Some people find it effortlessly easy to talk to anyone and everyone about anything, no matter the situation. That isn’t the case for all of us.
For the socially awkward among us, making small talk can be downright painful. It’s not that we don’t want to make new friends (or potential partners or professional connections), we just find it hard to come off as charming and laid-back when we’re internally cringing the entire time. If you’re socially awkward, chances are these thoughts cross your mind every time you meet someone new.
1. “I’m probably boring them.”
This is a classic thought that often plagues socially awkward people. You worry that your stories are dull, your jokes fall flat, and your conversation is just plain boring. You imagine the other person secretly checking their watch or looking for an escape route. It’s important to remember that everyone has different interests and perspectives, and what might seem boring to you could be fascinating to someone else.
2. “They can tell I’m nervous.”
Your palms are sweaty, your voice is shaky, and you’re pretty sure your blushing is visible from space. You worry that your nerves are so obvious that everyone around you can sense your discomfort. While it’s true that some people might pick up on your anxiety, it’s important to remember that most people are too focused on their own insecurities to notice yours.
3. “I’m going to say something stupid.”
This fear can be paralysing and end up making you overthink every word that comes out of your mouth. You worry that you’ll misspeak, stumble over your words, or say something completely inappropriate. Remember, everyone makes verbal blunders from time to time. It’s not the end of the world, and most people will understand and forgive any awkwardness.
4. “I don’t know what to talk about.”
The dreaded awkward silence. You feel like you’ve run out of things to say, and the conversation is grinding to a halt. You start racking your brain for interesting topics, but your mind goes blank. Remember, it’s okay to have pauses in conversation. It gives both of you a chance to breathe and gather your thoughts.
5. “They probably think I’m weird.”
We all have our quirks and unique personality traits. You might worry that your quirks are off-putting or that people will judge you for being different. Remember, being “weird” is often just another word for interesting. Embrace your individuality and don’t be afraid to show your true self. The right people will appreciate you for who you are.
6. “I’m not cool enough for them.”
You might compare yourself to the other person, feeling like you don’t measure up in terms of looks, achievements, or social status. You worry that they’ll find you uninteresting or unworthy of their time. Remember, everyone has their own insecurities, and “coolness” is subjective. Focus on building genuine connections based on shared interests and values, not on superficial qualities.
7. “I’m going to mess up this handshake/hug/introduction.”
Physical greetings can be a minefield for socially awkward people. You worry about whether to go for a handshake, a hug, or a simple nod. You overthink the firmness of your grip, the length of your hug, or whether you pronounced their name correctly. Remember, these are just small moments in the grand scheme of things. Most people are more focused on the conversation than on the intricacies of your handshake.
8. “They’re probably judging my appearance.”
You worry that people are judging your outfit, your hair, your makeup, or even your posture. You feel self-conscious and insecure, wondering if you look put-together enough or if you have something embarrassing stuck in your teeth. Remember, most people are too busy worrying about their own appearance to judge yours. Focus on feeling comfortable and confident in your own skin.
9. “What if they notice I’m sweating/blushing/shaking?”
The spotlight effect is real. We often overestimate how much attention other people are paying to us. Newsflash: They probably don’t care! While you might feel like your nervousness is on full display, chances are, most people won’t even notice those subtle signs. Even if they do, they’ll likely be understanding and empathetic, as everyone gets nervous sometimes.
10. “I’m probably not their type.”
You might quickly assess the other person’s appearance, style, or interests and decide they’re out of your league. You worry that they won’t find you attractive, interesting, or compatible. Remember, attraction is complex and multifaceted. It goes beyond looks and involves a deeper connection based on shared values, humour, and interests. Don’t discount yourself before giving the other person a chance to get to know the real you.
11. “I’m going to run out of things to say.”
The fear of awkward silences is a common one for socially awkward people. You worry that you won’t be able to keep the conversation flowing, and there will be long, uncomfortable pauses. It’s helpful to have a few conversation starters in your back pocket, but also remember that it’s okay to have moments of silence. It gives both of you a chance to think and reflect.
12. “They’re probably judging my social skills.”
You might worry that you’re coming across as awkward, clumsy, or socially inept. You overanalyse your every move, wondering if you’re saying the right things, making the right facial expressions, or maintaining the right amount of eye contact. Remember, most people are more focused on the content of the conversation than on your social skills. Just be yourself and relax, and the conversation will flow more naturally.
13. “I’m going to embarrass myself.”
This fear can be so overwhelming that it prevents you from participating in social interactions altogether. You worry that you’ll trip, spill something, or say something completely mortifying. While it’s natural to want to avoid embarrassment, it’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, and most people are understanding and forgiving.
14. “They’re probably just being polite.”
When someone is friendly and engaging, you might assume they’re just being polite and don’t actually enjoy your company. Instead, you worry that they’re secretly wishing they were somewhere else or talking to someone more interesting. Remember, most people are genuine in their interactions. If someone is laughing at your jokes or asking you questions, it’s likely because they’re enjoying your company.
15. “I’m not interesting enough.”
You might worry that your life is too ordinary or that you don’t have any exciting stories to share. You might feel like you don’t measure up to other people’s seemingly glamorous lives. Remember, everyone has their own unique experiences and perspectives. Your story is valuable, and you have something to offer the world. Don’t be afraid to share your passions, interests, and experiences with other people.
16. “I’m going to be rejected.”
The fear of rejection is a powerful one, and it can make it difficult to put yourself out there and make new connections. You might worry that the other person won’t like you, won’t want to be your friend, or won’t find you attractive. Remember, not everyone is going to click with you, and that’s okay. Rejection is a part of life, and it doesn’t reflect on your worth as a person. Keep putting yourself out there, and you’ll eventually find people who appreciate and value you for who you are.
17. “I wish I could just disappear.”
When you’re smack dab in the middle of an awkward social interaction, you might fantasise about disappearing into thin air or finding a way to escape without anyone noticing. This is a natural reaction to feeling overwhelmed or uncomfortable. However, it’s important to remember that everyone feels awkward sometimes, and it’s not a reflection of your worth as a person. Take a deep breath, try to relax, and focus on connecting with the other person. You might be surprised at how quickly the awkwardness fades away.
