is surface-level at best.
7. People who guilt-trip you into doing things
Someone who regularly uses guilt to get their way isn’t interested in connection—they’re interested in control. Guilt-tripping is a subtle but powerful form of manipulation that destroys healthy boundaries over time. Trust can’t thrive where pressure replaces consent. If you constantly feel emotionally cornered, it’s a clear sign the relationship is imbalanced and not safe.
8. People who never share anything real about themselves
Trust goes both ways. If someone always wants your openness, support, or vulnerability, but offers nothing in return, it’s worth asking why. Emotionally unavailable people often create one-sided dynamics that leave you feeling exposed. You don’t have to know their whole life story, but if they dodge every serious topic and deflect any emotional depth, you’re likely investing more than they are.
9. People who treat your boundaries as negotiable
When someone repeatedly ignores, pushes, or challenges your boundaries—no matter how kindly you express them—they’re showing you they don’t respect your limits. And where there’s no respect, trust can’t grow. This often shows up in small ways first—a joke you said wasn’t funny, a favour you said no to, etc. If they keep crossing lines, it’s not a misunderstanding, it’s a pattern.
10. People who only show up when they need something
Some people are experts at disappearing when you need support, only to reappear the moment they want a favour. These transactional connections feel fine on the surface, but quickly reveal their one-sidedness. True trust is built on mutual care—not usefulness. If you always feel drained or depleted after interacting with someone, it might be time to reevaluate how much trust they really deserve.
11. People who change their personality depending on who they’re with
Being adaptable is one thing, but people who change dramatically depending on the crowd often struggle with identity or authenticity. If they say one thing to you and another behind your back, that’s not flexibility—it’s duplicity. You should never feel unsure about which version of someone you’re going to get. If their stories, tone, or loyalty change with the wind, trust will always feel unstable.
12. People who try to isolate you from other people
Whether it’s subtle or obvious, anyone who tries to pull you away from your support system is not someone to trust. They may disguise it as protectiveness or closeness, but it’s often rooted in control. A healthy connection doesn’t require cutting ties. If someone feels threatened by your independence, friendships, or family bonds, it’s a warning sign that their influence comes with strings attached.
13. People who laugh at your pain or vulnerability
Source: Unsplash Trust requires emotional safety. If someone mocks you when you open up, makes you feel silly for having feelings, or turns your honesty into a joke, it’s not just insensitive—it’s damaging. You should never have to second-guess your emotions around someone you trust. If your pain becomes entertainment or ammunition, it’s time to step back.
14. People who compete with your happiness
Source: Unsplash There’s a difference between celebrating with someone and quietly resenting their success. If someone always has to one-up your joy or can’t be happy unless they’re doing better than you, trust gets replaced by tension. True friends don’t keep score. People who struggle to be happy for you will always carry a kind of rivalry that keeps your guard up.
15. People who pretend to forget your boundaries or needs
Source: Unsplash When someone consistently “forgets” what you’ve asked for—whether it’s a dietary restriction, a trigger, or something you’ve clearly communicated—it’s usually not forgetfulness. It’s disregard. People who care about you remember what matters to you. If they only remember when it’s convenient, their respect for your experience is conditional at best.
16. People who always make you doubt your gut
Source: Unsplash The most dangerous people to trust are often the ones who make you question your own instincts. If someone constantly invalidates your feelings, reframes your reality, or makes you feel like you’re overreacting, they’re undermining your ability to trust yourself. Healthy trust includes space for your intuition. If someone is always pulling you away from your own clarity, they’re not trying to help you—they’re trying to control the narrative.
