Suspecting your partner of infidelity is a gut-wrenching feeling, filled with anxiety and uncertainty.
While it’s important not to jump to conclusions, there are some telltale signs that might warrant a closer look. After all, catching someone in the act is tricky, but these subtle clues could indicate something is amiss.
1. They’re suddenly hyper-focused on their appearance.
Source: Unsplash While it’s natural for people to want to look their best, a sudden and dramatic change in your partner’s grooming habits or wardrobe could be a red flag. If they’re spending an unusual amount of time at the gym, getting new haircuts, or buying new clothes, it could be a sign that they’re trying to impress someone new.
2. Their phone habits have changed drastically.
Are they suddenly glued to their phone, hiding their screen, or taking calls in private? While respecting their privacy is important, a significant change in their phone behaviour could be cause for concern. If they’re secretive about their messages, deleting texts, or changing passwords, it might be worth asking some questions.
3. They become defensive or evasive when you ask about their whereabouts.
Everyone needs their own space, but if your partner becomes defensive or vague when asked about their activities or whereabouts, it can raise suspicions. They might offer flimsy excuses, change the subject, or get irritated when questioned. This lack of transparency can create a sense of unease and distrust in the relationship.
4. They seem emotionally distant or withdrawn.
If your partner seems emotionally distant, less affectionate, or less interested in spending time with you, it could be a sign that their attention is focused elsewhere. They might seem preoccupied, less engaged in conversations, or less interested in your life. While it’s important to consider other factors like stress or personal issues, a persistent lack of emotional connection can be a red flag.
5. They start picking fights or creating unnecessary drama.
Sometimes, a cheating partner will pick fights or create drama as a way to distract from their own guilt or to justify their actions. They might accuse you of being jealous or insecure, or they might create conflict to avoid spending time with you. If your usually easygoing partner suddenly becomes argumentative or difficult, it’s worth exploring what might be driving their behaviour.
6. They have unexplained expenses or changes in their spending habits.
Are there sudden charges on credit card statements you don’t recognise? Have their spending habits changed significantly? While it’s important to trust your partner, unexplained expenses or secretive spending could be a sign that they’re hiding something.
7. Their friends act strangely around you.
If your partner’s friends seem uncomfortable, awkward, or overly secretive around you, it could be a sign that they know something you don’t. They might be aware of your partner’s infidelity and feel uneasy about keeping it a secret from you. Their behaviour could be a subtle clue that something is going on behind the scenes.
8. Your gut tells you something is off.
Sometimes, the most reliable indicator is our own intuition. If you have a gut feeling that something isn’t right, don’t ignore it. Our instincts often pick up on subtle cues and inconsistencies that our conscious minds might miss. Trust your gut and pay attention to those nagging feelings, as they might be trying to tell you something important.
9. They have a sudden interest in new hobbies or activities.
While it’s great to see your partner exploring new interests, a sudden and unexplained change in hobbies or activities could raise eyebrows. If they start spending excessive time on a new hobby that seems out of character or secretive, it might be worth investigating whether there’s another motive behind their newfound passion.
10. They become overly critical of you.
A cheating partner might start criticising your appearance, personality, or habits as a way to create distance and justify their actions. They might nitpick at your flaws, compare you negatively to other people, or make you feel like you’re not good enough. This sudden increase in criticism can be hurtful and destroy your self-esteem.
11. They have a new “friend” they talk about constantly.
While it’s normal to have friends outside of a relationship, if your partner starts talking excessively about a new friend of the opposite sex, it could be a red flag. They might gush about this person’s qualities, share intimate details about their conversations, or even compare you to them. This could be a sign that they’re developing an emotional connection with someone else.
12. They’re less interested in sex or physical intimacy.
A decrease in sexual desire or physical intimacy can happen for various reasons, but if it’s a sudden and unexplained change, it could be a sign that your partner is getting their needs met elsewhere. They might make excuses to avoid intimacy, seem less enthusiastic during sex, or even reject your advances altogether.
13. You notice inconsistencies in their stories or explanations.
When someone is lying or hiding something, their stories often have holes or inconsistencies. If you notice that your partner’s explanations don’t add up, they change details of their stories, or their alibis seem flimsy, it could be a sign that they’re not being truthful. Trust your instincts and pay attention to these inconsistencies, as they might be trying to cover up their infidelity.
14. They become overly protective of their privacy.
While everyone deserves some privacy, if your partner suddenly becomes fiercely protective of their phone, email, or social media accounts, it could be a red flag. They might change passwords, delete messages, or avoid using their devices in front of you. This heightened secrecy can create a sense of distrust and suspicion in the relationship.
15. They accuse you of cheating.
In a classic case of projection, a cheating partner might accuse you of being unfaithful. This could be a tactic to deflect suspicion from themselves or to justify their own actions. They might accuse you of flirting, being secretive, or spending too much time with other people, even if there’s no evidence to support their claims.
16. They seem distant during holidays or special occasions.
Holidays and special occasions are typically times for couples to connect and celebrate their love. If your partner seems emotionally distant, preoccupied, or disinterested during these times, it could be a sign that their heart is elsewhere. They might forget important dates, make excuses to avoid spending time with you, or seem more invested in other relationships.
17. You find physical evidence of an affair.
While this might be the most obvious sign, it’s important to tread carefully. Finding incriminating texts, emails, or even another person’s belongings can be devastating, but it’s important to gather all the facts before confronting your partner. Consider seeking support from a trusted friend, family member, or therapist to help you navigate this difficult situation.
