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Getty Images/iStockphotoDealing with demanding people is an absolute nightmare.
Their constant requests, unrealistic expectations, and lack of respect for your boundaries leaves you feeling overwhelmed and undervalued. But remember, you have the right to assert yourself and protect your time and energy. Here are some powerful responses to help you stand your ground and maintain your sanity when faced with unreasonable demands.
1. “I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I need some time to consider this.”
You can acknowledge someone’s request without committing immediately (and many times, you should). It buys you some time to feel the situation out, gather your thoughts, and decide whether you’re willing and able to help. It also lets the person know that you’re not going to be pressured into making a quick decision that doesn’t actually work for you.
2. “I don’t have the bandwidth right now, but I’ll let you know if my schedule opens up.”
If you’re already stretched pretty thin and don’t have time or energy to add anything else into your schedule, this is a great response. You’re not turning them down without reason, and you’re also not saying you’ll never help them — it just has to be convenient for you.
3. “I’m happy to help, but I need to understand the scope of the project.”
Maybe you are willing to help if what’s being asked isn’t going to take up too much of your time. Saying this gets you the information you need to be able to decide whether you can chip in, and it helps you avoid getting roped into something that you’re just not up for right now.
4. “I’m not comfortable with that approach. Let’s explore some alternatives.”
If you don’t agree with what’s being asked of you, you should most definitely share that. This is a respectful way to say that their request doesn’t jibe with your approach, and if they want you to help, they’ll need to be willing to compromise.
5. “I understand this is important to you, but I need to prioritise my own commitments right now.”
This is a great way of acknowledging their needs while still prioritising your own. You’re validating them without diminishing yourself in the process, and that’s really important. If they respect you, they should respect this boundary.
6. “I’m happy to discuss this further, but I need to take a break right now.”
If a conversation is becoming overwhelming or too intense, this is a great way to disengage and take some time for yourself. Everything doesn’t have to be on their terms, and it really shouldn’t be. You get some say here.
7. “I’m not the best person to help with this. Maybe [colleague’s name] would be better suited.”
If you can’t or simply don’t want to help, you’re doing them a solid by suggesting someone who might be a better option. (Just make sure you’re not throwing a colleague under the bus to save your own skin!)
8. “I need more information before I can commit to this.”
This buys you time and allows you to gather more details before making a decision. It also shows that you’re taking their request seriously and considering everything involved in it, which is the smart approach. You do want to be fully apprised of the situation before committing to it!
9. “I’m happy to help, but I need to know what other things I should de-prioritise to accommodate this.”
If your boss wants you to work on a project that’s totally outside of your purview, they need to know that it’ll have an effect on the workload that’s already on your plate. Saying this points out that if you do help, other things will necessarily fall by the wayside.
10. “Let’s schedule a time to discuss this when we both have more bandwidth.”
Sometimes you just need to postpone the conversation to a better time when both people are less stressed and more available. This helps you avoid rushed or unproductive discussions and ensures that you have the mental and emotional capacity to address the issue. It also shows respect for both your time and theirs.
11. “I understand your urgency, but I need to follow the established process for this type of request.”
Rules and protocols are put in place for a reason, and this makes it clear that you plan on following them. Just because the demanding person wants things NOW doesn’t mean they’re going to get it. Let them know that there’s a proper procedure to be followed, and they’ll just have to wait.
12. “I appreciate your feedback, but I’m confident in my approach.”
This puts your expertise and decision-making abilities at the forefront, while still acknowledging their input. It’s a great way of avoiding defensiveness or getting into arguments, and it also shows that you’re confident and that you back yourself. It’s truly the best of both worlds!
13. “I’m not available for last-minute requests. Please give me ample notice in the future.”
This helps you set clear expectations and discourages them from expecting you to drop everything at a moment’s notice. It also reinforces the importance of planning and respecting your time, and empowers you to say no to unreasonable demands and avoid unnecessary stress.
14. “I’m happy to discuss this, but let’s focus on solutions rather than dwelling on the problem.”
There’s no sense getting caught up on the details of a specific problem. Sure, you want to know where you’ve gone wrong, but you’re ultimately looking for a fix, not an argument that goes nowhere. This keeps the conversation firmly rooted in solutions, and that’s how it should be.
15. “I understand your frustration, but I’m doing the best I can under the circumstances.”
This is a great way of acknowledging their feelings while also pointing out that you’re a human being with your own emotions and limitations. You don’t need to back down to their demands simply because they’re animated about something. Life doesn’t work like that.
16. “I’m not willing to compromise my values or integrity for this.”
Sometimes you just have to set a firm boundary and leave it at that. If what the person is demanding goes against what you stand for, you’re not under any obligation to entertain them any further. That’s the end of the conversation.
17. “No.”
Sometimes, the most powerful response is simply saying “no.” You don’t always need to provide an explanation or justification. A firm and direct “no” can be enough to assert your boundaries and protect yourself. It also shows that you’re not afraid to stand up for yourself and put your own needs first.
