It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there, but I can’t be the only one who feels like it would be a whole lot better if people were a little less selfish.
Obviously, we all want to make sure our needs are met, but some people are literally only out for what they can get, no matter how little it leaves anyone else or who gets hurt. Here are some red flags of this kind of self-centred person, so you can avoid them at all costs.
1. They never offer to help unless there’s something in it for them.
Someone who’s only out for themselves will rarely lend a hand without expecting a favour in return. They might conveniently disappear when you need help, but suddenly reappear when they stand to benefit. All of their relationships are transactional, and it’s pretty terrible to witness (and experience).
2. Conversations always revolve around their problems and achievements.
If you’re constantly listening to someone’s personal dramas or successes without them ever showing interest in your life, it’s a red flag. These people dominate discussions, steering conversations back to themselves at every opportunity. They’re more concerned with being heard than truly engaging in conversation.
3. They take credit for group efforts but blame everyone else for any failures.
Watch out for those who eagerly claim recognition for team accomplishments, but quickly point fingers when things go wrong. They not only lack accountability, but they’re definitely willing to exploit other people’s hard work. They’re focused on looking good at the expense of honesty and fairness.
4. Your feelings are dismissed or minimised when they don’t match up with their desires.
Self-centred people tend to struggle with empathy. If you say you’re uncomfortable with or disagree with their actions, they might brush off your concerns or make you feel unreasonable. Their dismissive attitude reveals just how much they prioritise themselves over everyone else.
5. They’re overly competitive, even in non-competitive situations.
Some people turn everything into a contest, from work projects to casual conversations. Their constant need to one-up everyone comes from a deep-seated desire to prove they’re better than everyone (even though they’re really not). It’s incredibly exhausting to be around.
6. Favours are always remembered and often used as leverage.
Be wary of people who keep a mental tally of every kind act they’ve done for you. They might bring up past favours to guilt you into doing what they want or to avoid reciprocating. They’re about personal gain, NOT generosity.
7. They’re quick to judge, but can’t handle criticism themselves.
Self-centred people often hold others to impossibly high standards, while reacting defensively to any feedback about their own behaviour. The double standard they live by is a perfect example of their belief that they’re above reproach. They have zero self-awareness, that much is clear.
8. Your boundaries are consistently ignored or challenged.
People focused solely on themselves often disregard other people’s personal limits. They might pressure you to do things you’re uncomfortable with or invade your space without permission. They don’t respect your autonomy, and what they want is always more important than any negative effects it might have on you.
9. They manipulate situations to always come out on top.
Watch for people who strategically twist circumstances to their advantage, often at other people’s expense. They might spread rumours, withhold information, or create conflicts to secure better positions for themselves. They have no problem sacrificing other people for personal gain, that much is for sure.
10. Apologies are rare and often insincere when they do occur.
Self-centred people struggle to admit fault or take responsibility for their actions. When they do apologise, it’s often hollow or followed by justifications. They’re desperate to maintain a flawless self-image and avoid vulnerability, and it shows.
11. They’re excessively charming when they want something from you.
Be cautious of sudden bursts of friendliness or flattery, especially when it’s followed by a request. Their calculated charm is a tool used to manipulate people into doing what they want. It’s not genuine connection they’re after, but rather what they can gain from the interaction.
12. Your successes are met with indifference or subtle undermining.
A person focused solely on themselves might struggle to celebrate your achievements. They downplay your accomplishments, change the subject quickly, or even try to one-up you. That’s because they see your success as a threat to their own perceived superiority.
13. They regularly cancel plans at the last minute.
While emergencies happen, consistently bailing on commitments shows a lack of respect for people’s time and feelings. Self-centred people prioritise their convenience above all else, often leaving people in the lurch without much consideration for the impact of their actions.
14. Their generosity comes with strings attached.
Be wary of those who are overly generous but always seem to expect something in return. Their kindness isn’t genuine but rather a form of social currency. They’ll also use past acts of generosity to guilt you into doing things you can’t or don’t want to do, or to avoid giving back.
15. They gossip all the time and enjoy drama.
People who constantly spread rumours or revel in other people’s misfortunes often do so to boost their own status or feel superior. They’re happy to use other people’s personal lives as a source of entertainment or as a way to gain social status, and that’s gross.
16. Your gut feeling tells you something’s off about them.
Sometimes, intuition is our most powerful tool. If you consistently feel drained, uncomfortable, or on edge around someone, it might be your subconscious picking up on their self-centred behaviour. Trust your instincts and pay attention to how people make you feel in their presence.
