Narcissists may seem untouchable at first, but you might be surprised how easily they can be knocked down a few pegs.
You don’t have to resort to the same dirty tactics they use or even put in much effort — you just need to use a few simple words to let them know they’re no longer in control, and you won’t put up with their behaviour anymore. Use these next time you want to put a narcissist in their place — you’ll be glad you did.
1. “No.”
It’s a simple word, but it can be incredibly effective when used with a narcissist. They’re used to getting their own way, and manipulating people to do what they want. A firm “no” challenges their control and disrupts their expectations. It sets a boundary, and lets them know you’ll be calling the shots in your own life, thank you very much. While it might trigger a tantrum or a guilt trip, it also sends a clear message that you’re not going to be pushed around.
2. “I don’t need your approval.”
Narcissists thrive on validation and admiration. They need constant reassurance that they’re special and superior. By stating that you don’t need their approval, you’re taking away their power source. It’s a declaration of independence, a way of saying that your self-worth doesn’t depend on their opinion. It might catch them off guard and force them to reconsider their tactics.
3. “I see through your manipulation.”
The funny thing is that narcissists see themselves as some kind of manipulation gurus, and they use simple tactics to exploit people at every turn. Calling them out on their behaviour disrupts their game. It shows that you’re aware of their tactics and that you’re not going to fall for them. It might trigger anger or denial, but it also plants a seed of doubt in their mind and forces them to reconsider their approach.
4. “Your behaviour is hurtful and unacceptable.”
Narcissists often lack empathy and have a distorted sense of reality. They might not realise the impact their behaviour has on other people. Clearly and calmly stating that their actions are hurtful and unacceptable can force them to confront the consequences of their behaviour. It might not lead to an immediate apology or change, but it can plant a seed of awareness and potentially lead to some self-reflection.
5. “I’m putting my own needs first.”
No one’s needs will ever matter more to a narcissist than their own. They expect you to cater to their every whim, neglecting your own well-being in the process. By asserting that you’re prioritising your own needs, you’re challenging their self-centredness and reclaiming your own autonomy. It’s a way of setting boundaries and establishing a healthier dynamic in the relationship.
6. “I’m not going to engage in this argument.”
Narcissists love to argue and create drama. They thrive on conflict and often use it as a way to control and manipulate people. Refusing to engage in their arguments automatically disarms them. It deprives them of the attention and validation they crave, and it shows that you’re not going to play their game.
7. “I deserve better.”
Narcissists often belittle and devalue their partners or friends, making them feel unworthy and inadequate. Stating that you deserve better is a way of reclaiming your self-worth and asserting your right to be treated with respect and dignity. It’s a declaration of self-love and a reminder that you don’t have to settle for a toxic relationship.
8. “I’m done.”
Sometimes, the most powerful words are the simplest. When you’ve reached your limit with a narcissist, a firm “I’m done” can be the final straw. It’s a clear and concise way of ending the relationship or setting a firm boundary. It might not be easy, but it’s a necessary step towards protecting your own well-being and moving on to healthier relationships.
9. “I don’t believe you.”
Narcissists often lie and exaggerate to maintain their image and control people. By expressing disbelief in their words, you challenge their narrative and force them to confront the truth. This can be a great way to disrupt their manipulative tactics and regain a sense of control in the situation.
10. “You’re not the centre of the universe.”
Narcissists often operate under the delusion that the world revolves around them. Reminding them that they’re not the centre of the universe can be a humbling experience. It challenges their grandiosity and forces them to confront the reality that other people have needs and feelings too. It’s a way of bringing them back down to earth and reminding them that they’re not as special as they think they are.
11. “I’m not impressed.”
Narcissists crave admiration and validation. They’re constantly looking for praise and recognition for their achievements, even if they’re minor or insignificant. By stating that you’re not impressed, you’re withholding the validation they crave and challenging their inflated ego. It’s a way of showing them that their tactics aren’t working and that you’re not going to be easily swayed.
12. “I’m going to focus on myself now.”
Narcissists often drain the energy and resources of those around them. By declaring that you’re going to focus on yourself, you’re reclaiming your own power and looking after yourself. It’s a way of setting boundaries and establishing a healthier distance from their toxic influence.
13. “I refuse to be treated this way.”
Narcissists often engage in disrespectful and demeaning behaviour towards other people. By stating that you refuse to be treated this way, you’re setting a clear boundary and asserting your self-respect. It’s a way of standing up for yourself and demanding to be treated with dignity and consideration.
14. “I’m not afraid of you.”
Narcissists often use fear and intimidation to control people. By expressing that you’re not afraid of them, you’re challenging their power and reclaiming your own strength. It’s a way of showing them that their tactics won’t work on you and that you’re not going to be intimidated or silenced.
15. “Goodbye.”
Sometimes, the best way to deal with a narcissist is to walk away. If the relationship is toxic and draining, and there’s no hope for change, saying goodbye can be the healthiest option. It’s not always easy, but it’s a necessary step towards protecting your own well-being and creating a happier, healthier life for yourself.
16. “I’m going to talk to someone about this.”
If you’re struggling to cope with a narcissist’s behaviour, talking to your closest friends, family members, or even a licensed counsellor who specialises in these kinds of toxic relationships can be helpful. Letting the narcissist know that you’re going to talk to someone about the situation lets them know you mean business and can be a great way to hold them accountable for their actions. It shows that you’re not going to tolerate their behaviour and that you’re willing to take steps to protect yourself.
