Given how readily everyone loves to hand out rules and guidelines for relationships, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.
But here’s the thing: not all of these rules are set in stone. In fact, some of them can be tossed right out the window because they’re complete rubbish. Here are some of the “rules” you’re better off totally disregarding.
1. You don’t have to be together all the time.
Spending quality time with your partner is awesome, but it doesn’t have to mean being attached at the hip 24/7. It’s completely fine to have your own lives and interests. Enjoy those hobbies, see your friends, and take some time for yourself. A little space can actually make your time together even more special.
2. You can’t let them see your messy side.
Perfection is overrated. Show your partner your messy side, the side that struggles, the side that isn’t always put together. Let them know about your flaws and weaknesses. This kind of vulnerability can deepen your connection and build trust. After all, everyone has a messy side, and it’s part of what makes you human.
3. You must always be in the mood.
Life gets busy, and sometimes you might not be in the mood for intimacy. And that’s totally okay. Communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling. It’s far better to be honest than to force something that doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship; it simply means you’re human and have fluctuating desires.
4. You shouldn’t go to bed angry.
While communication is key, sometimes resolving an argument right before bed isn’t realistic. If you’re both exhausted and emotionally drained, it might be better to sleep on it and revisit the conversation when you’re both feeling calmer and more level-headed. Forcing a resolution when you’re both upset might lead to saying things you don’t mean or further escalating the situation.
5. You can’t disagree with them.
Having different opinions is healthy in a relationship. It’s okay to challenge each other’s perspectives and engage in respectful debates. This doesn’t mean you love each other any less; it simply means you’re both individuals with your own thoughts and ideas. Just remember to communicate your disagreement constructively and listen to each other’s viewpoints.
6. You shouldn’t have secrets.
While honesty is crucial, having a few harmless secrets isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Everyone needs a little bit of privacy and personal space. You don’t have to share every single thought or detail with your partner. It’s okay to have some things that are just for you. It’s important to strike a balance between openness and maintaining your own sense of self.
7. You need to change for them.
While compromise is important in a relationship, you shouldn’t feel pressured to change who you are at your core. Your partner should love and accept you for who you are, flaws and all. Of course, personal growth is always a good thing, but it should be driven by your own desire to evolve, not by the expectation that you need to become someone else to please your partner.
8. You’re always supposed to be happy.
Relationships have their ups and downs. It’s unrealistic to expect to be happy all the time. There will be moments of sadness, frustration, and even anger. These emotions are perfectly normal and part of the human experience. Don’t feel like you have to put on a facade of constant happiness. Embrace the full spectrum of emotions in your relationship. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes.
9. You have to be best friends with their friends.
Sharing mutual friends is great, but it’s perfectly fine if you don’t connect with every single one of your partner’s mates. You don’t need to force friendships or pretend to enjoy someone’s company if you genuinely don’t. Focus on building genuine connections with the people you truly click with, and encourage your partner to do the same.
10. You need to have the same interests.
While shared interests can be fun, it’s not essential for a fulfilling relationship. It’s okay to have different hobbies and passions. In fact, it can be enriching to explore new things together and learn from each other’s interests. Embrace the diversity in your tastes and encourage each other’s individual pursuits.
11. You always have to say “I love you” back.
While expressing love is important, you don’t need to feel obligated to say “I love you” just because your partner said it first. It’s okay to take your time and only express those words when you truly feel them. Forcing it can feel inauthentic and might even diminish the meaning behind those three little words.
12. You need to have a picture-perfect relationship.
Forget about trying to create a picture-perfect relationship for social media or to impress other people. Focus on what truly matters: your connection with your partner. It’s okay if your relationship doesn’t always look like a romantic film scene or an Instagram-worthy post. What’s more important is the genuine love, respect, and support you share with each other.
13. You can’t talk about your exes.
Talking about exes can be a touchy subject, but it doesn’t have to be completely off-limits. If done respectfully and with a focus on understanding each other’s past experiences, it can be a way to learn more about your partner and their relationship history. Just be mindful of your partner’s feelings and avoid comparisons or dwelling on the past too much.
14. You shouldn’t spend money on yourself.
It’s important to be financially responsible as a couple, but that doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself occasionally. It’s okay to splurge on something you’ve been wanting or to indulge in a little self-care. It’s all about finding a balance between saving for the future and enjoying the present.
15. You must always be the one to initiate intimacy.
Sharing the responsibility for initiating intimacy is key to a healthy and fulfilling sex life. If you always feel like you’re the one making the first move, have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your needs and desires. It’s okay to express your preferences and discuss ways to create a more balanced and satisfying dynamic.
16. You need to know everything about each other.
Part of the beauty of a relationship is discovering new things about each other over time. You don’t have to know every single detail about your partner’s past, thoughts, or feelings. Leave some room for mystery and surprise. Allow each other the space to grow and evolve as individuals while sharing your journey together.
17. You shouldn’t need anyone else.
It’s okay to rely on friends and family for support, even when you’re in a relationship. Your partner doesn’t have to be your sole source of emotional fulfilment. Having a strong support system outside of your relationship can be beneficial for both you and your partner. It allows you to maintain healthy connections with other people and can even strengthen your bond with your partner.
