Most of the well-meaning relationship advice you get from family members and friends is absolute rubbish, to be honest.
No two relationships are alike, and only you and your partner know your dynamic, your issues, and the areas in which you’re strongest. However, while most “tips” you get in this department are annoying at worst, some are downright harmful. Here are some bits of advice that might come your way that you should never, ever listen to.
1. “If they really loved you, they’d know what you want without you telling them.”
This one’s just ridiculous. No one’s a mind reader, not even your partner. Expecting them to guess your needs is a recipe for disappointment. Good communication is key in any relationship. If you want or need something, speak up!
2. “Never go to bed angry.”
Sometimes, you need a good night’s sleep to cool off and think clearly. Trying to force a resolution when you’re both tired and upset can make things worse. It’s okay to sleep on it and talk when you’re calmer.
3. “If you’re not happy, just leave.”
Relationships take work. If you bail every time things get tough, you’ll never build anything lasting. Of course, this doesn’t apply to abusive situations, but for normal relationship bumps, it’s worth trying to work things out.
4. “Keep them on their toes by making them jealous.”
Playing games with someone’s emotions is never a good idea. Trying to make your partner jealous will only breed insecurity and resentment. It’s not cute or clever, it’s just mean.
5. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
Whoever came up with this one clearly never been in a real relationship. Apologies are important. We all mess up sometimes, and being able to admit it and say sorry is crucial for a healthy relationship.
6. “If you’re arguing, you’re not meant to be together.”
All couples argue sometimes. It’s normal. What matters is how you argue and how you resolve conflicts. Healthy disagreements can actually make your relationship stronger if you handle them well.
7. “You should tell each other everything.”
While honesty is important, you don’t need to share every single thought or detail of your life. It’s okay to have some privacy and maintain your individual identity within a relationship.
8. “If you’re truly in love, the passion never fades.”
This sets unrealistic expectations. Long-term relationships naturally evolve the longer you’re together. The initial butterflies might settle, but they can be replaced by a deeper, more comfortable kind of love. That’s not a bad thing, you know!
9. “You should always put your partner first, no matter what.”
While it’s important to prioritise your relationship, completely neglecting your own needs or those of other important people in your life isn’t healthy. Balance is key. There are going to be times when your partner can’t be at the top at your list. They’ll be near the top, but sometimes other things move into first place for a bit out of necessity.
10. “If they wanted to, they would.”
This oversimplifies things. People have complex reasons for their actions or inactions. Sometimes, fear, insecurity, or past experiences hold people back. Communication is better than making assumptions.
11. “You should test their love by breaking up with them.”
Playing these kinds of games is manipulative and harmful. If you have doubts, talk about them. Don’t create unnecessary drama to ‘test’ your relationship.
12. “Opposites attract, so look for someone completely different from you.”
While some differences can be complementary, having core values and goals in common is important for long-term compatibility. You don’t need to be carbon copies, but some common ground is crucial.
13. “Never compromise. If they love you, they’ll do things your way.”
Relationships are all about give and take. If you’re never willing to compromise, you’re not ready for a partnership. It’s about finding solutions that work for both of you, not always getting your own way.
14. “If you’re not sure, have a baby. It’ll bring you closer together.”
This is probably one of the worst pieces of advice out there. Having a baby is a huge responsibility that puts stress on even the strongest relationships. It should never be used as a ‘fix’ for relationship problems.
15. “Love should be enough.”
Love is important, but it’s not the only thing that matters. Successful relationships also need trust, respect, shared values, and good communication. Love alone can’t solve all problems.
16. “If they cheat once, they’ll always be a cheater.”
While cheating is a serious breach of trust, people can change if they genuinely want to. It’s up to you whether you want to try and rebuild that trust, but writing someone off forever because of one mistake isn’t always necessary.
