First impressions matter, and nothing can sour a new acquaintance faster than an inappropriate or invasive question.
While curiosity is natural, it’s important to respect boundaries and social etiquette when meeting someone for the first time. Here are 17 questions you should steer clear of when getting to know someone new.
1. “How much money do you make?”
This question is a major faux pas in most social situations. It’s invasive and can make people feel uncomfortable or judged. Financial matters are personal, and unless you’re in a specific professional context where this information is relevant, it’s best to avoid the topic entirely. Remember, a person’s worth isn’t determined by their pay cheque.
2. “Why aren’t you married yet?”
This question assumes that marriage is a universal goal and that there’s a “right” time for it. It can be hurtful to single people who want to be married and invasive to those who choose not to be. Relationship status is a personal matter, and there are countless reasons why someone might not be married. It’s best to let people volunteer this information if they wish.
3. “When are you having kids?”
This question is incredibly personal and can be painful for many reasons. Some people may be struggling with infertility, others may not want children, and some might be dealing with pregnancy loss. Family planning is a private matter, and this question can put unnecessary pressure on people. It’s best to let people share this information when they’re ready.
4. “Have you gained/lost weight?”
Commenting on someone’s body, especially someone you’ve just met, is inappropriate and can be hurtful. Weight fluctuations can be due to various factors, including health issues, stress, or lifestyle changes. It’s best to avoid commenting on people’s physical appearance unless they mention it themselves.
5. “What’s your political affiliation?”
Politics can be a heated topic, and diving into it with a new acquaintance can lead to unnecessary tension. While political discussions can be valuable, they require a level of trust and mutual respect that’s not typically present in new relationships. It’s better to stick to neutral topics until you know someone better.
6. “Why did your last relationship end?”
This question is deeply personal and can bring up painful memories. Relationship histories are complex and private. If someone wants to share this information, they will do so in their own time. Asking about it right off the bat can make you seem nosy and insensitive.
7. “What’s your religion?”
Religious beliefs are personal and can be a sensitive topic. While it’s fine to discuss religion if it comes up naturally, asking about it directly when you’ve just met someone can put them on the spot. Some people might not be comfortable discussing their faith, or lack thereof, with strangers.
8. “Is that your real hair/Are those real?”
Questions about someone’s appearance, especially ones that imply artificiality, are rude and invasive. Whether it’s about hair, body parts, or anything else, these questions can make people feel self-conscious and judged. It’s best to appreciate people as they present themselves, without prying into the details.
9. “Why don’t you drink?”
There are many reasons why someone might choose not to drink alcohol, including health issues, personal preferences, or a history of addiction. Pressing someone on this can make them feel uncomfortable or obligated to explain a personal choice. If someone declines a drink, simply respect their decision without question.
10. “How old are you?”
While this might seem like a harmless question, many people are sensitive about their age. In professional settings, it can also be seen as a form of discrimination. Unless there’s a specific, important reason to know someone’s age, it’s best to avoid asking directly. People will share this information if they want to.
11. “What’s wrong with your skin/body part?”
Pointing out perceived flaws or asking about physical characteristics, especially potential health issues, is incredibly rude. These questions can be hurtful and embarrassing. If someone has a visible difference they want to discuss, they’ll bring it up themselves.
12. “Why don’t you have a real job?”
This question is presumptuous and judgmental. It implies that certain jobs aren’t “real” or valuable. Every job has its purpose, and people work for various reasons. It’s not your place to judge someone’s career choices, especially when you’ve just met them.
13. “Are you pregnant?”
Never ask this question unless you’re 100% certain (like, you’ve been explicitly told). It can be incredibly embarrassing if the person isn’t pregnant, and if they are, they may not be ready to share that information. Let people announce their pregnancies when they’re ready.
14. “Why don’t you have kids?”
Source: Unsplash Similar to asking about pregnancy, this question can be very painful. People may be childfree by choice, struggling with infertility, or have other personal reasons for not having children. It’s a private matter and not appropriate for casual conversation with a new acquaintance.
15. “Have you had work done?”
Source: Unsplash Asking about cosmetic procedures is invasive and can make people feel self-conscious. Whether someone has had “work done” or not is their private business. Appreciate people for who they are without prying into the specifics of their appearance.
16. “Where are you really from?”
Source: Unsplash This question can be offensive, especially to people of colour or those with accents. It implies that they don’t belong or aren’t “really” from where they say they’re from. If someone wants to share their heritage or background, they will. Otherwise, accept the answer they give you.
17. “How much did that cost?”
Source: Unsplash Asking about the cost of someone’s possessions, whether it’s their house, car, clothes, or anything else, is impolite. It can make people feel uncomfortable and like you’re judging their financial decisions. Unless someone volunteers this information, it’s best not to ask.
