Trust is the foundation of all good relationships, and if you haven’t got it, you’re in trouble.
However, trust has to be earned, and if you act in ways that make people feel like they can’t rely on or confide in you, you’ll lose it just as quickly. Here are some things you might be doing to make people feel like you’re not deserving of their trust. Now’s the time to prove them wrong.
1. You’re constantly late.
Being late all the time sends a message that you don’t value other people’s time. Even if you don’t mean to, it can come across as disrespectful and unreliable. People might start to wonder if they can trust you to show up when it matters. To build trust, aim to be on time, and if you’re running behind, let the other person know in advance.
2. You overpromise and underdeliver.
Making big promises is easy, but when you fail to follow through, it can do serious damage to your credibility. People would rather you be realistic than disappointed by empty promises. It’s always better to underpromise and overdeliver. Set achievable expectations and make sure you can meet them before committing to anything.
3. Your behaviour is unpredictable.
If you’re all over the place—one day you’re super friendly, and the next, you’re distant—it makes people unsure of what to expect from you. Consistency is key when it comes to trust. When people know they can rely on you to be steady and dependable, it builds a sense of security in the relationship.
4. You share other people’s secrets.
If you can’t keep things confidential, people will think twice before confiding in you again. Even if the secret seems harmless or unimportant to you, breaking someone’s trust this way shows a lack of respect. Be mindful about keeping what’s shared with you in confidence locked down, no matter how tempting it is to share.
5. You avoid tough conversations.
Dodging difficult talks might feel easier in the moment, but it chips away at trust over time. Whether it’s confronting an issue or giving honest feedback, people need to know they can rely on you to be upfront and handle situations with integrity. Learning to tackle these conversations with empathy will earn you more trust.
6. You’re always on your phone.
If you’re always checking your phone when talking to someone, it sends the message that they’re not your priority. It may not seem like a big deal, but this behaviour can come off as rude and dismissive. Next time you’re with someone, put your phone away and be present—it’s a small gesture that speaks volumes about how much you value the interaction.
7. You gossip constantly.
Talking behind people’s backs might seem harmless in the moment, but it damages trust across the board. When people hear you bad-mouthing someone, they’ll wonder if you do the same about them. To maintain trust, keep conversations positive and steer clear of unnecessary gossip.
8. You take credit for other people’s work.
Claiming someone else’s ideas or efforts as your own is a fast track to losing trust. People will see you as someone who’s more interested in getting ahead than giving credit where it’s due. Acknowledge what other people bring to the table and celebrate team efforts. This builds trust and creates a more positive, collaborative environment.
9. You get defensive when receiving feedback.
If your first reaction to constructive criticism is to get defensive, people may stop being honest with you. No one wants to deal with someone who shuts down or gets angry when offered advice. Instead, take a breath, listen, and thank the person for their input. Reflect on the feedback before responding—it shows maturity and builds trust.
10. You often cancel plans at the last minute.
Source: Unsplash Constantly bailing at the last minute sends a clear message: you’re unreliable. Even if there’s a valid reason, if it happens too often, people will stop counting on you. If you do need to cancel, give as much notice as possible and try to reschedule. Showing that you respect people’s time helps rebuild trust.
11. You’re not transparent about your motives.
When people aren’t sure about your true intentions, it can create doubt and suspicion. Being transparent about why you’re doing something builds trust. If you’re upfront about your goals, even if they’re self-serving, people will respect your honesty more than if they feel you’re hiding something.
12. You make excuses instead of owning up.
Constantly making excuses instead of admitting when you’ve messed up destroys trust quickly. People appreciate accountability—if you make a mistake, admit it, apologise, and outline how you’re going to make things right. It’s a simple formula that goes a long way in maintaining and repairing trust.
13. You say one thing and do another.
If your actions don’t match your words, people will start to question your sincerity. Consistency between what you say and what you do is a cornerstone of trust. If something changes, and you can’t follow through on a promise, communicate that clearly rather than leaving people in the dark.
14. You ignore boundaries.
Disregarding someone’s personal or professional boundaries—whether it’s their time, space, or emotions—can make them feel disrespected or unsafe. Pay attention to cues and be sure to ask if you’re unsure where the lines are. Respect for boundaries is crucial to any trusting relationship.
15. You’re always selling something.
If every conversation feels like you’re trying to sell something or push your agenda, people will start to see you as self-serving. Trustworthy relationships are built on genuine give-and-take, not constant hustling. Show interest in people without expecting something in return, and you’ll find trust grows naturally.
16. You’re excessively secretive.
While everyone’s entitled to privacy, being overly secretive can make people suspicious. If you’re evasive or refuse to share information when it’s appropriate, people might think you’re hiding something. Strike a balance between being private and open to build trust.
17. You don’t follow through on the little things.
Even small commitments matter when it comes to trust. If you keep forgetting to return a call, send a promised link, or follow up on something minor, it adds up. These little actions signal reliability, so make sure to follow through on what you say you’ll do, no matter how small the task.
