Introverts aren’t all antisocial homebodies who don’t know how to interact in the world, but that doesn’t mean we’re loud and outgoing like our extroverted friends.
In fact, most of us more inward-focused people do tend to keep to ourselves more often than not. Because of this, there are certain sentences people utter that can make our hair stand up and really freak us out. Please, for the love of all that’s holy, use these sparingly (if at all).
1. “Why are you so quiet?”
This classic hits introverts right in the gut. It’s like asking why someone’s so tall — it’s just how we’re built! Introverts aren’t broken extroverts; we’re just wired to enjoy peace and quiet. When someone asks this, introverts might be thinking, “Why are you so loud?”
2. “You should get out more!”
This seems to be the battle cry of extroverts everywhere. For introverts, “getting out more” isn’t always the answer. We’re perfectly happy with their cosy nights in, thank you very much. This makes us feel like there’s something wrong with enjoying our own company, and there’s definitely not.
3. “I’m throwing a surprise party for you!”
Nothing strikes fear into an introvert’s heart quite like a surprise party. The thought of being the centre of attention, surrounded by people, with no escape plan is enough to make us want to change our name and move to a remote island.
4. “Let’s go around the room and introduce ourselves.”
These words can make an introvert break out in a cold sweat. The pressure of coming up with something interesting to say about ourselves, while everyone stares is like our own personal nightmare. We’d rather blend into the wallpaper, thanks.
5. “You’re coming to the pub after work, right?”
After a long day of peopling, the last thing many introverts want is more socialising. Being asked this question often leads to a frantic search for a polite excuse. “Sorry, I have to… wash my cat” might suddenly seem like a reasonable response.
6. “I gave your number to my friend, they’ll call you.”
Source: Unsplash Unexpected phone calls are an introvert’s kryptonite. The thought of having to chat with a stranger, with no time to mentally prepare, makes us wish a giant whole would open up in the ground and swallow us up. We’d much prefer texting, thanks.
7. “You should smile more!”
This gem makes introverts want to do exactly the opposite. Our resting face isn’t a reflection of our mood; it’s just our face! Being told to smile more feels like being told to change who we are. Plus, constant smiling is exhausting.
8. “I invited a few extra people to join us.”
An introvert’s carefully planned outing for two suddenly turning into a group event is a recipe for panic. We’ve probably spent days psyching ourselves up for this social interaction, and now the goalposts have moved. Time to fake a sudden bout of flu!
9. “Can you give a presentation to the whole company?”
Public speaking is often an introvert’s worst nightmare. The idea of all those eyes on us, judging our every word and gesture, is definitely not our idea of a good time. We’d much rather express our ideas in a well-crafted email.
10. “You’re so antisocial!”
Ouch. This one stings because it’s so misunderstood. Introverts aren’t antisocial; we just socialise differently. We prefer deep, meaningful conversations to small talk and big crowds. Calling us antisocial feels like an unfair judgement on our personality.
11. “We’re all going to karaoke tonight!”
Source: Unsplash For many introverts, karaoke is a special kind of torture. Singing in front of others, being the centre of attention, and experiencing the pressure to perform is a triple threat of introvert terrors. We’d rather listen to nails on a chalkboard.
12. “I thought you’d want to room with someone at the conference.”
Sharing a room with a stranger or even a colleague is an introvert’s idea of hell. We need our alone time to recharge, especially after a day of networking and socialising. The thought of no private space to decompress is terrifying.
13. “Why don’t you mingle a bit?”
Ah, mingling — the art of making small talk with strangers. For introverts, this is about as appealing as a root canal. We’d much rather have a deep conversation with one person than flit from group to group making surface-level chit-chat.
14. “I signed you up for an improv class!”
Surprise! You’re going to have to think on your feet in front of a group of strangers! Please no! The unpredictability, the spotlight, the forced interaction — it’s a perfect storm of introvert fears. Improv is definitely not our bag.
15. “Let’s play a party game!”
Party games often involve putting yourself out there, being the centre of attention, or worse — physical contact with strangers. For introverts, this is less “fun party activity” and more “please let the ground swallow me whole right now”.
16. “You just need to come out of your shell!”
This implies there’s something wrong with being in the “shell” in the first place. For introverts, our shell is a comfortable, necessary space. Telling us to come out of it is like telling a fish to just try breathing air.
17. “Why don’t you just be yourself?”
The irony is, introverts are being ourselves when we’re quiet or prefer smaller gatherings. This phrase often comes when we’re pushed into uncomfortable social situations. It’s frustrating because we are who we are. It’d be nice if other people recognised that!
