You might think your relationship is strong and healthy, but certain habits and behaviours can destroy your connection before you even realise what’s happening.
There’s no one right way to be a good partner, but it’s important to be aware of how you interact with your other half that might lead to frustration, confusion, or even resentment. If you’re doing any of the following things, it’s important to stop before it ruins everything.
1. You’re treating your partner like a mind reader.
Come on, we’ve all done it — expected our other half to just know what we’re thinking. But unless they’ve got some secret superpower, they can’t actually read your mind. Not speaking up about what you want or need is a guaranteed way to breed resentment. Time to use your words!
2. You’re keeping score like it’s a football match.
Relationships aren’t a competition. If you’re mentally tallying up who did what last, or who owes who, you’re heading for trouble. It’s not about being even-steven all the time, it’s about both of you giving your best when you can.
3. You’re letting the small stuff slide… until it becomes big stuff.
Those little annoyances you brush off have a nasty habit of piling up over time. Before you know it, you’re exploding because they left their socks on the floor for the millionth time. Addressing minor issues as they come up can save you from major blow-ups down the line. Don’t just sweep things under the carpet hoping they’ll disappear on their own!
4. You’re playing the blame game 24/7.
It’s easy to point fingers when things go wrong, but if you’re constantly making your partner the bad guy, you’re not doing your relationship any favours. Remember, you’re supposed to be on the same team. Try focusing on solving problems together instead of pointing the finger.
5. You’re treating your phone like it’s glued to your hand.
Source: Unsplash I get it, your phone’s important, but if you’re more interested in scrolling through social media than talking to your partner, that’s a problem. Give them your full attention sometimes — no screens allowed. Your Instagram feed can wait.
6. You’re letting your intimate life gather dust.
Source: Unsplash Life gets busy, of course, but if you’re constantly too tired or not in the mood, it might be time to look at why. Physical intimacy is important for most relationships. If it’s dropping off, it could be a sign of deeper issues that need addressing.
7. You’re turning into a pair of couch potatoes.
Netflix and chill is great, but if that’s all you ever do together, you might be in a rut. Relationships need new experiences to keep the spark alive. Try something new together — even if it’s just a walk in a different park.
8. You’re forgetting to say ‘thank you’ for the little things.
It’s easy to take the everyday stuff for granted, but a little appreciation goes a long way. Whether it’s thanking them for making the tea or doing the washing up, showing gratitude can make a big difference to how valued your partner feels.
9. You’re letting your friends become a third wheel.
Mates are important, but if you’re constantly prioritising them over your partner, that’s not great. It’s all about balance. Make sure you’re setting aside quality time for just the two of you as well.
10. You’re avoiding the money talk.
Source: Unsplash Finances can be a right pain to discuss, but avoiding the topic altogether is asking for trouble. Whether it’s about saving, spending, or splitting bills, being on the same page about money matters is vital for a healthy relationship.
11. You’re letting work take over your life.
Source: Unsplash We all need to earn a living, but if you’re constantly bringing work stress home or neglecting your relationship for your job, something’s got to give. Try to find a balance that works for both of you.
12. You’re not making an effort with their family or friends.
Source: Unsplash Your partner’s loved ones are part of the package deal. If you’re always finding excuses not to spend time with them, it might make your other half feel like you’re not fully committed. Make an effort — even if Uncle Bob’s jokes are terrible.
13. You’re letting yourselves go… and not in a good way.
It’s normal to get comfy in a relationship, but if you’ve stopped making any effort with your appearance or health, it might be a sign you’re taking things for granted. Taking care of yourself shows you value yourself and your partner.
14. You’re living in the past.
Dragging up old arguments or comparing your current relationship to past ones is a recipe for disaster. Focus on the here and now, and the future you want to build together.
15. You’re not laughing together anymore.
If everything’s become serious, and you can’t remember the last time you had a good laugh together, that’s not great. Humour is like relationship glue — it helps you get through the tough times and makes the good times even better.
16. You’re forgetting to be kind.
Source: Unsplash It’s easy to be kind to strangers, but sometimes we forget to extend the same courtesy to our partners. Small acts of kindness — making them a cuppa, giving them a hug when they look stressed — can make a world of difference.
17. You’re not growing together.
Source: Unsplash People change over time, and that’s normal. But if you’re not supporting each other’s personal growth or sharing new experiences, you might find yourselves growing apart instead of together. Keep challenging and inspiring each other to be your best selves.
