If you’ve ever been told to “get with the times,” this one is for you.
Personally, I don’t necessarily believe that new automatically equals better, but I do recognise the importance of adapting to the fast-changing world. If you’re doing these things, however, you’re clinging to your old-fashioned ways and may need to step into the 21st century.
1. You still have a landline and actually use it.
If you’re clinging to that home phone like it’s a life raft in the digital ocean, you might be a bit behind the times. Bonus points if you’ve got one of those curly cords that always gets tangled. And let’s not even talk about the satisfaction you get from dramatically slamming down the receiver after an argument — something you just can’t do with a mobile.
2. You refuse to use self-checkout at the supermarket.
I’ll be the first to admit that those machines can be finicky. However, if you’re holding up the queue because you insist on human interaction for your milk and bread purchase, you might be living in the past. Plus, you’re missing out on the thrill of frantically waving your aubergine at the scanner while muttering, “Unknown item in bagging area” under your breath.
3. You write cheques for everything.
If your chequebook is more worn out than your debit card, it’s time for an update. The cashier’s eye-roll when you whip out that pen is a clear sign you’re stuck in yesteryear. Not to mention, you’re probably the reason why the queue at the bank is always so long — those cheques don’t deposit themselves, you know!
4. You still print out maps for road trips.
If your glove compartment is bursting with folded maps that you can never refold properly, welcome to the old-fashioned club. Next stop: actually asking for directions! And let’s be honest, half the fun of your road trips is probably the heated arguments over which exit you were supposed to take 20 miles ago.
5. You’re suspicious of online banking.
If you think “mobile banking” means carrying your piggy bank around, you might be a bit behind. Trust me, the internet probably isn’t trying to steal your pennies. Although, your distrust of online banking might explain why you’re on a first-name basis with all the tellers at your local branch…
6. You insist on buying a physical newspaper.
Nothing wrong with enjoying the feel of newsprint on your fingers, but if you’re clueless about what’s happening in the world until you pop down the corner shop for your copy of The Daily Mail, you might be living in a different era (and a different planet). On the bright side, you’re probably the only one on your street who can still do a crossword without Google’s help.
7. You still use a flip phone.
Source: Unsplash If your idea of a smartphone is one that flips open dramatically like in the movies, we’ve got news for you. The 2000s called, they want their phone back. But hey, at least you’ll never know the pain of a cracked touchscreen or the embarrassment of your face unlocking your phone at inopportune moments.
8. You think social media is just for kids.
Facebook is full of grandparents now, and TikTok isn’t just about clocks. If you’re avoiding all social platforms because you think they’re childish, you might be missing out on some prime cat video action. Plus, how else are you going to share those blurry photos of your lunch with the world?
9. You refuse to shop online.
If the thought of buying clothes without trying them on first gives you hives, welcome to the old-fashioned club. Amazon isn’t just a rainforest anymore, you know. But look on the bright side — at least you’re getting your steps in by wandering around the mall for hours, right?
10. You still use a physical alarm clock.
If that jarring “BEEP BEEP BEEP” is still your wake-up call, you’re definitely old school. Smartphones have gentler ways to ruin your morning, you know. Plus, you’re missing out on the modern-day ritual of checking your phone at 3 am and panicking that you’ve overslept, only to realise you’ve got another three hours to go.
11. You think emojis are a foreign language.
If you’re responding to texts with full sentences and proper punctuation while everyone else is communicating in tiny pictures, you might be living in the past. 😉 But don’t worry, your friends probably appreciate your eloquent responses, even if they do take you ten minutes to type out on your flip phone.
12. You’re still renting movies from a physical store.
If you’re one of the last customers keeping the local Blockbuster knock-off in business, it might be time to discover streaming. No more late fees! Although, you might miss the thrill of rushing to return a DVD before the store closes, or the disappointment of finding out all the good movies are already rented out on a Friday night.
13. You refuse to use contactless payments.
If you think tapping your card to pay is witchcraft, and you insist on swiping or — gasp — using cash, you’re definitely giving off some old-fashioned vibes. But hey, at least you’ll never fall victim to the “oops, I accidentally bought a yacht with my contactless card” mishap.
14. You still have a CD or DVD collection.
If your living room is dominated by towers of shiny discs, you might be living in the past. It’s all about digital libraries now — no dusting required! That being said, I do have to admit that there’s something satisfying about physically flipping through a physical music collection that scrolling through Spotify just can’t match.
15. You think “streaming” only refers to water.
Netflix and chill? More like VHS and freeze. If you’re still adjusting the tracking on your VCR, it might be time for an upgrade. But look on the bright side — you’ll never have to face the modern dilemma of spending more time choosing what to watch than actually watching something.
16. You’re sceptical of electric cars.
If you think electric cars are just oversized RC toys, you might be stuck in the gas-guzzling past. The future is now, old man! But don’t worry, you’re not alone in your confusion — we’re all still trying to figure out where exactly we’re supposed to plug these things in.
