Being able to put yourself in other people’s shoes and understand their feelings and experiences is a gift, but it can also quickly become a burden if you’re not careful.
Empathy is a trait the world needs more of, but it’s also one that can become draining, upsetting, and ultimately destructive if taken to the extreme. If you relate to any of the following things, you might be a bit too empathetic and need to place a little less importance on other people’s feelings.
1. You absorb other people’s emotions like a sponge.
Walking into a room, you immediately sense the mood and take it on as your own. This emotional osmosis can be overwhelming, leaving you drained after social interactions. You might realise you’re inexplicably anxious or sad, only to realise later that you’ve absorbed someone else’s feelings.
2. Making decisions becomes a nightmare when other people are involved.
Even simple choices like where to eat become complex when you’re constantly considering everyone else’s preferences and feelings. You worry about disappointing people or making the ‘wrong’ choice, leading to decision paralysis and unnecessary stress.
3. You often neglect your own needs to cater to other people.
Your default mode is putting other people first, sometimes to your own detriment. You might skip meals, sacrifice sleep, or postpone important tasks to help someone else, even when it’s not urgent. This self-neglect can lead to burnout and resentment over time.
4. Saying ‘no’ feels like a personal failure.
Turning down requests or invitations fills you with guilt. You imagine the disappointment or inconvenience you’re causing, often leading you to overcommit. This habit can leave you stretched thin and unable to fully engage in the commitments you’ve made.
5. You’re the go-to person for everyone’s problems.
Friends, family, and even acquaintances always seem to come to you for advice or a sympathetic ear. While it’s flattering to be trusted, constantly being in ‘counsellor mode’ can be emotionally taxing and leave little time for your own concerns.
6. Conflict of any kind makes you physically uncomfortable.
Witnessing arguments or disagreements, even those not involving you, can trigger physical symptoms like nausea or anxiety. This heightened sensitivity to conflict often leads you to become a peacemaker, sometimes at the cost of addressing important issues.
7. You find it hard to watch sad or violent content.
News reports, films, or even books with distressing themes can affect you deeply. You might avoid certain media altogether because the emotional impact lingers long after the content has ended, disrupting your mood and sleep.
8. Your relationships often feel unbalanced.
You give more than you receive in most of your relationships. While you’re quick to offer support, you might struggle to ask for help when you need it, leading to one-sided dynamics that can breed resentment over time.
9. You often feel responsible for other people’s happiness.
When someone around you is upset or dissatisfied, you take it upon yourself to cheer them up or fix their problems. This sense of responsibility for other people’s emotional states can be exhausting and unrealistic.
10. Criticism, even when constructive, hits you hard.
You take feedback very personally, often dwelling on it for days. Your empathetic nature makes you acutely aware of how your actions affect other people, sometimes leading to overthinking and self-doubt after receiving criticism.
11. You struggle with setting and maintaining boundaries.
Establishing limits in relationships feels challenging because you’re always considering the other person’s feelings. This can lead to situations where you’re overextended or uncomfortable, but unable to express it.
12. Crowded places overwhelm you quickly.
Source: Unsplash Being in busy environments like shopping centres or public transport can be overstimulating. You pick up on the energy and emotions of those around you, leading to sensory overload and the need to retreat to quieter spaces.
13. You often feel drained after social interactions.
Source: Unsplash Even enjoyable social events can leave you feeling exhausted. The constant processing of other people’s emotions and the effort to respond appropriately takes a toll, requiring significant recovery time afterwards.
14. Making tough decisions in leadership roles is particularly challenging.
Source: Unsplash If you’re in a position of authority, it’s hard for you to make decisions that might negatively affect other people, even if they’re necessary. This can hinder your effectiveness as a leader and cause undue stress.
15. You have a tendency to take on other people’s problems as your own.
Source: Unsplash When a friend or family member is going through a tough time, you feel their struggle intensely. You might lose sleep over their issues or spend excessive time trying to find solutions, even when the problem isn’t yours to solve.
16. Your empathy extends beyond humans to animals and even inanimate objects.
You’re often emotionally affected by the plight of animals, feeling distressed at nature documentaries or news about animal cruelty. You might even anthropomorphise objects, feeling bad for items that are discarded or broken. This heightened sensitivity, while touching, can be emotionally draining in everyday life.
