Some people lie outright, while others are more subtle in their methods, twisting words, dodging responsibility, and making you question your own judgement.
Both are just as toxic as the other; honesty and respect are at the core of every healthy relationship, whether romantic, platonic, or even professional. When those things are absent, you simply can’t (or shouldn’t!) move forward. If you’ve ever felt manipulated but couldn’t quite put your finger on why, these words might sound familiar. They’re often used to avoid accountability, confuse you, or make you doubt what you know is true — and the person using them is likely trying to get one over on you.
1. “Technically…”
People who bend the truth love to hide behind technicalities. If someone starts a sentence this way, they’re probably about to tell you something misleading while avoiding an outright lie. It’s their way of keeping just enough truth in a statement so they can’t be accused of lying, even if they’re intentionally leading you in the wrong direction. They might say, “Technically, I didn’t lie,” when they clearly misled you, or “Technically, I didn’t agree to that,” when they absolutely knew what was expected. This word is often a red flag that they’re being deliberately sneaky, using loopholes to get away with something rather than being upfront.
2. “I never said that.”
Gaslighters love this one, largely because it makes you question your own memory and doubt what you know to be true. Even if you remember exactly what they said, they’ll insist you’ve got it wrong, making you feel confused and unsure of yourself. They’re doing more than denying words, here; they’re making you second-guess yourself. If someone regularly says this when you confront them, especially when you know they did say it, they’re likely trying to rewrite reality to suit them. Over time, hearing this repeatedly can make you lose trust in your own mind, which is exactly what they want.
3. “Why would I lie?”
This is meant to make you feel silly for even questioning them. Instead of actually proving they’re telling the truth, they just act offended that you’d doubt them at all, turning the focus onto you instead of their own actions. Honest people simply explain themselves. Dishonest people use phrases like this to guilt-trip you into backing down. If someone says this instead of answering a simple question, chances are they’re hiding something and using deflection to avoid getting caught.
4. “That’s not what I meant.”
When someone gets caught in a lie or an offensive remark, this is their go-to escape route. They’ll claim their words were misunderstood instead of admitting they were in the wrong, which allows them to pass the blame onto you for taking it the wrong way rather than taking responsibility for what they actually said. While miscommunication happens, deceitful people use this as a get-out-of-jail-free card. They rely on ambiguity so they can twist their words later, always leaving room to backtrack when needed. If this phrase keeps coming up, it’s often a sign they’re playing games with the truth.
5. “You’re being dramatic.”
Minimising someone’s feelings is a classic way to avoid accountability. If you call someone out, and they dismiss you as dramatic, they’re trying to make you feel like you’re overreacting and shut the conversation down before they have to explain themselves. It’s not about whether your reaction is reasonable; it’s about them avoiding a real discussion. Honest people will listen and try to understand, while manipulative ones turn the blame back on you, making you feel like the problem instead of addressing what they did.
6. “Let’s not make a big deal out of this.”
Liars don’t want their actions looked at too closely. If someone tries to rush past a serious issue or brush it off as essentially no big deal, they’re hoping you’ll drop it before digging any deeper. They know if you really started asking questions, things wouldn’t look good for them. It’s a tactic used to downplay wrongdoing and avoid consequences. If something feels like a big deal to you, don’t let someone convince you it isn’t just because they want to dodge responsibility. If they weren’t hiding something, they’d be open to discussing it properly.
7. “You’re twisting my words.”
This is often used to flip the blame. Instead of acknowledging what they actually said, a deceitful person will claim you’re misinterpreting their words on purpose. It’s an easy way to avoid admitting fault while making you feel like you’re the one twisting things. They know exactly what they said, but rather than explain themselves or clarify, they’ll put the focus on you supposedly “misunderstanding” to avoid accountability. If someone says this every time they’re confronted, they may be intentionally speaking in a vague way so they can always deny what they really meant.
8. “I was just joking.”
If someone says something cruel or inappropriate and immediately follows it with claiming it was just a bit of banter, they’re trying to dodge consequences while still getting their message across. They want the benefit of saying something hurtful without taking any responsibility for it. It’s a common way to test boundaries. If you call them out, they’ll act like you’re too sensitive. But if you let it slide, they’ll take it as permission to keep doing it. A joke should make both people laugh; if you’re the only one who feels bad, it wasn’t a joke.
9. “I hate drama.”
Ironically, the people who claim to hate drama are often the ones creating it. They’ll stir things up, manipulate situations, and then act like they’re above it all, blaming other people for the chaos they caused. It’s a way to make themselves look innocent while making anyone who calls them out seem like the problem. If someone constantly says they can’t stand drama while always being at the centre of it, they’re likely playing both sides and pretending to be the victim.
10. “It’s not my fault.”
Passing the buck is a favourite trick of dishonest people. Instead of taking responsibility, they’ll find a way to make it someone else’s fault, whether that’s you, their boss, or even ‘bad luck.’ Genuine mistakes happen, obviously, but constantly dodging responsibility is a sign of someone who never plans to own up to anything. If they’re always the victim and never accountable for their actions, that’s a big red flag.
11. “You’re making me look bad.”
When someone gets caught in a lie, their first concern is often their own reputation, not the fact that they were dishonest. If they’re more worried about ‘looking bad’ than actually fixing the issue, that says a lot. Instead of addressing the problem, they’ll turn it around and act like you’re attacking them, making it all about their feelings instead of what they did wrong. It’s a deflection tactic to make you feel guilty for calling them out.
12. “Trust me.”
Trust isn’t something you demand; it’s something you earn. If someone keeps telling you to trust them instead of proving themselves through actions, it’s often a sign they know their words alone aren’t enough. Honest people don’t need to keep insisting they’re trustworthy. Their behaviour speaks for itself. If someone keeps using this phrase without backing it up, think twice before believing them.
13. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Source: Unsplash Intentions matter, but so do actions. If someone constantly hurts you and hides behind their intentions rather than the impact of their behaviour, they’re avoiding responsibility for the things they chose to do. An honest person acknowledges hurt feelings and tries to make it right. A deceitful one focuses only on their own intent, as if that should cancel out any harm they’ve done. If they really cared, they’d work on not doing it again.
14. “Everyone else thinks I’m right.”
Source: Unsplash Instead of defending their actions, deceitful people often try to win arguments by making it seem like everyone agrees with them. They want you to feel outnumbered, as if your opinion is the odd one out. Even if they name-drop a few people, that doesn’t mean they’re telling the truth. It’s simply a tactic that’s meant to make you doubt yourself rather than prove their point. If they were truly in the right, they wouldn’t need backup to convince you.
15. “I was under a lot of stress.”
Stress can make people act out of character, but if someone always uses it as an excuse for bad behaviour, they’re justifying things they should be taking responsibility for. Everyone deals with stress, but not everyone turns it into a reason to lie, manipulate, or mistreat people. It’s one thing to explain why something happened; it’s another to use it as a way to avoid apologising. If they regularly blame stress instead of owning up to their actions, they’re likely trying to avoid accountability rather than making real changes.
16. “I don’t remember that happening.”
Some people genuinely forget things, but if someone conveniently “forgets” every time they’re confronted about something, it’s usually a tactic to avoid answering. It’s their way of dodging responsibility without having to directly deny anything. It’s a classic gaslighting move. They know you can’t prove what’s in their memory, so they make you feel like you’re the one getting things wrong. If their memory is perfect for everything else but suddenly fuzzy when it comes to their own bad behaviour, there’s a good chance they’re lying.
